It's bad. My heart is beating too loudly.

Just why the hell am I so tense!?

Even though I've simulated this kind of situation with Natsumi countless times, and even ended up reading lots of nonsensical articles on the net about how to proceed in this sort of situation.

I can't stop my hands from getting sweaty at all. Didn't they say today was the coldest day of this winter? I look totally lame like this!

Calm down.

I should just calm down already.

There's no way it would go well if I confessed in this state.

Okay, first, let's take a deep breath. If I fill my lungs with the winter's cold air, my delirium would also cool itself.

"Hey, hey, Riichi."

Disregarding my pointlessly tense and flustered state, Natsumi addressed me with her usual lively tone.  

Her scarlet coat and miniskirt whirled around as she spun to face me. Her trademark large headphones hung around her neck just like always; however, maybe because she looked different out of her all too familiar uniform, she appeared all the more lovely today.

"Y-Yes, what is it?"

"Look. It's so pretty!!"

"R-Right."

Wasn't that just terrible!?

Come on, me! Take a proper look at this scenery from the rooftop.

The whole town is lit up just as much as the Christmas Tree in front of the station. Even Abies Tower, preparing for its illumination at 7 PM, is clearly visible from up here.

Misono city is all dressed up for Christmas, and I couldn't come up with a better reply!? What's with "Right"! Is it so impossible for me to say something smarter!?

...................

.............

.......

Is it impossible after all?!

In my seventeen years of life, I've never had a girlfriend and, of course, I've never been alone with a girl on Christmas Eve.

So, because of that, it would instead be unreasonable to tell someone like me not to be nervous.

I mean, just look.

She's just lovely, her expression was so cheerful that the nervousness from our first meeting had seemed like a lie, and even now her face lit up as she gazed at the scenery before her eyes.

"You really have changed."

"Eh, what? Riichi, did you say something?"

"You used to be just like a hedgehog."

"W-Wha!? What do you mean by that!?"

"Just what it sounds like, what else? Let's see, you're more like a squirrel now, aren't you?"

"S-Squirrel you say, I'm not that cuuuuute."

I said all that, but causing her to blush and feel embarrassed like that ended up making my chest throb like crazy, although it seems she had no awareness of it.

"You say that, but aren't you the same, Riichi?"

"How so?"

"You didn't even look me in the eyes when we first met, so who are you to tease me about changing?"

"Oh shut up! I just had some stuff going on."

"What‘s the point of putting on airs like that? It's not cool and it just shows that you are a shy person, you know?"

"Youu!?"

I chased after the fleeing Natsumi who had an impish smile that had the word "payback" written on it.

Our laughter resounded on the rooftop illuminated by the moonlight.

It was really fun and lively, and compared to the early spring I think the distance between us had shortened a bit, no, quite a lot actually.

"Hey, I said wait!"

"Not happening~ Catch me properly."

"You little!"

Christmas Eve.

The two of us were alone on the rooftop.

It was a school holiday today so there was no chance of anyone coming up here.

That's why, right now, this place belonged to just the two of us.

"I caught you."

"Kyaa~"

As I caught her arm, Natsumi lost her balance and collapsed towards me. While I embraced her in that moment, our hearts beat pleasantly in step.

I didn't know whether that was because I was making merry due to accomplishing that or because of what I was about to try to do from now.

"......."

"......."

Immediately after the easy silence, the tension had taken over my whole body. The hand that was grasping Natsumi's hand had also strengthened its grip spontaneously. That's why I'm sure it must have been transmitted to her.

The fact of what I was about to try to do now.

"........."

She gazed at me while holding her breath. Loaded with the feelings of anticipation and anxiety, tension and exaltation. Her cheeks dyed in red, with somewhat moist eyes. Her shapely face was heated up as if she was hoping for something.

"Natsumi."

But my voice trembled despite all the preparations I've done.

My throat became dry, and my cheeks became flushed.

Ah, shit.

My heart is beating too loud, after all.

"......Riichi."

Even her voice addressing me was filled with extraordinary feelings.

Her tightly shut lips looked heartrending, and, even though they were feverish and damp, for some reason they were trembling as if she would freeze up at any moment.

Her dim gaze was looking at me as if it was desiring something, yet there was also timidity in it.

She looked awkward and embarrassed, so that's why my feelings overflowed:

"I love you, Natsumi!"

And I turned them into words and conveyed them.

"......"

Opening her eyes widely,

"Yeah."

Natsumi nodded once.

Her teary voice reverberated in my heart.

"Me too."

Her every word made my heart tremble.

"I love you too. I love you too, Riichi!"

"...!"

I hugged her with all my strength.

After all, there was no need to keep suppressing these feelings anymore.

"I love you, Natsumi! I love you!"

"Yes. Yes. Me too. I love you too!"

Damnit, what is this, why am I so happy!?

Just what on earth is this!

I had no idea there was such a pleasant and passionate feeling that you just can't help but feel.

Hey, if...if God truly exists,

"I wish time would stop like this. Natsumi, I'm unimaginably happy now!"

"Me too, I'm also happy! If only time truly stopped like this."

In that way, our feelings of happiness clashed against each other.

Looking at each other, my heart felt light and ticklish perhaps because of too much happiness.

We exchanged smiles,

And then,

"Agh──"

Natsumi vomited blood.

In front of my eyes that had opened wide from the shock of not even understanding what had occurred, Natsumi started to fall as if sinking down. Opposite of her spread out hair that gave off a brilliance so pretty that it seemed out of place, the lit up Abies Tower from before was quietly staring down at the two of us.

While catching Natsumi's body as it collapsed, I thought in the corner of my mind.

──I see, so blood is this warm.

And like this, at 18:47, Natsumi had met her first death.

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