Wholly Undead Chapter 124: Showing off

Jack used the end of his staff to knock on the door, as he heard a voice from the inside, "...Joey, what do ya want now..." A hard voice sounded.

"Ahem... Crag, I've come to see you-" Just before Jack could finish his words Crag tore the door from the frame to look out.

He took a look at Jack floating in mid-air, as he fell to a knee, while he threw the door to the side, "Ya humble servant has completed his mission, God-King."

[Augh... Even him...]

"Rise Crag. You don't have to kneel to me in the future." Jack said as he floated into the room, and seen it was messy with paperwork. Piles of paperwork was scattered everywhere, but there was one thing that was sorely missing... There was no burnt offering in the air.

Jack mentally frowned.

Jack took a seat at Crag's desk and moved a stack of his paperwork to look at Crag from across the desk. Crag was busy putting the door back in the frame, but it didn't fit neatly anymore.

"I will get someone to fix it. Make do for now." Jack said solemnly.

"Y-yes."

Crag did his best, and then took a seat, as black beaded sweat formed on his brows... It was just two days ago, that he looked out of his window behind his desk to see in the sky above him the God-King and his voice rumbled so long and so on, that he thought his dead heart was going to pump again.

"Crag... I seem to find a distinct lack of burnt offerings here."

"Of-Of course! I gave them up for the God-King!" Crag said under pressure.

"Gave... Gave them up?! Why?!?"

"Oh, mighty God-King of Undeadkind, what has upset you!?" Crag asked under duress.

"Who said that I didn't like burnt offerings." Jack put his laptop on his desk, and let his staff go to the side, as it glided to the edge of the desk.

"Ah-Well... Being a god and holy... and righteous, I just assumed, that..."

"Assumed what?" Jack's flaming eyes crackled in his eye sockets.

"That ya wouldn't be about vices!" Crag blurted out.

"Haaaa~" Jack sighed.

"Crag, whatever act this is, you can drop it. I'm still the same undead you knew when I met you. It's just now that everyone calls me a god."

"I remember telling ya about the prophecy my dear daddy told me... I didn't think it was true, about gods... I just thought it was about really powerful Cultivators."

"Don't worry about it Crag... You know I've been in the mood for some Burnt Offerings, say like... some Brimstone dust." Jack said with a voice of expectation.

As the word lingered in the air, Boss Crag began to wildly laugh, and cough while he was laughing. Large gaffing laughter resounded, before he finally calmed down.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked in a tone that asked, 'why are you laughing.'

"I just didn't expect a God of Holy Light to burn some dust with me! This will be stories that my decedents will look back and go... 'Wow, our ancestor burnt offerings with a god!'"

"Well, it's not going to happen if you don't like that up... Come on dude, some of us have things to do today." Jack cut part of his act but kept his voice stern.

"Of course, of course." Boss Crag ran to the side of the room, and from behind a book case, he pulled out his supplies.

"You didn't give that crap up! You just stashed it... I should have known."

"Old habits die hard, witchy, hah Oop... Can I still call you witchy?"

"I don't care, just don't stand on ceremony."

"Got it!" Crag sat up the censor and ignited the dust he placed on it. Thus, the room began to be filled with wispy smoke.

Jack and Crag sat in their seats, Jack in Boss Crag's, and Boss Crag's in one of his guest seats, as they took in the smoke produced.

"Ah... I've missed this. You got to give me the recipe for this."

"Not a chance! If I do that, then I won't be able to entertain a god from time to time."

"Haha, fair point." Jack laughed, then asked, "Alright, did you get it done."

"Who am I?"

"Capt- Boss Crag?"

"Damn right! Got the whole of the SEU Trading Company under thumb. You are looking at the CEO of the whole company, though I lost our Branch in Zitergall, though I'm sure you know why."

"Are you complaining?"

"Not even a chance of that. It's like losses during a natural disaster... Who am I going to argue? The Underworld? Fate? A god who was pissed, and back handed an entire city?"

"So, you heard about that...?"

"Are you kidding... A deaf undead heard about that. Seriously impressive."

Jack waved his hand in the air, "Actually, I have something more impressive than that sitting on your desk."

"Huh?" Boss Crag looked all over his desk, and only see a thin gold tome laid on the desk. He didn't think this was impressive, but what else could it be?

Jack followed his eyes, and nodded, "It is indeed this." Jack patted the thin gold tome.

"What is it?" Crag asked, as he inhaled another round of burnt offerings.

"I believe this is the most powerful artifact in all of the Underworld." Jack said proudly.

"Is it some really powerful technique or cultivation art?"

"It's called a Laptop."

"Lap...? Top...?" Crag didn't quite follow.

"Let me explain. Imagine a tome that can store the information of all the tomes you have ever seen in your unlife, then imagine it can answer any question you ask verbally and solve any problem you ask, then imagine it can learn." Jack said feeling smug.

"...Ya produced a living tome?" Crag asked in wonderment.

"What's a living tome?" Jack asked dumbfounded.

"Ya know... A living tome... binding the soul of a creature or undead to a tomb to catalog information. Almost all of the major clans and families have one. I've even got one. Keeps track of my family tree." Crag said matter of factly.

[Son of a bitch... Wait... Mine is a super computer, not just some rando creature!]

"Those living tomes can't compare to mine." Jack got a hold of his and opened it up. It shows the screen with an hour glass, and a small key board on the bottom page.

"Ya living tome only has two pages?"

"It only needs two pages." Jack said, again, as he regained his confidence in his creation.

"Remember what I told you last time about what I was working on?"

"The ultimate tool."

"This is it."

"Well... What does it keep track of?" Crag wondered.

"Anything I want... Let's demonstrate it." Jack said as he looked at the timer on the laptop. It only had a few hours left to complete his city project.

"Tux, pause current project." Jack spoke as the screen changed to that of an undead penguin.

"Reporting to Creator. Project has been paused and saved." Tux replied dutifully.

"This is it." Jack spoke with excitement.

"What kind of creature did ya bind to this? I've never seen anything like this."

"It's a penguin." Jack didn't bother to correct Crag on the fact he had made this penguin out of spells, and not a soul.

"I'd like to know where ya got this thing from. It seems smart."

"Seems? Let me ask you. What would be a difficult thing to think up?"

Chapter end