Wholly Undead 4 Shenanigans Are Afoo

Jack laid in his Evening Tomb sorting through this new information, and coming to terms about his new situation. In truth, Jack just didn't want to deal with this.

*******

"Say Marquis Mark, what's your plan now?" A bloated zombie spoke and walked over to a large table and sat down.

The room was brightly lite, with a large table that laid out showing a feast of otherworldly delights. The bloated zombie started in on this food like he had never ate, speaking through spittle, as it flew. On the walls of the room where maps, and information. At the left side of the long table, stood Marquis Mark, looking out of his window that was high above the city's more common folk.

"Why so silent?" The zombie looked up from a goblet of Ichorious Wine.

Marquis Mark turned to look at the zombie. Marquis Mark would of frowned, but with the absence of a face... Reading this expression would be difficult.

"Don't give me that. I've known you too long to know what that stance means." The zombie put down his goblet; looking up at Marquis Mark.

"Business Head John... Honestly. This is the worst case possible." Marquis Mark said while letting out an intentional sigh. How pretentious, Marquis Mark had no lungs, but made a sigh anyway to let his dissatisfaction be heard. He turned to look back out the window, and down on top of the Holy City of Saigunrai. The seat of the Holy Kingdom of Deagoth.

Business Head John didn't speak, and returned to his feast. He really enjoyed coming by and being a guest of Marquis Mark. He always rolled out the carpet for him, and spared nothing for him to eat. While Business Head John might have controlled one of the biggest independent Merchant groups in the Underworld, eating such delights could only be found here.

Marquis Mark always had the best connections to get the best food. One has to remember that Marquis Mark was a skeleton undead, and didn't have need to eat like zombies. Never the less, he tracked down and retained the best undead cooks in the Country just to court the favor of Business Head John, and his rival, Business Head George.

This feast to a zombie was divine! Deep fried marsh drake skewers, Dark abyss dumplings, and Meat bread just to name a few. Of course, Business Head John's favorite was the Stonedge Meatshrooms! Imported from The Republic of Stonedge!

Meatshrooms were one of the staples of undead zombie cuisine! Easy to grow, but hard to make tasty! Stonedge's mushroom farms were simply... the best! Their local hunters would go out and track the most dangerous of Underworld prey, to drag back and leave in the mushroom fields. The Stonedge Meatshrooms would spew out spores to paralyze their prey, and soon become fodder for more Meatshrooms! The Meatshrooms where large mushrooms with a meaty texture, even containing bones! No living being could eat these, as they contained vile toxins. Zombie's usually said the more toxic the Meatshroom the tastier it was!

Business Head John finished his meal, and stood up to walk over to Marquis Mark holding onto the remaining Ichorious Wine, still in the bottle. He lifted it to chug it down.

"John, I swear. Were you a Hungry ghost that possessed a zombie?" Marquis Mark looked over to Business Head John, as he completed his grand course.

"I don't recall Us being so close, as you can use my first name, Marquis Mark." Business Head John put down his finished bottle, and stared at Marquis Mark.

Out of embarrassment and habit, Marquis Mark took his silver monocle down and wiped it clean with a white cloth, before putting it back over his empty eye socket. This was a habit he developed while still alive.

Marquis Mark didn't try further to close the distance with Business Head John. He had been trying to curry favor with him for at least 500 years. [Eating my food, and not even thanking me... I swear... Zombies....] Marquis Mark remarked in his mind, displeased with the way Business Head John acted, but showed no displeasure to his behavior.

"Nothing changed. Borda still wants a supply from the Northern Boneyards, and rights to half of the Holy Bone Mills." Business Head John walked to stand next to Marquis Mark as the other looked over the City, from Marquis Mark's Stately manor.

The famed light of the Skull of the Sun God cascaded over the black roof tops that glimmered in the light like black pearls in the ocean.

"That would of been possible to pass legislation like that, I finally have enough nobles in my pocket... IF THAT STUPID BITCH DIDN'T INSIST ON WAKING THE HOLY WITCH KING, AND HE ACTUALLY WOKE UP!" Marquis Mark grabbed an ancient vase of black roses next to him and threw it across the room; shattering upon impact scattering black rose petals near the entrance of the room.

"Sigh..." Business Head John looked down at such outbursts. Marquis Mark was one of the most scheming undead he knew, but by the Dead Lady was he Bi-Polar. Sometimes, he didn't know how Mark made it this far.

While Marquis Mark was prone to bouts of rage, this was always kept in the comfort of his home; never would he let others have the satisfaction that they pissed him off outside his manor. Yes. Leslie's action of rousing the Court to raise The Holy Witch King really got under his bones, throwing all his plans out of the window.

"You lose the most antiques this way." Business Head John looked over at the shattered vase, disinterestedly.

Marquis Mark rasped his fingers against the window seal, letting out a rhythm of tap-tap-tap... tap-tap-tap, as he thought.

Silence descended for a few minutes.

Business Head John cleared his sticky throat. "Marquis Mark, my visit today is to offer benefits from Jakahn. They are most displeased with the news that The Holy Witch King will return, and wishes for you to smuggle in a new batch of spies for them, preferably placed into key positions."

The rhythm on the window seal paused. "What... Benefits?" Marquis Mark spoke grimly.

*******

Countess Leslie wanted to reach out and caress the hand of Her Grace, but dared not too. She had already gained too much today. It was best not to push too much too fast, but by the Light how much she wanted.

[So... I died, and woke up at this Holy Witch King. What is a Holy Witch King? Why not Warlock, but how is that Holy, and why not a LICH KING!] Jack was coming to terms with various subjects he had recently encountered, while joking to himself along the way. He was quite use to entertaining himself, while being alone, though Jack was clearly not alone, as the enraptured beauty to his side longingly and lovingly watched over him.

[Now I have to solve an impending war... Didn't that Angel of Death spell scare these people into not messing with this kingdom anymore? Why are they coming now?] Jack couldn't make sense of what he was supposed to do or how to do it. [One thing is for sure. I need to learn more... Now I wonder was being entombed such a bad thing.]

Jack turned his head, as his vision came back, and looked deep into the undead but spirited eyes of Leslie. Leslie stiffened. This awkward staring match lasted for a good count of 30 seconds.

Leslie stood back up from her position where she was leaned over looking into the hollowed eyes of Her Grace, and walked to the door. With her back facing Her Grace, "Are you ready to attend to your study now?" In her embarrassment, she forgot to add an endearment.

"Yes. I am ready." Jack said, as he sat up, and got out of his Evening Tomb. Leslie opened the door, and walked into the hall. Just as Jack was about to leave with her, she gawked at him as he took one step into the hall.

She knelt quickly, "My Grace, your shoes!"

"Huh?" Jack let out a huh sound. This sounded very odd with such an imposing and heroic voice. In fact, this was the first time a huh had ever been heard from The Holy Witch King.

[Oh Holy undead ancestors, My dear has even forgotten to wear shoes!] Leslie felt like crying.

Jack retracted his foot and stepped back into his chambers. He looked around and saw some gold slippers, to the left of the chamber exit... [I walked her bare boned... seriously why shoes... Undead with shoes? Undead care about shoes?]

Jack didn't know that as the ruler and supreme pontiff of the Holy Kingdom of Deagoth, he never walked bare foot on open ground. Only in his chamber would he, this style became the custom of all Noble Holy Undead in the Kingdom.

Jack was about to bend down to pick them up, but was stopped by Leslie. [Honestly, My Dear can put on his shoes without bending his waist... But I'll take this chance!]

She knelt down and picked up his right shoe. "My Dear, brace your hand on my shoulder so I can help." Leslie spoke softly, with a bit of mischief found in her voice. No one had heard this tone from Leslie for at least a thousand years.

Jack didn't think about it, he placed his hand on her left shoulder and lifted his right foot. In delight she paused, savoring the feeling of being touched. She then placed the shoe on his foot, and Jack proceeded to his second foot. Now done, Leslie stood and quickly walked away from Her Grace, with her back to him he could not see her expression.

[When was it last I was touched! How many years!] Leslie was actually counting the years since she was accidentally brushed against by Her Grace.

Jack thought this was the weirdest thing that happened since he got here, and he became undead and washed in an acid bath!

Jack followed Leslie down the winding corridors with halls lite brightly with glowstones. The whole castle seemed to be made from bones and was super bright, not the kind of place one things of when they think of a undead king. continuing down a flight of stairs and into a landing. Leslie turned, her face looked a bit pale... errrr paler than usual.

With fluttered eyes, she looked at Her Grace, "My Dear, this is your study. Only you can enter into it, I will wait in my Study down the hall. I will listen for you when you return." Leslie turned and walked away with hurried steps.

Jack looked at the solid bone door, and went to push on the door. As he pushed the door, Jack's arm slipped through the door as if nothing was there and fell into the room. Jack laid face down on the floor for a few minutes.

[I really hope I don't learn I'm the chosen one or a messiah, because I may just be the most embarrassing joke ever made.] Jack got to his feet and looked around, clearly impressed by his surroundings, his lower jaw hung open.

A room about the size of half a football field and tall as it was wide filled with golden books, with numerous tables and chairs, all made of bone of course, were returned to his vision.

[What a LIBRARY!] Jack stared at all the shelves. Row after row of book cases, with books packed on each shelf. Each book was GOLD PLATED! [Is gold like dirt here?] Jack took a few more steps into the Study, at this point he saw a flash of light, and a Skeleton in grand robes walked to him. He was white and gold like him. In fact, he looked exactly like Jack, currently!

Chapter end