The Story of Dusk 229 I DON'T WANT TO COMPETE

Before he said he would leave once they arrived at Xiao Jun's mansion, but after two days he still stayed at his courtyard, not only that, he was spending most of his time in Qianru's place, though she didn't put his presence in her eyes and they were barely talking with each other. Xiao Jun still visited her.

Seeing his Master and Mistress's relationship turned sour, Liu Wei mustered his courage to talk to Qianru.

This afternoon, when Xiao Jun went to the palace to report about the upcoming war with the other two kingdoms, Liu Wei approached Qianru after she finished her lunch.

He gestured to Jinse and the other guards to step a bit further so no one would hear whatever Liu Wei would say.

Qianru felt something weird when Jinse didn't stand beside her and the other guards were standing out of the pavilion.

"What is it?" She asked to the only person who was standing nearby, Liu Wei.

Qianru's perfect brows scrunched when she watched Liu Wei get down on his knees and lowered his head deeply as if he had committed a big crime and filled with guilty feeling.

"Mistress…" Liu Wei knocked his head hard on the guard that startled Qianru by his strange action.

"What happened?" Qianru stood up and took two step back. She didn't know what this subordinate wanted, but she felt uncomfortable with his gesture.

"Mistress, please don't treat Master coldly…" Liu Wei pleaded, once again his forehead on the ground.

Qianru's eyes darkened when she heard his pleading words. "Jun asked you to do something like this?" She would be very upset if Liu Wei was really ordered by Xiao Jun to persuade her.

Hastily Liu Wei shook his head. "No, Master had never ordered this subordinate to do anything."

Qianru's eyes darkened. "So, what are you doing now?" Her icy cold tone made Liu Wei shuddered and started to regret his reckless decision.

However, since he had gone all the way to this point, he needed to continue. "Princess Xiao, Master really regrets for everything that he had done to you…"

"For everything that he had done to me?" Qianru enunciated her words while squinting her eyes.

"Princess Xiao, please forgive Master." Liu Wei knocked his head hard three times against the ground. "Master is so miserably because Mistress has been giving him a cold shoulder."

Liu Wei had been following Xiao Jun for years, more or less he knew his Master personality.

Ever since they arrived at the Greenhill Mountain, their Master was very livid when he witnessed Qianru was being carried by Qi Xunyi.

Liu Wei also heard about Qianru's miscarriage and felt regretful, because his Master had decided to leave his wife to save his life, he was grateful but also regretted the decision.

His life supposed to be nothing if one should compare with Qianru and the life that was growing inside her at that time.

That was why now, he gathered his courage to talk to his Mistress.

"Master often lost in his thought, something that never happened before. He would work until late at night, but most of the time his mind is somewhere else." Liu Wei knew that because, though Xiao Jun work until late, but not a single order that he issued neither he finished his work.

"That is not my business anymore." Qianru said succinctly as she flicked her sleeves and was about to leave.

Liu Wei abruptly raised his head and caught Qianru's rigid expression. She really didn't care anymore. He had heard about Qianru's callous attitude toward Xiao Jun, but only now he witnessed it himself.

Their Mistress, who was always put their Master's matter above her head and would always try to please him, now she didn't even spare a single glance when Liu Wei revealed Xiao Jun's misery.

"Princess Xiao…" Liu Wei crawled on the ground, hoping he could draw his Mistress sympathy. "When we were at Greenhill Mountain, we should have left once we met you, but Master wanted to stay a bit longer because you like been there."

At that time Xiao Jun had received many harsh letters from Elder Dam and Ye Xiu to return to Azura, but he ignored all of that because he saw Qianru's fondness of the ambience of the Mountain, so he decided to stay a bit longer.

"Princess Xiao, Master also should have left two days ago to meet Commander Dam at the north fortress, but Master put it back and drag the appointed time again." Liu Wei tried to explain his Master's situation.

He was merely a guard, who didn't receive a proper education, thus the way he talked was very frank as he didn't know how to beautify his words to gain Qianru's sympathy.

"That is his problem, not mine. If he wanted to stay he could stay, if he wanted to leave he could leave anytime. He doesn't need my permission, not now not before. You talk to the wrong person chief guard Liu Wei." Qianru stated it sternly.

"Princess Xiao, if life of this subordinate could appease your anger, I will be glad to take it. Master wasn't beside you during the miscarriage because of he was saving this lowly servant. This lowly servant feels ashamed for being alive." Liu Wei knocked his head hard against the ground again until his forehead was bruised and bled.

With the word of 'miscarriage' from Liu Wei, Qianru's heart ached once again, she had been pretending that miraculous event had never happened before, but Liu Wei had brought it up and cut the unhealed wound.

"Even if you kill yourself, your death will not bring anything good for me. In the future don't approach me to talk trivial things like this anymore. It is very bothersome. " After saying that, Qianru walked away from the pavilion, leaving Liu Wei with his misery and bleeding head.

*** 

At night, when Xiao Jun finally returned from Azura's Kingdom to report everything that he knew about the join forced between Rockstone Kingdom and Zodasian Kingdom to the Emperor Xiao Zi, of course he didn't mention about his instigation to start the war and the join force of the two kingdoms, he found Liu Wei with bandaged head.

"What happened with your head?" Xiao Jun asked when he arrived at Qianru's place. He had ordered Liu Wei to look after Qianru, even when he had gone to the battlefield, he wouldn't bring him along with him.

"This…" Liu Wei touched his forehead awkwardly. "This subordinate fell when practice with other guards." He lied and hoped Xiao Jun didn't see it.

Whether Xiao Jun knew that he lied to him or he simply didn't want to know about the story behind his wounded head, Xiao Jun didn't pursue the matter further.

"What is she doing now?" Xiao Jun asked about Qianru while he strode crossed the yard.

"Princess Xiao had just finished her dinner and now is walking near the pavilion with her maidservant." Liu Wei informed his Master accurately.

If Xiao Jun knew what he was doing this afternoon, the wound on his forehead would mean nothing compare to the punishment that he would receive. Now, when he thought about it again, he was very fool to think that he could gain his Mistress sympathy with his lack of persuasion ability.

Xiao Jun hastened his pace toward the pavilion.

Once he saw his wife basked under the moonlight, he stopped walking and enjoyed the scenery before his eyes.

There was a faint smile on Qianru's lips when she talked to Jinse beside her. The gesture, which just now Xiao Jun realized that he longed for long time, he missed her smile.

Minor thing that he had never fancied before, but now he treasured it.

Before, Qianru would smile often, she loved to smile ever since they were little. It was so weird to see her this way.

Beside Qianru, Jinse caught a sight of Xiao Jun and nodded her head, curiously Qianru tilted her head to see to whom Jinse gave her courtesy, and when her eyes laid on Xiao Jun's figure, her faint smile disappear, there was nothing for Xiao Jun to see.

With brows knitted together, Xiao Jun waved his hand and gestured for Jinse to leave both of them alone.

Lowering her head, Jinse obeyed Xiao Jun's silent order and left Qianru's side.

The night was bright under the moonlight and the wind wasn't as cold as the night before, hence Qianru didn't wear many robes to warm her.

Xiao Jun walked straight toward her and intertwined their fingers as he led the way for their night stroll.

Qianru sighed tiredly, she didn't like his gesture, but didn't want to argue with him, so she let him to do whatever he wanted as she walked a step behind him, it almost like she was being dragged by Xiao Jun.

"I will leave to the north fortress tonight." Xiao Jun suddenly stopped walking and hugged Qianru, he breathed in her scent.

"Alright." Qianru answered curtly like she usually did.

"Will you wait for me?" Xiao Jun asked again after a long period of silence.

Qianru didn't answer his question immediately as she looked up to the starry night sky. She still didn't answer him after Xiao Jun asked the same question.

"You don't want to wait for me anymore…" Xiao Jun stated with voice that laced with pain. "What should I do to gain your love back?" He released her and cupped her face, so Qianru would see him right in his eyes.

"I have told you that before." Qianru finally answered him, but that wasn't the reply that Xiao Jun wanted to hear. "I will no longer wait for you. You can finish whatever thing that you had been planning and I don't even mind if you take a concubine as I will not be able to conceive your heir."

"SHUT UP!" Xiao Jun yelled at Qianru and subconsciously pushed her away. He didn't mean to hurt her, but he really didn't want to hear whatever she was going to say next.

Why she suggested him to take a concubine? Who the stupid physician that said she couldn't conceive again!?

Qianru fell on the ground, fortunately the grasses saved her from the worse impact as she didn't feel as hurt as it supposed to be.

Realizing what he had done, Xiao Jun widened his eyes in shock and abruptly knelt beside her, checked on her if she was fine.

"Are you alright?" Xiao Jun asked in panic. "Do you hurt somewhere?"

Xiao Jun stretched out his hand to touch her, but Qianru swatted him away. "Don't touch me!" She said in anger.

"I didn't mean to push you away." Xiao Jun tried to explain, but his explanation wasn't the thing that Qianru wanted to hear now.

"You always said you didn't mean that, you didn't mean this!" Qianru glared at Xiao Jun and stood up without his help. "But, you always did! Yes, I am hurt! You hurt me, you always hurt me! But, you always say that you didn't mean that!?" Qianru couldn't content her anger.

She was livid now. She stared down at Xiao Jun, who was still kneeling on the ground with menacing glare, something that even Xiao Jun never thought she was capable of.

"If you never meant what you did to me, you will never hurt me! You always think about Riana and I have to tolerate it! Even when you are with me, you ignored me for almost two years and I have to bear it alone!" Qianru's body was trembling with anger as she bit down her lips to prevent her tears from falling down.

While Xiao Jun expression turned unsightly bit by bit with the words from Qianru, now when he thought about it again, he realized how worse he had been treating her.

He always showered her with affection when he had to enter the palace to put on a show in front of the other people, but afterward he would turn his back and left her alone to do his own business.

He had never asked how she was, not even when she fell sick, he was too busy with his own matter and only sent her a physician to look after her, but he had never appeared even to check how she was. In spite of that, she had never uttered a single complain the next time they met as if she wasn't disappointed by his absence.

He had belittled her existence because he thought Qianru would always be there for him, like many years that they had spent in their childhood.

Whenever he turned around he would see her smiling cheerfully at him and that was enough. He forgot that she was a woman with heart.

And now, when Qianru no longer willing to stand beside him and waited for him, he was being agitated. Even Xiao Jun wanted to laugh to himself. He didn't know since when he was being a shallow person.

"I don't want to be your second option whenever you feel down. If you leave me for those plans of yours, don't comeback because I don't want to compete with your ideal or your unrequited love for her!" Qianru shouted at him as she panting because of the rushed of emotion that she felt.

Xiao Jun stood up, pain was written clearly on his face upon hearing Qianru's angry words. "I have never known that you feel that way… and I am sorry for putting you through those hard times." He said sincerely. As a proud prince, he had never begged to anyone, but here he was, begging for her forgiveness.

Probably Xiao Jun had turned insane as he even didn't feel embarrassed to do so. He really wanted her to stop being so cold desperately.

Even if Qianru wanted him to kneel before her, he was willing to do it. Maybe he was crazy, but he had thrown his dignity away at this moment.

"I confused with my feeling because we are always together and I thought that fact will never change…" Xiao Jun continued, but Qianru cut his words.

"We will be together because we are husband and wife." She stated the fact.

Xiao Jun shook his head. "I want you, not because you are my wife, but I loved your previous self."

"Don't start to say that you love me, because you never did and never will." Qianru blurted out those words in mocking tone as she took two steps back to avoid him. "The only meaning of love for you is Riana and I am tired to fight with your memories with her."

Chapter end