The Story of Dusk 220 HE LOST IT...

"He loves her…" Qianru repeated her words. "It was me who had been there for him when he had to go through the most difficult part of his life and support him unconditionally…"

Forgetting all the manner that she had been taught for her whole life, Qianru raised and pressed her legs against her chest as she hugged them tightly and buried her head on her knees.

"I thought that will be enough to win his heart, I thought with time that we spent together, he will look at me the same way he looked at her…" Qianru muttered her words, still there was no tear that escape from her eyes.

Probably the pain had been numbed her or she was no longer knew how to cry.

Qi Xunyi felt his heart was stabbed with sharp blade, he clenched his fist tightly, still struggling to find the right word to say, but actually the only thing that he wanted to do now was to fight Xiao Jun.

He knew Xiao Jun ever since they were disciple in the Mountain Sui Sword Sect and he knew also about Riana, Xiao Jun had never said it out loud that he liked her, but the way he looked at her was different and how he reacted when he was around her.

Qi Xunyi thought, since Riana had gone missing years ago, Xiao Jun had got over her, especially now when he had been married to Qianru.

But… apparently that wasn't the case.

Qianru was a well manner woman, Qi Xunyi had seen her twice in the past, but his affection was merely an adoration. However, when he was this near to her, the gravity of her beautiful soul pulled him to be close to her.

"I have been fooling myself to think that way." There was a self- mockery in her words. "His affection toward me isn't love." She said pitifully.

"He loves you…" Qi Xunyi blurted out the words that he even never meant to say.

Upon hearing that, Qianru shook her head decisively. "No, he is not. He treats me well because we are childhood friend and I am his wife." She said in matter of fact tone. "Recently he treated me very well because I was pregnant with his heir…"

"Qianru, I know it's a dreadful event to lost your baby, but…" Qi Xunyi choked in his words, he knew the next words was merely a word as the physician said the otherwise. "You can have another child…" He finished his words in a whisper.

Qianru raised her head as her dull eyes stared deeply at Qi Xunyi, who was sitting beside her, those beautiful eyes filled with emptiness. "That's not what the physician said that night…" She said it in low voice, but very clear to hear.

The shock on Qi Xunyi's expression crystalized Qianru's statement. It was the truth, but how Qianru knew about that?

"I heard that…" As if Qianru could hear the unspeakable question from Qi Xunyi, she answered it precisely.

Qi Xunyi felt like he lost his ability to speak as he avoided her eyes.

"So, what use of me if I couldn't even give him an heir?" Qianru bit down her lips. "It's all over, whatever between us will end."

"The physician could be wrong…" Qi Xunyi knitted his brows tightly, it would be better if Qianru was crying out loud and vent out all the depression and frustration that she felt.

However, instead of did that, she was talking as if it was someone else story and not her, his callous word and empty eyes were the proof how much it hurt her until she even could not feel anything.

She didn't feel it anymore and accepted it.

She shouldn't do that, shouldn't act that calm… because it bothered Qi Xunyi.

Qianru didn't give any reaction upon his statement as she lowered her eyes. "I think, I give up…" She said with voice that devoid from any emotion.

"What do you mean?!" Qi Xunyi abruptly asked with tone that slightly higher than it supposed to be. "What do you mean with give up?" Many dreadful possibilities crossed his mind as he thought the worse thing that she would do.

There was a dry laugh the moment Qianru saw Qi Xunyi's reaction, a sorrowful laugh. "I think give up on Jun…" She said it more properly this time.

Qi Xunyi was at lost. "But, he is your husband…" He stated the fact and the word felt so weird on the tip of his tongue.

"He deserves someone better…" Qianru buried her head between her knees once again, hiding the pain that was written on her face.

"You are a wonderful Qianru." Qi Xunyi blurted it out without a second thought.

"But, it's still not enough…" She muttered pitifully, even until now, she still not cried as if there was something that held her back. "If I was Riana… in my condition, would Jun still leave me?"

It was a question that kept hunting her since the moment Xiao Jun left her to save his loyal subordinate.

If she was Riana, would Xiao Jun leave his pregnant wife for someone else?

Qianru knew she was being inconsiderate for having that kind of thought, she felt bad because of it and more so she was aware that Xiao Jun left her to save someone life.

But, in the process, she had to lost her baby and had to endure it alone.

There was no guarantee if Xiao Jun was there, she would be fine, but at the very least he was there for her during her tough time, just like she was for him.

Called her selfish, but she couldn't deny the fact that she was disappointed. Truly disappointed by him.

"He…" Qi Xunyi cleared his throat to find reasonable words that he could use to explain the situation, but in all honesty, there was nothing he could explain, Qianru must have known about their current situation. "He went to save someone life…"

He wanted to punch himself for defending Xiao Jun at this moment, he didn't know why he said those words and he felt terrible afterward.

"But, he lost another life…" Qianru finished his words.

Chapter end

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