“I'm looking into the distance…”
The music became louder and louder. Gao Xian slowly opened his eyes. He casually pressed the power button on his phone, and the music stopped abruptly.
Gao Xian turned off the alarm, but he always felt that something was wrong. He took the phone and took a look. When it was turned off, the time was clearly displayed on the screen: eight o'clock sharp.
The date is marked below: Wednesday, August 9th. The seventh day of the seventh lunar month in the lunar calendar.
Everything was normal and nothing was wrong.
For some reason, Gao Xian felt that everything in front of him seemed familiar.
It was as if all this had happened, but he couldn't remember what it was like afterward.
This feeling of déjà vu appeared several times in Gao Xian's life, but it was always fleeting.
He couldn't catch anything, and in the end he could only forget about these wonderful feelings in despair.
Sometimes Gao Xian would think that if he did this while buying lottery tickets, his life would be changed.
Otherwise, this feeling is meaningless. It will only make him doubt the authenticity of life and doubt that he is living in a huge virtual game and is still an insignificant NPC.
He can be full of imagination about the origin of the world, but he must succumb to the most real material law of the world: if he doesn't eat, he will be hungry.
The real pressure of survival is enough to crush all romantic and aesthetic fantasies, as well as all kinds of dreams and hopes.
Gao Xian is almost forty years old and has long given up on these messy ideas. Based on materialist dialectics, he found an explanation for this trance-like feeling of déjà vu.
That is, people's short-term memory and long-term memory are mixed together, which will cause slight confusion in people's consciousness.
Therefore, people will regard everything they see in front of them as part of their long-term memory.
Gao Xian thinks this explanation is very reasonable and scientific. At least it is better than gods and ghosts, and better than messy mysticism.
He prefers clear and reasonable logic to nonsense.
For example, bats symbolize blessing because bat and blessing have the same sound. This kind of homophone is intolerable to him, and it simply challenges his bottom line of IQ.
No matter how much he claims to be rational, Gao Xian will never explain the truth to people who believe in this. It is meaningless.
Maybe the two are somehow related. Who can say for sure... It's none of his business whether others believe him or not. It has nothing to do with him.
Gao Xian just sat up, and all kinds of random thoughts came to his mind, one after another. It is not accurate to say that it is a wild horse, it should be a group of wild monkeys, jumping up and down and chattering, which makes people irritated...
Gao Xian glanced at the bedside table, where he had already pulled out a stack of tissues for spare use, and on the other side of the pillow was a tablet.
I took it over and opened it, and it turned out to be a paused short movie.
He suddenly realized that no wonder he was so empty. But he felt something was wrong after he changed it. He had never used paper before...
After sitting there and thinking for a long time, Gao Xian couldn't remember what he did last night. He could only make sure that he didn't drink, because he didn't have a headache without the smell of alcohol.
It wasn't until he felt uncomfortable holding in his urine that Gao Xian hurried to the bathroom to take care of his personal hygiene.
After washing his face randomly and wiping it with a dark white towel, Gao Xian took a serious look at himself in the mirror.
The hair is a bit long and messy, and you can still see a little bend after being permed and dyed.
His face is a little pale, the bags under his eyes are a little big and a little dark, and his skin has a lot of debris. I don't know if it's dryness or something.
Overall, he looked decent, but he looked obviously depressed. Anyone can tell at a glance that he is a tired middle-aged social creature who has not lived a good life.
If the belly is a little big, the person will look more greasy.
Gao Xian didn't know why, but the more he looked at the person in the mirror, the more displeased he became. He even had strong doubts: Is this really me? So depressed and decadent, yet so ugly!
I always feel like something is wrong!
Gao Xian didn't want to go to work at all. He felt that he needed to think about life.
But he didn't want to take leave, and he would be charged for taking leave. Moreover, the company can also think about life, although it is a bit noisy.
I went downstairs and ate two steamed buns and a bowl of soy milk on the street for eight yuan.
After leaving the community, turn left and you will find the company's location. It rents a shop on the first floor and has more than 20 workstations. It mainly works as a real estate agency. This job is extremely fluid and unstable. Gao Xian has only been here for a few months, and his salary is extremely low. Fortunately, the work intensity is not high, and he can just make a few phone calls and hang out for a day.
As the oldest salesperson in the company, a group of young people are reluctant to talk to Gao Xian.
Gao Xian sat at his desk in the corner, staring blankly at the broken computer screen for the whole day.
When I got off work at eight o'clock in the evening, someone suggested having **** with skewers, so Gao Xian followed suit and had a good time, spending forty-two yuan.
After drinking two glasses of beer, Gao Xian was somewhat drunk. When the elevator stopped on the twentieth floor, he suddenly wanted to go to the top of the building to have a look.
After renting here for several months, he has never been to the rooftop.
In fact, no matter where he rented, he had never been to the rooftop.
His daily work consumed most of his energy and wiped out all his curiosity and desire to explore. Looking back, there is nothing much to say except that I saved some money in the bank.
Gao Xian didn't know why he had this idea, but he just wanted to take a look.
When we got to the top floor and went to the rooftop, we found that it was completely dark.
Several ropes were pulled on several vents, probably for drying clothes, and they almost strangled his neck.
This little accident made Gao Xian a little funny and at the same time he lost interest in the rooftop.
Even though he was here, Gao Xian still came to the wall and took a look. For safety reasons, there are parapets one and a half meters high on all sides of the rooftop.
Gao Xian is more than 80 meters tall and can easily see the scenery outside.
After ten o'clock in the evening, it is the most lively and prosperous time in the city. The streets are filled with constant traffic, the buildings are brightly lit, and the noise reaches the rooftop, making the dark rooftop seem even quieter.
After watching it for a while, Gao Xian felt increasingly uncomfortable. He couldn't explain why, but he just felt lonely and out of tune with the bustling city around him.
This kind of loneliness is difficult to express, and Gao Xian has no one to talk to. He looked at the twenty centimeter wide parapet and suddenly had an impulse to stand up and take a look.
Gao Xian pushed against the wall and jumped up half of his body, but he didn't dare to go up any further. Looking at the brightly lit streets below, he felt dizzy.
The real fear also suppressed the little emotions that were tumbling in his heart.
Just as Gao Xian was thinking about coming down, he heard someone from behind yelling, "Hey, hey, don't jump!"
The man shouted in a panic, but his voice was very sweet.
After Gao Xian came down, he turned around and saw a young woman in cool clothes. He couldn't see clearly what she looked like. In the dimness, he could only see her white thighs.
"Uncle, there is no obstacle in the world that cannot be overcome."
The young woman wanted to comfort Gao Xian, but she couldn't think of anything to say for a moment. She stuttered and said, "As the saying goes, it is better to live than to die."
Gao Xian was a little funny: "It's okay, I didn't want to jump off the building."
Seeing that Gao Xian's mood was quite stable, the young woman breathed a sigh of relief: "That's good. I'm so scared..."
Gao Xian suddenly realized that the young woman was afraid that he would fall to death and turn into a ghost, so she just said so directly, okay?
He thought this woman was quite interesting, so he asked casually: "What are you doing on the rooftop so late?"
The woman patted her back and carried the guitar: "The room is not soundproof, so I came up to practice singing."
"oh oh."
Gao Xian waved his hand: "You are busy, I will go down first."
When he arrived at the door, he couldn't help but turn around and take a look. He saw the woman turn on a fill light, turn on the stand and put the phone away. She played with the strings and said, "Brothers, I just met a wall-climbing guy." Uncle, I thought he was going to jump off the building, I almost peed in fear..."
Under the light, the woman has beautiful features, fresh short hair, shorts and long legs, and is wearing personal flip-flops. Her voice was soft but seemed very relaxed and casual.
The woman's guitar is average and her singing is average. She is full of energy and relaxed, which is quite charming.
Gao Xian watched at the door for a while and felt that he was in a much better mood. When he returned to his room, he wanted to watch a movie to relieve his loneliness, but then he felt a little wretched, so he just went to sleep... (End of Chapter)
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