The Foolhardies 37 Good Advice

However, as I didn't want to be the lone party pooper, I got up from the bench and turned eastward so I could walk the outer field and brood without bothering anyone.

Aura didn't stop me. She must have known that I needed some space.

I couldn't really pinpoint what frustrated me more. That Ty and Arah hadn't spoken to me since the previous night or the fact that they were right and I was just being selfish—because I was. I wanted them far away from the Fayne not just to protect them but so they could protect my sanity too whenever I went home to Mudgard.

While I mulled things over, my feet had taken me far from the glowing lines of the field and deeper into the sea of grass. I stopped and closed my eyes so I could feel the cool wind on my face.

"Leprechaun for your thoughts?" a man's voice asked.

I opened my eyes and found Five-Thousand Man Commander Thors standing beside me.

"Sorry, I called to you but you were so lost in thought that you probably didn't hear me," he said.

I stood to attention before asking, "Sorry, sir... how can I help you?"

He chuckled. It was the first time I'd ever heard him not sound like a decorated military officer. He always seemed so stoic whenever I saw him standing beside Darah.

"Walk with me, Dean," he said before making his way eastward.

I hurried to catch up to him as his strides were much longer than mine. Tall people were annoying like that. After some time, I asked him where we were going.

"Nowhere in particular... Sometimes I just need space to stretch my legs, you know?" he answered.

I nodded. I knew. Being the leader of a unit meant I couldn't really show anyone—not even Luca or Aura—any weaknesses. I didn't want them to think I couldn't handle my own troubles much less lead them on a battlefield.

"So... I noticed the frown on your face a mile away, Dean," Commander Thors stretched his arms to the side like a man limbering up for a run. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing big, sir... just personal stuff," I blurted. I liked Thors, but I wasn't sure I wanted him to know about my business.

"Ah, that's what my daughter says when she and her boyfriend fight," Thors smiled as he gazed at the near distance. His face turned wistful.

"You have a daughter?" I asked.

Thors stopped walking. He pulled out a golden pocket watch from the pocket of his trousers. Then he opened its latch and showed me what was inside.

On one side of the case's interior was a timepiece whose two dials were stuck at twelve. On the opposite side was a picture of a short-haired blonde with features similar to the man standing beside me.

"This is Natalie. My pride and joy," Thors beamed, and I could tell right away that he was one of those doting parents. "She's beautiful isn't she?"

"Um, yeah," I answered awkwardly. I wasn't sure how else to respond to this question.

Thors chuckled softly. "Yeah, my girl's a real beauty. Won't lose to any fairy in her looks or brains."

He cast a sidelong glance at me.

"Well, I guess you would have a different opinion," he said. "Is that why you're blue? You and Aurana have an argument?"

"What?! N-no!" I blurted. "We're not fighting..."

I glanced back at his pocket watch. "That's made of Leprechaun gold right? That's how you could bring your daughter's picture along..."

As I said this, I wondered why I hadn't thought about it first. It was a brilliant idea, encasing something in Leprechaun gold to bring it into the Fayne.

Thors nodded. Then he continued walking without waiting for me.

Once I'd caught up to him, he asked me a question. "The general told me you made a pact with Aurana to save your brother Luca... is that true?"

"Yeah," I answered after a while. "I didn't want him to be alone in this place..."

Thors glanced back to the field that was tiny to us now.

"You and I are similar then..." he whispered. "We both sacrificed ourselves to save the ones we love."

"Um, is your daughter here in the Fayne?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, thank God... No..."

Thors sighed and I could visibly see his shoulders sag.

"Nat and her mom got into an accident a few years ago..." Thor revealed like he didn't mind me knowing his story. He glanced at me when he said, "My wife died... but Nat... she was in a coma. Doctors didn't think she would ever wake up."

There was a moment of awkward silence as I found it difficult to ask a follow-up question in this kind of depressing atmosphere.

"So~~o you sold your soul to the fairies to wake her up?" I asked in an attempt at lightheartedness.

It wasn't just a chuckle this time. Thors genuinely laughed and it was a jolly sound like the kind you hear during a festival.

"I guess you're right," Thors wiped at his eye with the back of his finger. His laughter had driven him to get teary-eyed. "Technically, I sold my soul to Darah so Nat would wake up... I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Yeah... me too," I answered.

I felt it then. The shared bond that formed between us like an invisible thread had extended out from him and connected to me. It was a warm and comforting feeling—and I wondered if this was what the old soldiers spoke of when they talked about fellowship born from war.

"Does Natalie know where you go every night, sir?" I asked.

Thors nodded. "It's just the two of us... I don't want her to get blindsided in case something happens to me while I'm here."

So he knew what I was going through, and maybe he had some sage advice to offer. It wouldn't hurt to ask. Commander Thors was a good guy, after all.

"Sir, I was wondering..." I began. "Does she ever ask you to take her with you?"

"More often than I can count." Thors' brown eyes scanned my face. "I'm sensing we're about to hear what's made you so moody tonight."

I told Thors about my two friends and how they were angry with me for not bringing them along. I told him my all reasons for saying no. Even the one about me using them as my surrogate happy pills.

"Did they hear your entire conversation with Azuma? Even the part where a hundred thousand strong army was marching against us?" he asked.

I was happy that he didn't reprimand me for bothering him with this teenager stuff as most adults do. He didn't dismiss my worries either.

"Yes," I answered. "They definitely heard that..."

"Good job getting that intel by the way," Thors patted me on the back. "Gives us more time to prepare."

Thors looked up at the golden moon hanging up in the sky like a giant flashlight in a canvas of stars.

"You know in all my years in the Fayne that moon has been nothing but full... It is consistent in its desire to light our way," Thors mused.

"Sir?" I asked, confused by his sudden shift of topic.

"This moon," he pointed up to it. "It's constant. Ever-present and never wavering despite the darkness surrounding it. You get it?"

"You mean... the moon is your analogy for my friends?" my brow creased. My eyes squinted as I gazed at the moon. "They're constant... an ever-present and unwavering..."

Thors nodded. "You are smart, Dean... never let anyone tell you otherwise."

I sighed. "People keep telling me that but I don't feel like it tonight... otherwise I'd know how to fix things."
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Thors slapped my back hard, causing me to cough and sputter.

"Don't sigh. Breathe it in. Smell the air and the grass and the earth... Take it all into your lungs in one big breath and expel the negativity from your body," he said. "Come on. Let's do that."

Like a yoga instructor, Thors directed me to stretch my hands sideways and take in a huge gulp of air, and then expel it in one breath. I did this several times while taking in the earthy scent of the ground beneath my feet.

The smell of grass and dirt and the clean air of the Fayne floated up to my nostrils—and as these sensations calmed me, I realized it was the same principle as Luca's breathing exercise to combat his anxiety. Breathing long and deeply delivered more oxygen to my body, relaxing my frayed nerves and calming my mind.

"Your friends didn't run away from you after you told them the truth about the Fayne," Commander Thors said while we continued our breathing exercise. "Maybe all you need to do now is to be honest with them. Tell them your reasons... even the selfish parts. that will let them know that you trust them."

Commander Thors' advice was still on my mind when I woke up on my mattress. It was good advice. Now, I just needed an excuse to get Ty and Arah to talk to me again so I could explain myself.

I sat up on my bed and checked the time. It was six in the morning on a Sunday. I might have to wait until school tomorrow to talk to them.

My bedroom door opened. The smell of roasted coffee drifted in through the crack Aunt Lena made.

"Are you up yet?" she asked.

"Uhuh," I said groggily.

"Well, get decent fast because your friends are here," she said right before she shut the door.

I balled my hands into fists to keep them from shaking. My chest heaved. The sudden pressure of my visitors was getting to me—but then I remembered Commander Thors' advice, and I inhaled a long breath before exhaling it.

"Dispel the bad juju, Dean," I said to myself. "This is not a time to panic. It's a time for action."

Chapter end