The Eccentric, the Beauty, and the Detective: Kiriki Junka's Mystery Log Volume 2 Chapter 7

“Sensei.”

Junka's arm went straight up from his shoulder.

“What is it, Kiriki?”

“Would you mind listening to my opinion?”

Miyako-sensei nodded, though clearly was irritated by him. Perhaps because she was stuck on Yahara's point.

Junka coughed once.

“I can understand that those in the going home club have time, the time to smoke in the classroom early in the morning.”

Yahara listened with an expression of satisfaction. I really didn't like him, but Junka continued on.

“However, had the culprit been in the going home club, there would have been no need to go out of his way to smoke here in this classroom. He could always just smoke at home before coming to school. For him to still come early, a risk in and of itself, just to smoke —and in the classroom no less— would be ludicrous beyond belief.”

Yahara snorted. Miyako-sensei looked lost for a second, before looking at Junka with unclouded eyes.

“So why do you think someone would come here and smoke?”

Junka's response came in a loud voice.

“The culprit's intent was not to smoke, but to frame someone for the crime, Sensei.”

The room fell into silence as Miyako-sensei appeared more and more brutish.

“I see… that makes sense. It'd make it clear why someone would come and smoke right here just to leave. It clearly appears to have been on purpose. Now that you mention it, it does seem to be the case.”

I wanted to smack Yahara over the head and tell him not to underestimate the detective association; I wanted to tell him not to underestimate Kiriki Junka. Miyako-sensei nodded.

“So that means I was playing into the culprit's hands, how careless.”

“No, well, there's still a chance,” Junka rushed a little, “There's still a possibility that someone normally came in here to smoke.”

He was choosing his words carefully.

“Still, though… if, say, the culprit wanted to sew seeds of discord between the students and teachers, he may have left the cigarettes. In that case, it may well be a student from another class. He may be smiling away in his own class at this very moment.”

Miyako-sensei put her head in her hands.

“If that's the case, I can't do a thing. I'll have to hold a meeting after school… okay, all y'all can sit down now.”

I, and the others, all sat down with a collective sigh of relief, though Junka yet stood like a guardian, a grim look frozen on his face. He was directly facing Yahara, who smiled with his chin on his hands.

“Still, Yaharkun, you were the one to mention from the start that it was probably someone from this class, a member of the go home club, no less. Do you still think so?”

Yahara stood without waiting for permission, and pointed at Junka as if to stab him to death with his finger.

“You said that the culprit may have been trying to get someone in trouble, but I don't think that's the case. There are other reasons he may have had.”

Miyako-sensei turned to the sudden discussion between the two students, eyeing it like a referee at a sumo match.

“Which is to say?”

Yahara let his true intentions show, “I'll tell you straight. I think it was you lot in the detective association.”

The room of 1, 3 suddenly filled with a severe chill, a snowstorm out of season, a snowstorm chilled that our hearts. I couldn't keep myself calm as I watched Junka. I prayed he wouldn't lose.

Junka pushed his hair back.

“On what basis?”

Yahara put both hands on his hips.

“What basis? Fine, I'll tell you. Y'all only have four members, and you need five. That's why y'all want cases to solve; so you can have a reason to exist; so you can gain new members. Isn't that what you want, even now?”

“Well, we would appreciate new members, when it comes down to it,” Junka admitted.

That naturally oiled the machine that caused Yahara's tongue to flap.

“I know, right? That's it. That's why you smoked some cigarettes, planted them, and went to Miyako-sensei to solve the case. Only, the culprit was you the whole time. That's why your logic is so unbelievable; that's why you claimed something silly like expanding the pool of suspects beyond this class, to try and draw things out. Then, naturally, you'd get to spout your
propaganda this whole extended homeroom. Isn't that it?”

Naturally, Junka shook his head.

“That's not it. That's all just your conjecture, and you have no evidence.”

Yahara bit at that like a mad dog.

“Evidence? Will you admit it if there's evidence?”

“I won't, since there's nothing to acknowledge.”

Yahara continued his charade.

“Then, I'll show everyone the evidence. Cigarettes are paper, and fragile, so the culprit would have had to carry them in something. There also needs to be a lighter, some hundred yen lighter or something, I don't know, but there must be one.”

He looked around the room, and gave a victorious smile.

“I, Yahara Takao, hereby assert that those two items will be found in either the desk or bag of Kiriki Junka, Suzaku Rouji, or Iida Nao.”

The room was once more astir, and Miyako-sensei turned to us.

“What'll you do? I think Yahara's being fairly reasonable. Would you mind cooperating by showing us the contents of your bags and desks?”

I was livid, was Miyako-sensei Yahara's mouthpiece? Yet, Nao immediately voiced consent.

“That's fine, right Kiriki-kun?”

He nodded.

“It'll be easiest to show our innocence directly. Search away.”

“Then Kayano, Sugimori,” came Miyako-sensei's instructions, “You're near Iida, so check her bag and desk.”

Yahara raised his hand.

“Sensei, if the students checking the bag and desk are too friendly, they might cover up what they find. Let's check it ourselves.”

“What? No way,” Nao recoiled.

“It's to prove your innocence, Iida, put up with it for a bit,” was Miyako-sensei's response.

“Sensei…”

Nao had to hide her disappointment.”

“Fine, go right ahead.”

Nao's words were tinged with bitterness, and her feelings for Miyako-sensei were certainly cooling. Having fallen for Nao, myself, I wanted to be a little happy that my rival had lost some points, but the situation wasn't allowing for that.

Miyako-sensei searched the bag, and Yahara the desk. They found a comb, lipstick, notebooks and writing tools, other notetaking implements, and lined it all up for the class to see.

What was up with the class, it seemed like a witch hunt.

“Nothing.”

Yahara sought confirmation, and Miyako-sensei nodded.

“Okay, you're all clear Iida.”

“Obviously.”

Nao wasn't able to hide her indignation. Miyako-sensei gave a brief apology about doubting her.

“Suzaku's next.”

So it was my turn, eh? Give me a break, everyone aside from Junka, Nao, and my good friends Iwai and Nagayama, were all looking with interest to see if I'd be burned at the stake.

“Go ahead.”

I stepped back and left my bag and desk to the two. Yahara, probably since I was a guy, pulled out my stuff way more disinterestedly and roughly than how he had done for Nao. Miyako-sensei was still being polite, so Yahara's roughness really stood out.

“Manga and games… oi Suzaku, what do you come to school for?”

I was a little embarrassed at Miyako-sensei's scolding.

“We trade these at school. They don't get in the way of studying, so isn't it fine?”

So passed several minutes.

“Nothing.”

“Seems so.”

Having thoroughly inspected my stuff, the two deemed me innocent. It was obvious to me, but I still sighed in relief.

“Kiriki's last.”

Yahara licked his lips like a wolf starved for three days catching his first sight of fresh meat.

“Go ahead.”

While he was waiting, he started writing on the blackboard. By the time he'd written “THE GREAT SPACE WAR OF MY IMAGINATION” more than half the class had shifted focus to Yahara and Miyako-sensei.

Translator's Note:

I'm honestly shocked nobody said anything like “How about the search being conducted by a neutral party instead of a hostile one?” or “How about we search Yahara first?” or “What about pockets?” or “Couldn't they have just left the lighter somewhere to hide the evidence,” or “If the detective association set up the whole thing for publicity, wouldn't they either look bad by being unable to solve it, or look bad by framing someone innocent, therefore making it pointless and stupid to try pulling that off?” or “Aren't you a little too fired up, there, Yahara?” or “But, what about Hinata, isn't she in another class, and therefore the most likely to be able to safely conceal the goods?” or “If Yahara's so smart, why'd he completely forget that Hinata exists? She could have showed up at school less than five minutes early before club, cut the cigarettes down to size, lit them up for just long enough to hide the cut, then stomped them out on the floor.”

Also, if Yahara ends up joining the detective association, I'll be very displeased.

If Junka doesn't call for a last minute pat-down of Yahara, I'm guessing he'll bust out ye olde fingerprinting kit.

Editor's Note:

At least I can watch a documentary or something while formatting this stuff mindlessly. Filler comment to be removed by editor.

Chapter end