The Eccentric, the Beauty, and the Detective: Kiriki Junka's Mystery Log Volume 1 Chapter 8

Pre-chapter Eccentricities:

Golgo Matsumoto: an actor, and comedian. (If you’re curious enough to watch him make kanji puns in an inspirational speech)

Hyottoko is a Japanese comic character:

Golden Week is a series of consecutive holidays in early May that is a very popular time for vacationing in Japan. As basically everybody has time off, it’s much more socially acceptable to travel then instead of disappearing in the middle of work-season.

That was when some familiar faces came walking by, along with a venomous call.

“Oh, it’s you!”

They were the two second years who had cornered Hatanaksensei with the tears of blood: the braided Yamagishi-sempai, and the sharp-eyed Umitou-senpai.

Junka greeted them politely, “My, my, good day to you.”

“Heh, what’s good about it?”

Umitou-senpai seemed to think Junka’s beautiful visage was as worthless as flatulence, and was as prickly as if she had transformed into a hedgehog.

“I won’t forget how you humiliated me. One day I’ll get you back. Remember that.”

Junka handled it well, “I have a policy of forgetting useless things right away, so…”

“What was that?”

The timid Yamagishi-senpai held Umitou-sempai back.

“That’s enough. Let’s go Chihiro-chan.”

“Hmph…”

Glaring angrily at Junka over her shoulder, Umitou-senpai stomped away.

I had a thought.

“Could she be the one breaking the chalk?”

Junka ignored me and brought a Devilman DVD back out of his bag.

“A great achievement of humanity, a collection of wisdom, all this in one movie. You’re missing out by not watching it.”

“It’s a waste of time.”

We lazed around for the rest of the break.

The following Thursday had cloudy skies, and our second period PE class was threatened by rain. I got along well with Iwai, and we paired up for stretches. Junka was with the PE teacher as he didn’t have any friends other than myself. Despite our intense game of soccer, rain began to soak the campus, so Iwasaki-sensei quickly rounded up the class. The girls seemed to be doing basketball or something in the gym, so it would probably be a little while before they returned.

“First, let’s check the chalk, Rouji-kun.”

Junka separated from the boys heading to the change room and took me by the arm to 1, 3.

“Oi, what’re you doing? If you’re curious just go by yourself.”

I complained in irritation, but Junka pressed on with a stoic expression. He was still concerned over yesterday morning’s matter, as I suspected.

We arrived at the dark classroom. Obviously, nobody was there. Switching on the fluorescent lights, Junka leapt straight away for the chalk dust catcher.

“Hah, as I thought. Broken,” Junka announced, clearly displeased.

Moving to confirm it myself, I saw that the long, white chalk —Miyako-sensei’s favourite— was brutally snapped in two.

“It wasn’t broken when she taught Mathematics A in first block.”

“Yes, it does appear that the culprit is targeting Miyako-sensei’s chalk. It seems to happen when nobody is in the class: early morning, after school, or when we’re all out for PE. It drives Miyako-sensei into a rage when she finds out in morning and evening homeroom. That’s how it has occurred up until now.”

“Why would the culprit do this? Some grudge against Miyako-sensei? The method is pretty janky.”

“That’s true, I’d say…” Junka lowered his voice, “That’s odd. The chalk is wrapped in thin plastic to avoid making our hands dirty, but…”

“What? Did the wrapping come off?”

“No, it’s the opposite. Even though she wrote with it in first block Mathematics A, peeling it back, this one’s brand new. The wrapping that should have been removed has been replaced.”

Junka tilted his head.

“What could it mean? No, wait, the break…”

He drew his face close to the split in the chalk. After examining it for a short while, he placed it back in the dust catcher and carefully searched the floor beneath the blackboard. I had no idea what he was doing.

“So what’s the matter?”

“I’m looking for something. Can you give me a moment?”

When he came to where I was standing, I stepped back.

“Have you noticed something on the floor?”

After looking around a little more, he shook his head.

“There’s nothing.”

I sighed.

“Oi oi, so there wasn’t any point? Why am I even here?”

That was when the other boys returned from changing. I met eyes with the fox-eyed Yahara.

“Why are you here without changing? Could you…”

Checking the chalk in the dust catcher, Yahara shouted, “It was you two! Are you the ones breaking the chalk? It has to be!”

The eyes of our classmates all turned to Junka and me. Things took a bad turn, or so I thought, but Iwai smacked Yahara in the head.

“What are you saying, you bastard? Like Suzaku would do that!”

Nagayama agreed.

“That’s right.”

They were friends it was best to keep. Having the tables turned on him, holding his head, Yahara rounded on Junka.

“Then it was Kiriki over there.”

I spoke clearly, “Junka didn’t do a thing. When we came here, the chalk was already broken.”

“That’s right!”

Junka placed a hand on my shoulder, and patted my cheek with the other.

That’s way over-familiar.

I pushed his irritating face away. That was when I realised it. Junka had brought me along as a witness with friends to prove he wasn’t the culprit.

Yahara spoke in irritation, “Hmph, now that you mention it, you two are in the detective association, or whatever it is. Were you trying to catch the culprit?”

Junka puckered his lips and crossed his eyes like a hyottoko, and shouted “destiny!” in a pose like Golgo Matsumoto. Naturally, there was no meaning behind it. Compared to the obviously irate Yahara, Junka was able to change the atmosphere rather quickly. He showed backbone about something stupid.

“Basically, that’s the idea. Well, the detective association will handle the case because we understand many human subtleties and griefs. Since it’s interesting. I bet I’ll see a new interesting side to humanity by solving this case.”

That was about when the girls returned from changing back into their uniforms.

The afternoon homeroom saw Miyako-sensei indignant about the broken chalk once more; broken just as they had been when we checked after PE. She vowed to absolutely catch the culprit, breathing heavily through her nose as she got a new piece of chalk from her desk.

I got a little impatient as golden week approached. I couldn’t care less about a case of broken chalk or broken anything. What bothered me was Junka being unjustly resented. Well, if I said I had no interest at all, it’d be a lie…

I wondered if I could get closer to Iida Nao before the springtime consecutive holidays. That was all my narrow mind could focus on. If I confessed successfully and we became a couple, we’d be able to spend the holidays together. Imagining such a rose coloured future, my chest was so filled with emotion to the point that I wanted to cry out.

I hardened my tragic determination to confess to Nao before golden week. At lunch on the Monday of a new week, I stood, pressing my back, in pleasant weather, the likes of which hadn’t been seen for a while.

“What’s up, Rouji-kun?” Junka asked as he shoveled fried rice from his bentou into his mouth.

Not replying, I approached Nao, who was eating bread with the other girls. Noticing my approach, all the girls simultaneously turned to face me.

“Suzaku-kun?”

My ears turned red in the face of Nao’s beauty. Calm down, me. I don’t have to confess anything right here.

“Iidsan, I have something to talk to you about after school.”

She blinked.

“Something to talk about?”

I put my sweaty palms into my pockets.

“It’s no big deal. Can you spare some time?”

“Yeah, sure. After school, right?”

Nao’s surrounding friends watched our exchange with great interest. When I went back to sit beside Junka, the girls started whispering something quietly. Damn, are they making fun of me?

Junka spoke quietly with a sidelong glance, “I hope it goes well. Your after school confession.”

I tried to get a hold of my heart.

“What, so it has to be a confession?”

Junka drank some tea from a plastic bottle, raised himself up, and whispered into my ear, “Isn’t that it, though? Weren’t you staring at her all the time in class like a dog in heat? I won’t believe you haven’t fallen for her.”

This bastard was watching me, eh?

“Well, do your best. I’m rooting for you.”

With a grin and a snicker, Junka returned to his seat and his meal.

Translator's Note:

I keep typing senpai as sempai. Google doesn't recognise senpai without the n. I guess I'll just get used to it, since senpai looks better anyway.

Editor’s Note:

Ah! The springtime of youth~~ With heated gazes, heart broken girls and boys and lots of suffering in general, oh and I suppose a few happy moments in between.

Chapter end