The Eccentric, the Beauty, and the Detective: Kiriki Junka's Mystery Log Volume 1 Chapter 5

“Some kind of splinter is stuck beneath the eyes. What could it be?”

He traced it for a second with his finger. Suddenly, both eyes shone mischievously.

“Have we found the culprit, Haraheraisuto?”

After he spoke, Junka attentively inspected the red tracks.

“Certainly, this blood seems to have come from the eyes. With a horrible stench. Human's this is… not. Pig’s blood? Hmmmm, I see.”

Suddenly uninterested in the portrait, he turned to the cloth.

“It seems something is left behind, but… no good, there’s too many remnants from other things. Now then… the step ladder.”

Hatanaksensei shook her head.

“I’ve already given it back to the janitor. Do you need it?”

“No, no need. We just won’t be able to replace the painting to such a high place without one. That, or…”

Junka thought to himself, and I couldn’t bear with it, so I spoke.

“You’ve been having fun by yourself for a while now, Junka. Tell us if you’ve figured anything out.”

“This is all an assumption, though. It’s nothing to publicly announce. Besides, if you want an explanation, join the detective association. By the way, Sensei, are you going to practice piano tomorrow morning?”

Hatanaksensei was flustered, “I’d like to maintain my schedule, but… with the circumstances now… I won’t be able to go alone…”

“We can accompany you.”

We? I scowled as I approached.

“That’s your choice, asshole. I’m bad with mornings! Even if I wasn’t I’d never stick my head in such a creepy place.”

“Aren’t you already in fairly deep? You’re eating poison, so you might as well finish your plate, Rouji-kun.”

“I would also appreciate it, Suzaku-kun,” Hatanaksensei petitioned, “Just one more would be really reassuring.”

I curbed my urge to refuse with a deep breath.

“Alright, okay. I don’t know if I can get up, but I’ll be here right away.”

The clouds had cleared the following day, and the weather was splendid. I had already prepared for the time Junka had decided upon. I’d gone to bed early the night before, but the effects only seemed superficial. I waited at the entrance for Junka to appear, but he did not. When I went to his house, and rang his intercom, I was greeted after some time by a tired and disheartened, familiar voice.

“Hello, you’ve reached customer service.”

Did you think that would fool me?

“Why are you trying to mess around and run away when you invited me? Hurry up and get going.”

“Oh, it’s Rouji-kun. Oh yeah, that’s it. Hatanaksensei, right? Just wait a bit.”

He finally came down five minutes later.

“Thanks for waiting. The fare’s 730 yen.”

Are you a taxi?

We went to school amid the patches of snow that remained in the morning.

We met with Hatanaksensei in the staff room. It seemed like she really was too afraid to go into the music room alone.

As we walked through the halls, Junka turned to Hatanaksensei and asked, “Can you think of anybody that might have a grudge against you?”

She seemed surprised by the question.

“No, that’s… I treasure my relations with staff and students, and I don’t intend on excluding anybody. I don’t say anything bad about anyone, so I shouldn’t be disliked by anybody…”

Junka placed a finger to his lips, shushing us.

Want us to be quiet, eh?

We stood still and listened carefully. The sound of a disembodied trumpet could be heard. Other instruments, too. It was quite the performance.

“Do you know what this is, Miss?”

“Isn’t it the wind-instrument section? They take their instruments home and practice at school early in the morning. They don’t have morning practice, so they have to do it on their own. Not only today, it’s fairly regular.”

“Then it must be them.”

“What do you mean, ‘then’?” I asked.

“Sensei,” Junka ignored me and spoke to Hatanaksensei instead, “Please head to the music room first, and wait there. Oh, don’t worry, the weeping painting isn’t there. I doubt Chopin will cry again. I have a little business to attend to with Rouji-kun. Now then…”

I was pulled away by the arm, leaving her behind.

“Oi, oi, where are we going?”

“To the source of the sound.”

Junka was unusually serious.

“Seriously… those guys have gone too far.”

Not going to the third floor with the music room, we went to the empty classroom below it on the second floor. A trumpet and another instrument sounded loudly. Junka threw open the sliding door rather disrespectfully. Two girls sat practicing in their seats, and stopped upon the sudden intrusion.

Junka’s voie resounded in the silenced room.

“Not ‘those guys’ but ‘those girls,’ eh?  What year are you?”

“We’re second years,” answered a very plain girl with braided hair.

“Upperclassmen, then. I shall be polite. Would you two be the culprits behind the tears of blood our Chopin shed?”

The two looked petrified. I couldn’t keep up with the rapid development. The one with sharp eyes almost fell from her chair, but quickly regained her ballance. The braided one could not close her mouth.

“How did you know?”

“Idiot!” sharp-eyes rebuked braids.

Perhaps the initial shock had worn off, or perhaps she had regained her composure, but sharp-eyes adjusted her position in her chair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you, anyway?”

Seeing I was no less surprised than the two, Junka introduced himself, “Kiriki Junka of class 1, 3. This is my assistant Suzaki Rouji-kun. You are?”

Braids looked desperate, though she had stopped herself from trembling.

“I, I’m Yamagishi Ayano. I’m the head of the trumpet section.”

Sharp-eyes was next, “Umitou Chiharu. Oboe. Kiriki, right? What’s with you two? Talking about Chopin.”

“Please don’t play dumb, Yamagishi Ayano has already acknowledged it.”

Junka then began his explanation.

“You two secretly took the key and entered the music room yesterday at 6:00am, did you not? Your objective was to cause Chopin’s portrait to weep blood. With instant glue, and wafer fragments, you took pig’s blood —likely hand-squeezed from pork, and kept in a plastic bag— and one of you got atop the other’s shoulders to modify the painting. Then you placed some frozen blood above it, wiping away the already melted drops with a handkerchief. That’s how you completed the prank, and innocently returned the key, is that not correct?”

Yamagishi-senpai looked at Junka and Umitou-senpai with tears in her eyes. Umitou-senpai had both arms crossed, and glared indignantly at Junka, who simply continued.

“Hatanaksensei entered the room as the blood thawed. The wafers did their best to hold up the ice. It was cold enough to snow outside, after all. Miss Hatanaka hadn’t noticed due to being engrossed in her piano practice. The melt likely caused the wafers to become soggy, and then began to drip, hitting the floor by the time she took a break. That was when she noticed it. She then got a step-ladder by herself and removed the painting. In her flustered state, she likely hadn’t noticed the dissolved wafers that had fallen to the floor with the blood when she wiped it up. Is that about right?”

Translator's Note:

Looks like the author left us a little hint in Junka’s actions before the mystery. I hope Junka’s deductions are reasonable, and he wasn’t just jumping to conclusions about the wind-section trying to scare Miss Hatanaka out of their turf, or something stupid like I could come up with given 0 prep, and not even knowing the trick, or anything. I think it’d be better for it to just be a regular prank with no special motivation. How many tears could you even get out of some shaved, pig-blood-ice over some tiny wafer fragments anyway? It’d have to be a small enough amount to not feel stupid, even if people are actually unlikely to notice a full wafer they aren’t looking for, the ones setting it up wouldn’t have access to that ‘not-paying-attention’ blindness, and would likely try to minimize how obvious the whole setup was. Or maybe they went all in on hoping Miss Hatanaka never looked up. Who knows.

Editor’s Note:

I wonder if junka classifies as a B or a C person given how hard it was for him to get up in the morning, then again, at least he has a bit of imagination in replying to our "Watson".

Chapter end