The Eccentric, the Beauty, and the Detective: Kiriki Junka's Mystery Log Volume 1 Chapter 26

Pre-chapter Eccentricities:

PSPgo: a SONY PSP model.

Dogeza: Bowing to the floor on hands and knees.

I would have put photos, but wordpress sucks, and I can’t even copy-paste into it easily anymore.

“Koshi-kun is a member of the silver shadow gang, and had support from Minakawkun. He also knew that Minakawkun was taking money from Mashimkun and Kaharkun. Koshi-kun therefore believed that the two were small fries far, far weaker than himself, and personally saw to bullying Mashimkun from what I’ve heard. Then he called the two to the aerial walkway and tried to blackmail them,” Junka rattled off his reasoning, “That wasn’t good. Firstly, Koshi-kun’s Takada Satoshi awoke, and then Mashimkun’s Takada Satoshi was provoked. Nothing was different in their surroundings, but they both became their secondary personalities forged in unfortunate circumstances: Takada Satoshi. The two had become close in middle school, and probably subconsciously grew closer even as fellow people with split personalities. Hence their simultaneous transformation. The two who were close enough to be called one, when the same Takada Satoshi personality awoke, decided they really were one Takada Satoshi. Then came their use of eight limbs —totally possible for two of them— to complete their singular Takada Satoshi. The two of them caught Koshi-kun unawares and with incredible cooperation managed to defenestrate him just like Takada Satoshi had thrown the producer into the pond. They then retreated away through the old school building to avoid being seen, when their other personalities retreated.”

While we were still stupefied, Junka thumped his chest.

“That’s the full story.”

Mashima and Kahara didn’t show any signs of being a single Takada Satoshi given their usual cowardice and faintheartedness. They were discussing what to do with Minakawa as if they were sharing a chat over a cup of tea.

“What to do? I can’t think of anything other than killing this fool.”

“I wonder. His persistently stealing money to fatten Ryouji’s wallet was apparently a misunderstanding.”

“What do you think, Minakawa, you rat? What should be done?”
Minakawa’s face was terrified and wet with tears as he’d been dragged out sideways.

“L-let me off… I’m bad with heights. I’ll die if I fall from here. I’m sorry, so forgive me. At least my life…”

Takada Satoshi laughed loudly.

“You apologise for your bullying when pulled out with force. What a stupid expression.”

“If you’ll just bully someone else in the next world, you’ll be bullied to death here.”
Mashima scaled the fence and stood next to Kahara on the other side of Minakawa. He placed his hand on Minakawa’s back. Shit, he’s going to shove him!

“Desist!” shouted Junka.

He stripped down to his boxers, and drew a hyottoko on his then exposed stomach with a permanent marker. He then, both arms raised like a ballerina, advanced upon the three in a graceful step.

It was so stupid that Takada Satoshi and Minakawa were completely dumbfounded. Having climbed over to the other side of the fence, assailed by an intense fatigue, he suddenly dropped to one knee. He was drenched in sweat, and his shoulders were heaving. Was it really that difficult?

Standing, he held out an empty can to the three of them.

“It’ll be 2000 yen for watching.”

That was clearly overpriced.

He then appealed to them while pointlessly half-naked, “Stop it you two. It won’t end with just a fracture this time. If you throw him, he’ll certainly die. Can you not simply forgive him already, not even for the face on my stomach?”

Nobody would want to do anything for the sake of that.

Spake Takada Satoshi, “You made sure to ask about Ryouji. Just who are you?”

Junka puffed up his chest.

“I am the chairman of the detective association, Kiriki Junka. I developed the Playstation Portable Go.”

No you didn’t. And don’t suddenly bring up any of Sony’s dark history.

“Takada Satoshi-kun, if you kill Minakawa, Mashimkun and Kaharkun will be unable to escape their sin. Do you want to send those two who are living as best as they can to a reformation school? Is that really what you want?”

Junka made his case calmly, while Minakawa’s teeth chattered as he begged for his life, “I won’t be violent or extort people anymore. Plese! Please!”

All eyes on the roof were focused on even the slightest movements from Junka and the others. Reticence and silence were all that filled the air; a strained tension.
In response, as if to destroy it, Takada Satoshi raised his voice while relaxing his shoulders.

“It can’t be helped. I’ll overlook you.”

“I suppose it can’t be helped.”

Takada Satoshi threw Minakawa back over the fence. His back slammed into the roof. He frothed a little at the mouth either in relief or because he had fainted. Takada Satoshi came back one after the other.

Junka gave voice to his gratitude, “Thank you, Takada Satoshi-kun. I am in your debt. Why listen, though?”

“No particular reason, just that you have clear vision. That’s all.”

Takada Satoshi smiled.

“Ryouji seems to have a good, and careful friend. Now then, we shall retreat. I’ll leave the rest to you.”

Mashima and Kahara then came to. They had retreated deep within Takada Satoshi in a panic, but once they confirmed they had regained themselves, they hurried and dogezad before Junka. It looked like they had the memories from Takada Satoshi.

“I’m sorry! Just a little longer and I’d have killed Minakawkun… Thank you for stopping me!”

Junka took a calm and composed stance right there in his boxers.

“No it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Worry about how you’re dressed.

As the conversation seemed about to continue, the teachers burst onto the roof, giving sighs of relief when they confirmed the situation was under control.

“The key points of this incident are:” Junka waggled his finger like a cram-school instructor on the way home from school, “There were some troublesome split personalities in multiple people, and what’s more, they both went by the name of Takada Satoshi. That really threw off my deductions, resulting in a stormy investigation, but we were saved by the Takada Satoshi from My Note. If it hadn’t been for his talk, we’d never had followed the case right down to the truth.”

Retracting his finger, he indulged in his meditation, continuing his monologue, “But still, why do people bully and harass other people? Forcing others down to raise your relative status, even if you find pleasure in it yourself, could really go either way: raising or lowering your reputation. Why don’t people realise something so simple?”

“Probably because we can’t see ourselves objectively,” I muttered, “They don’t notice they’re cowards for targeting the weak… People like Koshi and Minakawa.”

Junka looked up.

“Hm? You say something?”

“Nah, nothing much.”

Junka didn’t pay me any mind.

“For now, I can say I’m relieved that the most difficult case since the founding of our detective association has been settled safely. Do you have any questions about it?”

I wracked my brain. I felt the light of the dusky sky both comforting people and chasing them away.

“Let’s see… It isn’t super related, but was Kagaya Manami-san there?”

“Yeah, she’s the one who saw Aoyagi-sensei fight Minakawkun from the entrance to the aerial walkway with Kaharkun.”

Junka had replied smoothly, and I wondered just how good his memory was.

“Yeah, Kagatani-san. Seems like she was looking for somewhere to eat with Kahara… even though Kahara and Mashima are basically one, she wanted to eat with just Kahara, right? So she thought it’d be preferable to eat with him rather than Mashima, even though Mashima’s more interesting?”

Junka seemed to be making fun of me, “While Mashimkun and Kaharkun have been together since middle school, really becoming as one, I wouldn’t expect any less from puberty. He might not look popular, but I’m sure he’s at the age where he wants to play with the girls. Not just Kaharkun, either, I’ll wager Mashimkun as well. I’m sure he’ll get a girlfriend sooner or later, too. That’s how people part and meet and continue the cycle. It’s just an illusion to think you’ll be together forever, an illusion.”

That was pretty severe. Parting, meating, and continuing the cycle, eh?

“I have something to say.”

My father, mother, elder brother, and myself all gathered together in a total assembly of the Suzaku house at the dinner table, and were about to eat when I had spoken.
I’m sure she already knew what it was about, but my mother still asked, “What’s this about?”

“It’s about whether I’ll live with mum or dad.”

The pressure mounted in the nervous silence.

My father leaned forward, “So, what’ll you do? Your mother, or me?”

I gave my careful response to the heavy question, “I’ll live with mother.”

In an instant, the scene had turned to the rending of a family; not something to be shown to anyone, but my brother was the first to respond.

“What’s the reason?”

I took a gulp of water.

“Well, I wanted to go with you and dad at first, but that’d leave mother all by herself. I figured that’d be too cruel.”

My mother shook her head.

“I wouldn’t mind either way…”

My father would soon part with my mother. Kahara would some day part with Mashima. The world would continue on, and so I would part with my father and brother.

Also…

“Also, if I left here, I’d have to part with the friends I just made. I don’t want to do that.”

The faces of Junka, Nao, and Hinata floated through my mind, followed by Iwai and Nagayama.

“Finally, I’m not all that dissatisfied with what’s happening. It isn’t like we’re parting forever. As long as we’re alive, no matter how far we are, we can still meet. Family isn’t something that can be bought with money. I’m sure we’ll eat again like this once more. Isn’t that right?”

Translator's Note:

I'm a bit all over the place with how to refer to Rouji's parents. He's not a super formal guy, but his reference to them seems on the formal side to me, which is odd. There's also the fact that I don't speak the same version of Japanese as Rouji, so I'm not super confidant about how to translate it.

Editor’s Note:

Filler. I would like to say I hate wordpress with a burning passion, but I don’t. It’s a minor inconvenience overall, and I simply don’t like formatting here.

Hence the whole accidentally posting a filler thing, since I’d put off the not-labourous-but-infuriating task of copying the chapter to another window, and then recopying it from there into the wordpress and then manually adding all the paragraph breaks. There’s probably a better way to do this, but I avoid this so much I don’t spend enough time trying to figure it out.

Chapter end