Surviving In My Novel 43 Resolution

From an objective perspective, that is how life has always been, breeding and dying. Nothing else has any function to this cycle, there is no such thing as a plot that one can follow, there is only an unclear branch of opportunities that lead to one of two ends. Those ends are life and death. But why is there any purpose when plot is but a script in a fiction and life is a blind coin? A plot means destiny, and a destiny means chains, so why be chained?

The result is a plotless story of a sickly protagonist that only wants to live an enjoyable life. Such is Simon, a man that lives a plotless life that revolves around a plot he created.

***

Simon laid on a sturdy wall as he reviewed his actions from barely an hour ago. He contemplated his apparent ruthlessness and capability to kill on such little temptation.

From the deep recesses of his mind, he knew that his mental strength was incomparable to what he described his characters as. He felt weak, even when he was strong. He already knew that his mentality would be one of the things that would restrict his growth in the long run, and he did not know how to deal with this matter.

He can act cool and kill, but could he step back and be passive? Well, intelligence does not equal wisdom.

He also had another question.

"What is the point in this plot?"

"I become strong in such a small amount of time, I become important in such a small amount of time, but what is the point? This is stupid. This doesn't make any sense! If I wanted to star in a wish fulfilment story, I at the very least want an antagonist that I can contend against. I don't want demons that know nothing, devils that barely care. In the end, this shit will end with me dying fighting some piece of sh*t for no reason!"

"What is the damn point!"

'Xander, you don't understand! I am confused as f**k! And I don't even know why half of this is happening anymore!'

'This isn't a plot, this is a clusterf**k of storytelling. I have a protagonist that can't even protect himself, the female lead hates him, I am way too overpowered, and what is happening in the background is stupid!'

'Who just appoints someone as a lord when they haven't even met? And why doesn't everyone just take pills to become godmode? Don't you think there is something wrong? I worked so damn hard to build a plot only to realise that when my intellect gets higher, so does my disgust for this novel world!'

<...>

'This isn't just a mood swing too! I am on to something, this is just pure bullsh*t!'

Simon felt a sharp sting in his heart unlike any pain he had ever felt. This was because this wasn't pain of the nerves, but pain of the soul.

'I understand. But as an author, it is hard to adjust to a world with no plot.'

'I am this strong, I can thrive with no worries. There isn't any more need for me to get stronger.'

Simon looked to the broken down roof of the building he was encamped in, watching as some rain fell on him.

'I think I am done with this. I want to actually put effort into my life. I don't want to be strong from the start, I'd rather have the opportunity to become strong.'

Clenching his fist, he shouted "SEND ME SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN GROW!"

<*sigh*>

'You can do that, I am not needed.'

'Just do this one favour for me. Leave me the Peter White identity ring, I need it for later.'

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'Thanks.'

***

"Who knows what was going through my head when I made such a random decision back then. Maybe it was the pills? Perhaps the chaos of that month? Or even my stupid personality? Who knows? I was just a harem author."

"It turned out for the better."