She's That Knight Known as Zero 294 I Was Lying That I Was Fine

He only know that she had stayed in her room after what happened, but also thinks that she must only be in confusion.

He smiled bitterly as he started remembering the times that the two of them were together, he had fallen for her without him realizing it. 

When Nana pointed it out to him, he was still confused but his worry over her made it even more visible. He realized everything that at times he wished he didn't.

When she disappeared, he actually wished he had forgotten her instead. The reason why he was fine all those times was because he wasn't thinking about her at all. He was focusing in his life and his duties.

The day after the war when he woke up, in reality he had cried. When no one knows, no one was around to see it. He had cried because his memories were intact. He knew she had chosen the other choice, she had chosen to forget about everything.

And now she had returned, seeing how peaceful and calm she looks. He could no longer do anything. He then laughed, to think that they had even given him the choice of whether to make her remember or not. 

After a while, he heard footsteps coming closer. When he looked back he was shocked to see that it was Eureka. Just how much more does time wants him to suffer? All he wanted to do was to have some time alone. Why does Eureka have to be here?

Once she was close, he started walking away.

"Why aren't you facing me properly?" he then heard her voice, it was still the same as when she returned.

"What do you mean by that? Why must I face you? If you want to look for friends, you can go and approach Feena and the others," he replied before walking away.

"About the memories-"

"Everything was already said, there is no point in asking me about it," he didn't let her finish and brushed her off just like that.

Eureka shook her head, really he didn't let her finish at all.

When he was quite far already, he once again heard her voice, "RAVEN."

This urged him to look back at her, there she was so close at the edge her back facing the cliff.

"Can I swim?"

He furrowed his brows, "Shouldn't you be the one who knows the reason for that? Have you forgotten about the pool incident?"

Without speaking another word, she smiled before jumping backwards. The momentum allowed her to fall without hitting any stones or rocks that are potruded.

Raven's eyes grew wide, his body moved first while his mind was blank. He run fast but seeing as he wouldn't be able to hold her before she falls, he could only jump after her.

Eureka seeing him jumped after her, closed her eyes with a smile on her lips before the water welcomed her.

Raven who plunged in not long after was able to find her easily, especially since the weather was good today and the waves are a lot calmer than before.

Upon arriving by the shore, he had no other choice but to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation. He did this a few times before she finally coughed out the water.

He stared at her, his eyes were glaring at her and it was filled with anger. Without speaking he stood up and started walking away once again. His heart filled with fear, why does she have to do that? Why did she suddenly had the urge to try if she can swim? Why does it have to be in the cli-

He slowly looked back at her. Some ideas popped up in his mind, something he didn't want to entertain. She, on the other hand, was already standing up, facing the ocean.

She knew he would realize something with what she had just done.

"I had a very bad childhood, it was purely painful. Even after I was returned to my family, it was still painful. No one knows me after all, imagine, you have an idea of who they were but in the end you are nothing but a stranger to them."

"You have to do everything not just 100 percent but 300 percent, you have to push yourself to the limit just so you could climb up and be with them."

She looked at him, her eyes no longer the calm one he had been seeing after she had returned. It already had the ripples that she had back when she was starting to open up to everyone.

"Who said that I was completely fine back then? Who said that I couldn't lie? I was lying, I was lying that I was fine without being with them. Zu and Ao have instilled it to me after all, that my family was here and that they are waiting for me. Yet the hope that I had was crashed upon finding out that no one knows me."

"Do you get it now Raven? The reason why I chose what I chose? Cause just as two is better than one, many is much much better than one. I wanted all of you to remind me of who I am. I know I was selfish but I no longer wanted to be alone in a sea of familiar faces."

She then shook her head, "But in the end, I also have an idea that you might choose not to make me remember. So I left another clue for myself."

Raven looked at her, understanding full well that she had remembered everything already. He was mad at first, he was angry. But to live in a world where no one remembers you, that even if you return to them they won't be able to know who you are.

'I'm also a human.'

That was way way back in the past, but it suddenly rung in his mind. Her words and her look, somehow it overlapped with how pained she looked right now. She was not mad or was she blaming them for their choices, she was just pained.

"Am I too selfish for wishing that all of you would make me remember? No I know I was really selfish, I was so selfish all along," she looked at him, her eyes full of emotions.

Raven looked away in agitation, he didn't want to say anything at all. The cruelty of having to allow the person you love to forget about you and let them live in ignorance. It was still clear to him.

Eureka laughed bitterly as she walked close to him, "I have no idea, how I am supposed to get you to forgive me. I even thought of staying away from you but I can't. I no longer wanted to hold back."

"I am a selfish person after all. I will use it to the fullest even if you are too mad at me."

Raven didn't expect to hear such words from her as he look down and his eyes was staring straight to her own.

"I was in a coma, I was in a coma for almost 5 years."

She didn't say this to Akihiro and Haruka for they easily forgave her but seeing Raven's reaction she needed to explain to him the reason why it took her so long.

"The move, I mean Reset could have taken away my life. But I was saved yet ended up in a coma. For so many times I would see different lights, some are dim some are bright. Those lights were calling for me."

"There are times when I am about to reach out and touch it, they would suddenly disappear leaving me disappointed. For so long I kept running after those lights. Over and over again."

She saw how Raven's emotions were changing through his eyes.

"It's not that I didn't try hard but that it was not that easy. But I was holding unto the promise I made. The promise to return."

"I admit when I made that promise I was also referring to a time that may not be in this time line. I lied but still a future where all of us are reborn was what was on my mind."

Raven gritted his teeth upon hearing this, his hands were also clenched.

"But let me tell you, upon my consciousness returning, all I did was to try and return. I wasn't even aware at first that I was in a coma. I only realized it when I found out that I have all my mermories were intact."

"I am selfish I kept telling you that, but no matter what I still wanted to withhold the promise I left when I found out that I still have the chance."

"Then why? Why didn't you just leave the letter to us? Or left a letter to tell us to make you remember everything from the very beginning?" Raven finally spoke but his voice was filled with agitation.

Chapter end