She's That Knight Known as Zero 105 I Am A Human Too

"Let's go to my room," Eureka sighed before saying.

"Can you watch over the place for a but Azusa?" she then asked to the confused Azusa who just came home.

"I don't mind, go on," she replied before walking down the basement. It seems that whatever they are going to talk about is the same as the questions that are running on her mind. But seeing as Eureka asked her to watch over, it only means that Eureka couldn't tell her yet. And she shall wait, wait with the others.

After closing the door behind him.

"What the hell was that? You obviously are not a zero to know about that. Do you really love keeping us in the dark? Do you really love surprising us so much that we would suddenly find ourselves entangled in your plans? You could have at least given us a heads up that would be facing a consciousness that no one in our world knew existed. Even I could no longer sit still and just watch."

He paused before continuing, "Are you actually playing with us?"

Her plans are well thought, she might have come from the future but she could have at least given them a hint that whatever she is teaching them will be used in their training far ahead. Then maybe they would have been much more prepared.

"Raven," Eureka finally spoke. Her back facing him.

"Please don't try to dodge again. I'm getting tired of this push pull arrangement of yours. When we thought you're getting closer to us, you would suddenly dash away from us. When we thought you have left us, you would suddenly appear and save us. It's already tiring," Raven said.

"Do you think I'm enjoying this? Do you think I myself, am not tired? Do you think I am someone who would play with other people?" was her first words after waiting for him to finish. To be honest, these are not what she wanted to reply. But hearing his last sentence. All the chains she had placed on her heart, the chains she placed to stop herself from getting affected, have crumbled and her heart she made into stone have hurt once again.

"Do you think I wanted to keep on planning and planning? Do you think all I wanted to do was to think? Do you think I wanted to keep all these secrets? Do you think I never wanted to have a different life? Do you think I really wanted to be blind? Do you think I never wanted to feel, and just act like a doll? Do you think..."

She then faced him just as tears run down her cheeks.

"I never wanted to let this stupid water go?" she finished as she wiped them away.

Raven was lost for words, for the third time he have seen her tears. And yet this one has the most painful look on her.

"I am a human too, I wanted you to remember that. Just as you all laugh, I also wanted to laugh. Just as all of you smile, I also wanted to smile. Just as you all enjoy your lives, I also wanted to live my life without any worries. Just as you all can cry, I too..." she then points at herself.

"Also wanted to cry."

She paused and wiped her tears once more.

"I never wanted to be suddenly thrown into an unknown world. I never wanted to live in a world full of screams and death. I never wanted to be thrown back and forth like a doll. Cause I am not. I have a heart that is still beating. And it is right here, right here in my chest. I am a human being."

She wiped her tears once more as she took a deep breath.

"You're right. Yes, you are indeed right I am not simply a zero. But do you remember the time you lost control of your ability? Hmm? Cause I am the same, I can't lose control. Your ability could bring down a city, could kill a few hundreds. But mine is different, once I lose control, my ability would bring down the whole world itself."

She walked towards him, "If you were given a chance, would you choose this life? When I was young I couldn't play, they never told me I couldn't but they never told me I could either. I was taken when I was just a new born, they never asked me nor my parents, they just decided. I was thrown back here but they didn't ask me if I'm ready, they never even gave me a choice. They went ahead and got themselves killed, did they think I wouldn't care? I AM A GOD DAMN HUMAN BEING!!! I can feel pain too."

"So will you? Will you choose it? Cause I won't. If I was just given a chance, if there was a god out there, I would have asked him never to create me. Or if those people asked I would have told them if they could just kill me right there and then. I am nothing but a monster after all."

"What are... you... saying?" his heart suddenly thumped. He suddenly felt nervous of what she was about to say.

"Do you remember the faults of the other Azusa's?"

"What of it?"

"Her offense is nothing compared to mine," she walked closer and this time pointed at him, her finger touching his chest.
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"I..." she went even closer her face so close to his.

"killed all of you."

Thunders roared, the ground seemed to be shaking, Raven felt his whole body turned cold. Her voice was void of emotion.

Eureka stepped back and walked a few steps backwards. She turned around her back once again facing him.

" I never wanted this life. I shouldn't have existed. I never should have existed."

Her voice became quiet as she spoke this three sentences. After a few breaths, she was suddenly spun around and her face crashed to his chest. Raven pulled her closer and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry," his first words.

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked as she felt him hug her tighter.

"I am apologizing to the new born you who was taken just like that. I am apologizing to the young you who never had a childhood meant for her. I am apologizing to the teenage you who was once again thrown back in here after being given so much information. And I am apologizing to the current you for thinking that you shouldn't have been born. I'm sorry that of all people it is you who have to take this burden," he hugged her even tighter when he felt her hands grabbed his shirt.

"Why are you crying for me once again?" she asked once again, her voice cracked.

"I am crying for the other half that you couldn't cry. I might be a man and a grown up one, but I will take this burden from you. I am willing to cry for you if that would help ease your pain. If you can't cry, then I will."

Somehow her cold heart felt warm. For the first time in a long while she felt at peace. Her hand that's grabbing his shirt went around his waist as she hugged him back.

"Can you do me a favor then? Can you watch over them on my stead now? You just have to give them the same advise I have given you. They are past the most crucial parts. The final part of this training will be that part where you face that consciousness, but I know they can finish it without me being there. I thought I could last a little longer but my body can no longer keep up. Just let me sleep for a month. Can you do that for me?" slowly her hands went limp as her whole body slamp on him.

"Go on and sleep," he whispered as he carried her to the bed, "Sleep well, pr-"

*knock knock*

Azusa had been outside the room for a while now, she couldn't hear anything and she didn't know if she would be disturbing them. But Akihiro have returned and he asked for them. She had no other choice, so after contemplating for a few minutes she had decided to knock.

Raven came out before closing the door behind him.

"Uhmmm king Akihiro have returned and he wanted to speak with you two," Azusa said.

"She had just fallen asleep, I will speak to him alone," Raven answered as he walked ahead.

Azusa looked back at the closed door one last time before following him.

Eureka, on the other hand, had her eyes slightly opened as she watch Raven leave to the room, "I wish you aren't as perceptive as this. For you to actually know who I really am. I never even wanted for anyone to know. And yet you found out."

After saying this she had finally fallen into a deep deep sleep.

Chapter end