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Power Up, Artist Yang! 205 The Exhausted Artist and His Dreams
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Power Up, Artist Yang! 205 The Exhausted Artist and His Dreams

Mother?

Yujia tried to pull away. 

But then, Zixu's hand reached out, latching onto her arm. Yujia froze again, her eyes glancing down at the fingers that gripped around her wrist. 

"Mother…" Zixu muttered again. 

Her heart practically melted. 

Yujia had a few soft spots. One of them happened to be puppies. In fact, any cute baby animals. Or babies. When they were cute, they melted her heart. 

The other was her younger brother. 

This idea brought a heavier feeling to her chest. At the same time, nonetheless, Yujia felt herself recalling the few memories she still had with her younger brother. A lot of those times, through the brief few years she spent with him, she had been the one who took care of him the most. And during this time, her brother had always had night terrors. These episodes came earlier to him than other toddlers his age. 

She was the one who was there for him most of the time, despite her young age, patting his back and telling him that it was alright through his panicked nightmares. 

In a way, Zixu reminded her of him. The way small beads of sweat appeared between his brows, to how he reached out and grabbed her… it was all too similar. 

Instinctively, as if she was acting out a faded memory, Yujia wiped away the beads of sweat with the cloth in her hand. A small whisper escaped her. 

"It's alright. You're fine. I'm here."

She was sure that Zixu wouldn't quite respond to that, but he did. His grip on her hand loosened a bit— though not too much— and he seemed to stop struggling a little. Yujia wasn't quite sure if he actually felt calmer, or if she was just imagining all of it. She didn't know if she was supposed to wake him up either. She wasn't quite sure how he would feel if she told him that she heard everything. She wasn't quite sure if he would want her to even know these things about him. 

Yujia lowered her wrist delicately, leaning against the bedpost. A few moments later, she determined this pose as uncomfortable no matter how she turned— there was always this awkward slump— so she sat down at the side of the bed, on the floor, leaning her head against her arm. She tried peeling his fingers off her wrist, but it was to no avail. Zixu only gripped tighter. 

She wondered what the story behind Zixu was. What could perhaps make him have dreams like this?

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Yujia realized that she didn't know anything about that topic. In all the stories Zixu shared to her in the past about his family, he had talked about many people— Yu Ziyang, Mimi, his uncle, and even his father— just never his mother. She only realized that just now. 


It seemed like there was some untold past in that area. But considering that Zixu didn't tell her, he likely didn't want to tell her. And Yujia was in no place to ask or pressure him about this truth. 

She would just leave it be for now, until a day where he felt like revealing it to her, if that day ever came. In the meantime, she would just act like she never heard these fever-induced mumbles from him. For all she knew, they could even be nothing serious, and just some random and crazy words. 

As Yujia leaned against her arm, all the exhaustion from this entire day— running back and forth in the kitchens, making the steamed buns, delivering and handing them out, disguising herself, and taking care of Zixu— finally caught up to her. 

She thought Yu Zixu was a fool for studying so hard that he became ill, but maybe she was the same kind of fool as him. She didn't know when to rest just like he didn't know how. 

Without realizing, as time went on, trapped in her own thoughts, Yujia slowly nodded off to sleep as well. 

Zixu was trapped in darkness. So much darkness. Darkness that rolled under his feet, curling up around him, blanketing everything into a land of no light. 

In this endless darkness, there had been voices. Flashes of images along with those sounds. They sounded familiar. Like memories. Like shattered memories.

He looked down at his hands. They seemed smaller, younger. He felt smaller. He felt younger.

He knew this person that he had become. It was someone that he had morphed into in all those dreams— no, nightmares— in the past.

His hands reached up, clasping over his ears automatically. As if he knew what sounds would come up next. These sounds, he had lived through countless times. Once in reality, and too many more times in his sleep. 

The screaming began. And the pushes. And the shakes. And more, more, more— those screams.

At some point through this ordeal, the images flashing, the screams echoing, the idea that this was just a figment of his sleep vanished. It seemed real— all too real. He was back to his childhood, reliving these memories over and over again, and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He could only keep himself curled up, in that darkness, in his solitude, his only hope being that these sounds and images would leave. If they would ever leave. 

They said his mother was a crazy woman. 

Yet at this moment, a part of him yearned. A part of him wanted to see her again, her smile, if only just for a fleeting moment. 

He felt himself reaching out to that disappearing figure, one of the last memories he had of her and her smile, basking in the sunlight, eyes glittering. His fingertips barely touched her shadow before she threatened to shatter. He cried out— "No. Mother. Please. Don't go. Stay. Just another moment. You don't have to go there— I'll talk to Father— it's— no— Mother—" 

She only shook her head. Silently. 

Her image faded more and more. He grew more desperate, chasing after her shadow, stumbling over his own feet, crying out. He felt dragged down. There were boulders clung to his feet, shackled around his hands, slowing his every movement to a crawl. Yet still he crawled. Yet still he chased.  

Right when he was about to give up, allowing the darkness to continue engulfing him— that was when she turned. 

"It's alright," she finally said. 

She turned. She turned. For the first time, she turned. 

Zixu looked up with wide eyes. The boulders vanished. The chains broke. 

He felt her hand brushing over the top of his head. "You're fine. I'm here," she said. It was in her usual way, the way she used to so many times in the past. Her hands were warm, in the light. She was the light. She was the sun. 

He was a child, with her. 

"Don't leave, Mother." he whispered in her embrace. 

An eternity perhaps passed. Or perhaps it was only a mere second amongst the everlasting path of time. A precious second that his mind clutched on, unwilling to let go. 

In the next moment, the second was gone. Perhaps it had never even been there in the first place.

When Zixu looked up, she had faded. The sunlight was no longer there, and he was back in the darkness. 

He opened his eyes. 

There was barely any dim light streaking in through the windows. He was laying in bed. He raised one of his hands, staring at it and his long fingers. 

He wanted to laugh. 

The foolish, pathetic dream of a child. 

He didn't even think that he would have those again. How many years had it passed since he last had a dream like that? 

Those dreams were worthless. Laughable. 

But when his hand reached up to his eyes, why were they just a bit foggy? 

He chased the lingering pieces of the dream away, back to where they belonged in the darkness. Zixu shifted his body, turning in the blankets to face the side. 

That was when he saw her, lying her with her head draped on her arm, sitting on the floor. She was asleep. He glanced over at her hand and his fingers wrapped around her wrist. 

Ah.

Chapter end

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<<Prev
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Catalogue
258 Final Preparations of the Detective
257 The Detective Returns to the Villa
256 End of the Maid's Day
255 Trust System of the Maid
254 A Very Internally-Flustered Maid
253 Tests for the Maid
252 The Maid Cleans Around
251 The Artist Becomes a Literal Maid
250 The Artist Gets a Bit Embarrassed
249 In Which the Detective Gets Exposed
248 The Detective, Mission: Refining the Disguise
247 The Detective, Mission: Testing the Disguise
246 The Detective, Mission: Creating a Disguise
245 The Artist's Transformation Into a Detective
244 Infiltration and the Artist, Again
243 The Artist Thinks and Thinks and Thinks
242 The Artist Thinks and Thinks and Thinks
241 A True Culprit Behind the Artist's Poisoning
240 The Artist Learns of the Madam Liu's Pas
239 Amnesia and the Artis
238 The Artist Meets Her Birthmother
237 Bonus: The Crown Prince Drinks Vinegar
236 The Artist Deals With a Jealous? Business Partner
235 Hangover Soup and the Artis
234 The Artist Deals With Consequences
233 The Artist Proposes a Game
232 An Offer From the Artist For Some Soup
231 When the Artist Thinks Too Much
230 The Artist Has a Matchmaker Master
229 Tranquility and the Artis
228 The Artist, the Wine, the Poetry
227 What Information About the Artist?
226 Drinking With the Artis
225 Alcohol for the Artist, Again
224 The Artist Ponders, Ponders, and Ponders Some More
223 Finding out the Contents in the Artist's Stolen Box
222 The Artist Paints a Cow
221 More Oil Paint and the Artis
220 An Introduction to Oil Paint and the Artis
219 Unoriginal Chapter Titles and the Artis
218 Back to the Artis
217 The Last Memory Fragment of the Pas
216 The Shattering Memory Fragments of the Pas
215 The Darkest Memory Fragments of the Pas
214 The Fracturing Memory Fragments of the Pas
213 The Brightest Memory Fragment of the Pas
212 The Following Memory Fragments of the Pas
211 The First Memory Fragment of the Pas
210 The Artist's Courtyard's Truth
209 A Hot Bath and the Artis
208 Bribery and the Artis
207 The Artist, Physician Yang Edition
206 The Artist Awakens
205 The Exhausted Artist and His Dreams
204 The Artist, Nurse Edition
203 The Physician Diagnosed the Artis
202 The Artist is Innocen
201 Perhaps, the Artist Murdered Someone?
200 The Artist's Infiltration, 2nd Edition: the Yu Villa
199 A Lovely Disguise of the Artis
198 An Attempt of the Artist to Find the Young Master
197 The Artist Tastes the Food
196 Manual Labor and the Artis
195 Can the Artist Cook?
194 The Artist Becomes a Chef
193 Daydreams and Drunken Dreams of the Artis
192 The Artist Snatches Good Food
191 Theory Discussion and the Artis
190 An Artist's Infiltration, Phase Failure ?
189 An Artist's Infiltration, Phase Hiding
188 An Artist's Infiltration, Phase Two
187 An Artist's Infiltration, Phase One
186 The Artist Decides to Infiltrate
185 Poetry and the Artis
184 The Crown Prince Gets Along Well With People
183 The Crown Prince Has Too Many Plans
182 Two Difficult Men and the Artis
181 The Artist Only Cares for Good Food
180 Roasted Duck and the Artis
179 Way Too Many Gifts for the Artis
178 Contemplations and Worries of the Crown Prince
177 Too Many Gifts for the Artis
176 Observations of the Artis
175 The Artist, Moving Forward
174 A Story from the Little Artis
173 The Artist Amongst the Stars
172 The Artist Sits by the Fire
171 Stories For the Artis
170 Expedition of the Artis
169 The Artist Meets the Dog
168 Curses From the Artis
167 The Artist Screams A Lo
166 A Challenge for the Artis
165 The Artist Gives Advice
164 IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT 12/31/2019
163 More Cautious Ideas of the Artis
162 Heart of the Artist Feels a Bit Heavy
161 A Good Student: The Artis
160 The Artist Sketches and Ponders
159 Hangover For the Artist, Again
158 When the Young Master Runs Into the Master
157 The Young Master Never Drinks
156 A Drink With the Artist Under the Plum Blossoms
155 Wine Purchase of the Artis
154 The Artist Goes to Buy a Drink
153 New Perils of the Artis
152 Physician Diagnosis for the Artis
151 The Cruelest Memory of the Artis
150 The Artist, Drowning Once More
149 Beginning of the Artist's Wise Words
148 Painting Demonstration of the Artis
147 The Artist Becomes an Instructor
146 New Friends of the Artis
145 The Artist's True Masterpiece
144 Games and the Artis
143 A Long Conversation With the Artis
Chapter 142
Chapter 141
Chapter 140
Chapter 139
Chapter 138
Chapter 137
Chapter 136
Chapter 135
Chapter 134
Chapter 133
132 The Fourth Miss Tries to Get It Over With
131 The Fourth Miss is Not a Simple Beauty
130 What Correlation Between Transmigration and the Fourth Miss?
129 The Fourth Miss Picks Up the Pas
128 Actions of Others During the Celebration
127 Gift From the Crown Prince
126 A Disappointing Conclusion To the Fourth Miss's Day
125 Fear From the Fourth Miss
124 The Young Master, His Thoughts
123 The Fourth Miss's First Touch of Death
122 Walking By the River With the Fourth Miss
121 The Fourth Miss Celebrates Birthdays
120 Avoidance From the Fourth Miss
119 The Fourth Miss Teaches Again
118 What the Fourth Miss Did For Some Time
117 The Fourth Miss Admits to the Truth
116 The Final Truth For the Fourth Miss
Chapter 115
Chapter 114
Chapter 113
Chapter 112
Chapter 111
110 When the Fourth Miss Decides to Become a Tour Guide
109 The Fourth Miss Talks Things Ou
108 The Fourth Miss Blends in the Convention
107 Should the Fourth Miss Sell Her Work?
106 Speed Painting and the Fourth Miss
105 Yes, The Fourth Miss Paints
104 Meetings and Conventions For the Fourth Miss
103 Yang Villa Upgrades and the Fourth Miss
102 The Fourth Miss, a Coward
101 Bonus: Power Up, Agent Yang!
100 Inner Thoughts of the Fourth Miss
99 Senior Brother Chats With Fourth Miss
98 The School Head and the Fourth Miss
97 The Fourth Miss Starts a New Projec
96 Results of the Fourth Miss Negotiating
95 Negotiations and the Fourth Miss
94 Proving One's Identity to the Fourth Miss
93 The Fourth Miss Gets Her Feas
92 Is the Fourth Miss's Invention Great Enough?
91 A Nice Portrait From the Fourth Miss
90 The Fourth Miss Greets Her Master
89 For the Fourth Miss To Meet Her Future Senior Brother
88 The Fourth Miss Begins to Believe in Fate
87 Typical Mornings of the Fourth Miss
86 And the Winner of the Fourth Miss's Drinking Competition Is…
85 Settling the Fourth Miss's Issue With a Drink
84 Chats and the Such With the Fourth Miss
83 Is it Fate, Fourth Miss?
82 A Master-Teacher for the Fourth Miss
81 The Fourth Miss Enjoys Herself At the Festival
80 A Possible Back-Up Plan For the Fourth Miss
79 The Crown Prince Visits Some Old Acquaintances
78 A Product Pitch From the Fourth Miss
77 The Fourth Miss Sees Someone Familiar Again
76 The Fourth Miss Explores the Marketplace
75 Trust Issues and the Fourth Miss
74 When the Fourth Miss Learns of the Past Once More
73 A Stressed Out Fourth Miss
72 The Fourth Miss Becomes a Teacher
Chapter 71
70 The Fourth Miss Has a Nice Conversation
69 A Struggle of the Fourth Miss To Think of Excuses
68 The Fourth Miss Takes a Leisurely Walk
67 A Final Score For the Fourth Miss
66 The Fourth Miss Proceeds to the Rest of the Exam
65 Taking the Exam Along the Fourth Miss
64 An Attempt of the Fourth Miss to Enter the Academy
63 A Solid Disguise For the Fourth Miss
62 The Fourth Miss Asks Her Questions
61 A New Plan of the Fourth Miss
60 The Fourth Miss Reveals Her True Feelings
59 The Unbelievable Fourth Miss
58 In Which the Fourth Miss Demonstrates Her Painting Skills
57 Fourth Miss, Do You Paint?
56 Hui'er Explains Herself
55 Hui'er and Her Troubles
54 The Fourth Miss Counts Her Taels
53 A Miserable Fourth Miss
52 The Fourth Miss Remembers Old Memories
51 The Fourth Miss Starts Her Commission
50 To Go Commission-Painting With the Fourth Miss
49 The Fourth Miss Ponders Over Life
48 A Final Decision From the Fourth Miss
47 The Fourth Miss Learns Both Sides of the Story
46 Revealing the Truth to the Fourth Miss
45 The Fourth Miss Seeks for a Reason
44 A Simple Evening for the Fourth Miss
43 Fourth Miss, What's a Portrait?
42 The Fourth Miss Picks Up Painting Again
41 The Commissioner and His Thoughts
40 The Fourth Miss Begins Her Persuasion
Chapter 39
38 Hui'er Meets the First Miss Again
Chapter 37
36 The Fourth Miss Learns Under Hui'er
35 When the Fourth Miss Visits the Kitchens In the Middle of the Nigh
34 Dinner and Pencils For the Fourth Miss
33 The Fourth Miss Realizes the Truth
32 Fitting Wedding Robes For the Fourth Miss
Chapter 31
30 The Crown Prince Finds Something Familiar
Chapter 29
28 The Fourth Miss Learns of the Yang Family
Chapter 27
26 The Fourth Miss Meets Her Dear Family
25 Exchanging Apologies With the Fourth Miss
24 Lessons of Modesty For the Fourth Miss
23 The Fourth Miss Never Liked Walking
22 Master of Imitation: the Fourth Miss
21 Teaching the Fourth Miss Lessons
20 The Crown Prince Drinks Tea
19 A Dilemma For the Fourth Miss
18 The Fourth Miss Pathetically Runs Away
17 To Suffer More of the Angry Wrath of the Fourth Miss
16 To Suffer the Angry Wrath of the Fourth Miss
15 Which Imbecile Dares to Steal From the Fourth Miss?
14 The Fourth Miss Goes On a Shopping Spree
13 The Young Master Paints
12 The Fourth Miss Gives Up
11 Is the Fourth Miss Getting a Vacation?
Chapter 10
9 Taels For the Fourth Miss
8 When the Fourth Miss Searches for Alternatives
7 The Fourth Miss is a Fraud?
6 The Fourth Miss's Game Plan To Conquer the Markets
5 When Did the Fourth Miss Learn How to Draw?
4 This Fourth Miss Will Not, Can Not, Must Not.
3 The Intoxicated and Clearly Hungover Fourth Miss
2 Fourth Miss, Who?
1 Starry Nights, Dreamy Alcohol, and Lovely Pain
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