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Not A Cultivator 38 As Long as the Poem Is Not Stupid!
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Not A Cultivator 38 As Long as the Poem Is Not Stupid!

The host shouted, "Let's move on to the next contest! Calligraphy!"

"All participants please come up to the stage! Pick up the brush, ink, paper, and inkstone! Then get ready to write!!"

Feng Ao Xiu smiled. It has come to the third contest, at least one more win needed. But, he did not need to go to the last contest, the Second Young Master's calligraphy skill was amazing. Since he was small, other than cultivation, he practised calligraphy almost every day. In the Feng Clan, no one has neater writing than Feng Ao Xiu. The game was already in the bag.

All the participants including Feng Ao Xiu sat down on the stage.

Kong Ling Jue stands up, "I'll be the one in charge of this contest. First, I'll give each one of you a different theme. Then, within ten breaths, you must write an original poem according to the given theme."

"The criteria to win are neat handwriting, compatibility with the theme, and a good poem."

Feng Ao Xiu smiles again, he laughed in his heart.
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[Hahaha... This will be an easy victory! Who can beat me in calligraphy? Nobody! This is a good day, I'll finally get my ha... Wait! Poem!?]

[This Second Young Master hardly knew any poem, and you want me to write one!?]

[This is bad! This is really bad!]

As he was looking for a solution, he suddenly realized that he actually did not have to. There were three criteria. If he could ace out the neat handwriting. At least he would get one-third of the total scores. If he could think of a good poem, a score of 60 or 70 out of 100 would be possible. If he was lucky, he could even get a score of 80.

[That's actually not that bad, I might even win!]

Then, Kong Ling Jue said, "The poem itself will take sixty per cent of the total score. The rest will take twenty per cent each!"

Feng Ao Xiu couldn't help but cursed in his heart.

[What the f*ck! Are you kidding me!? How could the poem take so many points!? Is this even a calligraphy contest!?]

The only thing left to do now was to practice. Feng Ao Xiu thought of the first poem that comes into his mind.

***

The Poem

The poem is here and there.

What poem will I hear?

I was forced to make one.

Who knows how it will end.

Because my poem is not bad.


I will not be sad.

***

Feng Ao Xiu gives himself a facepalm. It's useless! It's so ugly, that he wanted to vomit himself!

The crowd was anxiously waiting. Most of them were looking at the dark horse in this contest. What kind of legendary poem will Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan make?

Kong Ling Jue points at the nearest young participant, "Let's start with you! The theme is Tortoise."

The young man immediately writes his poem. He finishes right before the ten breaths.

***

Break the Tortoiseshell

Through the shell, it was blessed.

Without the light, it walks for a quest.

The strength and spirit live forever.

Leave the home and the courage gather.

The sunlight illuminates the path.

Treading without care for the aftermath.

Break the Tortoiseshell.

And believe it will be well.

***

Bu Liang said, "Nice one! I like the beginning part, but the last part is a bit lacking."

Mo Tie Yang, "Within ten breaths and you could make this kind of poem is already impressive."

The Emperor, "Yes, I agree! It is a good one. Your handwriting still needs a lot of practice though."

Princess Ming, "Qiao An likes tortoise! Big brother described it nicely!"

Kong Ling Jue nodded, "Good! However, there is a mistake, you should use the word 'cave' instead of 'home', and the word 'power' instead of 'strength', it describes the Tortoise best. This poem also lacks a bit of morality. If you write it for a long time, I'm sure it will be better!"

The young man cupped his hand, "Thank you, Master Kong Ling Jue!"

Feng Ao Xiu was confused. Is that poem really good? He doesn't understand anything good about that poem.

However, currently was not the time to analyze that poem. Feng Ao Xiu shook his head and continue with the practice. He shall use the same theme and see if it does any good.

***

The Old Tortoise

The Old Tortoise is 100 years old.

It lived a long life and the shell is cold.

Swim in the pond with aloof.

Spinning around like in its youth.

Old but still adorable and...

***

Feng Ao Xiu stopped before he even finished. There's no need to continue, just half of it was already not satisfying. He felt what he made was not a poem but a description of a turtle.

"Next!" Kong Ling Jue glanced at the next person, a vigorous old man, "The theme is Wine."

Although it's not for Feng Ao Xiu, he feels challenged. He believes he could create a nice poem.

***

Three Bottles of Wine

There are three bottles of wine.

All the tastes were fine.

I chug one down and go with the flow.

One down, two more to go!

I chug another one as if there's no tomorrow.

Two are down, one more to go!

I chug the last one but the head feels heavy.

I died and arrive in heaven...

***

Feng Ao Xiu gave up. No matter how hard he tried. In the end, it will always come up bad. He didn't understand how he created a story instead of a poem.

Meanwhile, the old man who was the participant finishes quickly, he only needed seven breaths before he stops.

***

Legendary Wine

The water flows into the river.

The cup holds a feather.

It shines in the moon, showing its fang.

Gentle like yin but strong like yang.

Accomplishment and glory.

The reigns and victory.

I shall pour it all into one.

To wait until this moment to run.

All gods and humans fancy.

Come and see!

All masters and servants envy.

Come and see!

I bring you a dine!

With this legendary wine!

***

The audience cheered! It is a beautiful poem! Who is that man!?

Kong Ling Jue, "As expected of Master Sun, I have nothing to say!"

Bu Liang, "I'm always impressed every time I saw Master Sun's masterpiece!"

The Emperor, "Master Sun is really good, your handwriting is also still full of energy!"

Princess Ming, "Qiao An likes this poem the most! It's the best!"

The audience went into frenzy mode.

"What did they say? Master Sun! Master Sun Huang!?"

"I can't believe it! Sun Huang the master of poem and calligraphy is here!"

"No wonder that poem is so good!"

Mo Tie Yang jokes, "Master Sun, haven't you retired already? Are you here to bully these people?"

Sun Huang laughs loudly, "Hahahaa... I'm sorry, but my wife and children are watching! I have to win this contest."

This is big news! Sun Huang enters a contest and shows his skill, it has been a long time since Sun Huang creates a poem. It looks like his skill hasn't worn off yet. The poem 'Legendary Wine' will surely beat all the other poem.

Feng Ao Xiu's mouth became wide open. What the hell!? Sun Huang! What is he doing here!? How am I going to beat him without any poem skills?

Sun Huang still laughs, "The rest do not need to mind me, just continue to do your best. May the best man win!"

How could the other participants not mind? They must face the legendary master! Of course, they will lose! They lose all hope in this competition. But, look at the bright side, at least Master Sun will point their mistake with his skill. It is a golden opportunity!

The contest continued, and just like they hoped for, Sun Huang gives a precise and concrete lesson to the third participant. The rest of the participants began to write the poem more vigorously. How could they not? Get a private lesson from the legendary Master Sun is a dream come true to all the young calligraphers.

Feng Ao Xiu cursed in his heart.

[F*ck this! All of them became so enthusiastic! I can't withdraw from this contest now!]

Withdrawing means dishonouring Master Sun. Feng Ao Xiu could not afford that! But, If he writes his own poem, he'll be the laughing stock of the entire country.

All have got their turn except for Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan.

Kong Ling Jue stares intensely at Feng Ao Xiu. What will he do now?

"Next is our favourite, Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan. The theme is the Moon."

[Wait! It's my turn now!? I'm not ready!]

Feng Ao Xiu holds the brush but his hands not moving.

[Ahh... I can't get any ideas from inside my head. Moon... Moon... What moon!?]

Three breaths have passed.

[C' mon, think! Think! Not winning is fine! As long as the poem is not stupid!]

...

That's It!

Right after the fifth breaths, Feng Ao Xiu writes vigorously. He already has all the poem in his head.

Just right before the tenth breaths, Feng Ao Xiu puts down the brush! The poem was finished!

The crowd watching anxiously. After the two previous performance, they got a great expectation from Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan. It may not be as great as Master Sun, but at least it will be better than the rest.

***

The Moon Princess

Your smooth soft skin.

The only one in my scene.

Your bright little smile.

The one I won't lie.

The beauty of the moon can't compare.

The shines of the moon lacks colour.

In the night, I grew restless.

For the Moon Princess.

The river flows like the cloud.

The wind plays aloud.

I wish I could express.

For the Moon Princess.

I'll descend from high above.

You are my one true love.

Hold my hands.

I swear to the heavens!

For you, nothing is too soon.

Because you are my moon.

***

"..."

Everyone's mouth opened wide.

Yes! As expected from Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan. The poem was really good, it could even rival Master Sun's 'Legendary Wine'.

But, that's not the point! The thing is, he just wrote a love poem!

For Princess Ming!!

Who else is the Moon Princess but Princess Ming!?

The Princess blushed. Her face became so red. She never felt so embarrassed before.

Chapter end

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<<Prev
Next>>
Catalogue
155 It Will Just Be a Waste of Points
154 There's No Man Alive Allowed to Touch Them
153 Is This Person Strong or Weak?
152 It's Okay as Long as No One Finds Ou
151 I'm Saved!
150 Woodcutters! Miners! Rock Flippers!?
149 Hold My Hand So You Won't Get Left Behind
148 The Hurdle Is Just Too High...
Chapter 147: Don't Drag Us Down to Your Snail Pace!
146 Is This Stockholm Syndrome?
145 FEI BAO XING: DEAD
144 Fork Over All Your Cash!
143 Cockroach
142 And No Refund!
141 I Must Look Really Dashing Right Now
140 Apologise Now or Take the Consequences!
Chapter 139
138 They Have an Urgent Business!
137 Kill... Kill... Kill...
136 You Have Another Woman!!!
135 It Gave Me a Psychological Trauma Every Night!
134 Over My Dead Body!
133 What Kind of Monsters Are Blood Witch and Angel of Death!?
132 Like Selling Cabbage in the Market for Free
131 We'll See Who's Afraid of Whom
130 Don't Spout Such Nonsense!!
129 I See Great Potential in You
128 Avoid Jun Yin Ying!!!!!
127 It's Just a Joke!
126 I'll Rip His Mouth to Shred!!!
125 You Read Too Much Light Novel!
124 You Fooled Us All!
123 Taste My Kick of Fury!!
122 He's Already There!
121 I'm Going to Run Far Far Away!
120 I'll Fight You If I Have To!
119 How Could They've Gone Missing so Suddenly?
118 It's Time for Revenge!!!
117 This Can Only Be the Work of a Demon!
116 It's Hard to Determine Which Is Which
115 It's Best Not to Arrive Fas
114 In a War Anything Could Happen
113 The Star Has yet to Make an Appearance
112 Someone Who Easily Swayed by Food Must Be Fat!
111 Pass the Ball Over Here!
110 Keep Rolling!
109 It's Not a Panda!
108 It's Squishy... and Fluffy...
107 Look! It's a Mountain of Food!
106 Why All These Women Won't Listen?
105 Men Won't Understand
104 Uncle and Aunty
103 I Will Definitely Come Back
102 He's Not Wearing Any Armour!
101 He's Practically a Skeleton!
100 Hi, Working Hard?
99 For an Easy Mission Like This?
98 Stop Looking! You Pervert!!!
97 She Will Remember to Fire This Maid
96 Play With a Dog Until Satisfied
95 Lost a Lot of Weigh
94 It's Me! It's Me!
93 We Want to Torture Him Too!
92 Fifty-Six Per Cent Say I'm Innocen
91 He's Cosplaying as Himself!?
90 Just Wait! I'm Going to Kill You!!!
89 There's Always Another Chance
88 We Have to See Who's the Best Scammer!
87 Are We Going to Get Some Dragon Fruit Juice?
86 I'm the Real Feng Ao Xiu!
85 Everyone Can Be One
84 Why Him!?
83 Please Tell Me You're Not Married!
82 Not Even a Monster Can Survive
81 It May Be Difficult but I Know You Can Do It!
80 Where Did My Three Hundred and Seventy Seniors Go?
79 We Should Help Someone in Need
78 Master You Never Gave Me Your Name!
77 Uncle Human
76 It Seems I Lost Another Disciple!
75 Xiu... Where Are You?
74 No Matter What I'll Save You...
73 Just so You Know My Grandpa Is the Strongest!
72 If It Is a Boy Just Kick Him in the Groin
71 Mother Told Me Not to Talk to a Stranger!
70 I Can Easily Jump 10 Kilometres High
69 You Need Nutrition to Keep Your Body Healthy
68 You Are Full of Mystery!
67 We Just Caught a Thief!
66 With the Power of Love!
65 So It Was a Success...
64 My Dream Will Come True!!!
63 This Must Be What They Call Fall in Love at First Sight!
62 I Love You! Go out With Me!
61 Brother Zhi Yan We're on Your Side!
60 Caught You!
59 Your Feather Is Beautiful Like a Diamond
58 She Knows What?
57 The Best Way to Control Men Is Through Woman and Marriage
56 Am I Already in Heaven!?
55 Kick His Ass so Hard Until He Cried Back to His Parents!
54 It Is the Best Way to Dump a Woman
53 Stupid! Weak! Coward!
52 Too Weak! Too Weak!
51 You Can Do It!
50 Don't You Dare to Call Yourself a Cultivator!
49 Face Hardship and Work Together for a Common Goal
48 It's a New Record! You Have Reached 200!
47 Big News!!
46 Correct!
45 He Is the Incarnation of the Devil Himself!
44 A Comedic Performance!
43 Zzzz...
42 They Are Just Wasting Their Money!
41 Your Performance Is...
40 We Will See Who Is the Best Poet!
39 A Cute Gorilla
38 As Long as the Poem Is Not Stupid!
37 Brother Fei, I'm Sorry! I've Let You Down!
36 The Size of a Go Board Is Only 19x19!
35 I Should Not Have Wasted Eighty Million Gold Taels
34 Apologize to All the Musicians in the World!
33 Feng Ao Xiu's Number One Fan
32 Heavens Have Brought the Two of Us Together!
31 My Name Is Fei Bao Xing
30 You Were Always My Role Model
29 I Love You from the Bottom of My Hear
28 It's All a Lie! There Is No Poison!
27 As Expected from the Master of Liar!
26 Who is Xie Jing?
25 Big Sis Xue Yi, You're Scary!
24 He Is Not Feng Ao Xiu
23 This Is Not Just Too Strong, It Is Overkill!
22 Distract the Knight to Get the King
21 Somebody!
20 Throw it Away
19 Sleeping like a Log
18 I'll Throw Your Fat Body Around like a Ball
Chapter 17
Chapter 16
Chapter 15
14 Take My Daughter
13 Don't Push!
12 This was Definitely a Loss
11 It's Delicious!
10 Group of Trash
9 Straight into Tiger's Den
8 What Kind of Fight Is This?
7 Divine Move
6 Chicken In Tiger Skin
5 Congratulations!
4 Banquet? What Banquet?
3 Stop Calling Me Ao Ao!!
2 Take Fourth Elder to the Doctor Quickly Otherwise he will Die!
1 Eeeeeek... Second Young Master!
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