Milady's Fine Gentleman 154 NO SUCH THING AS FREE LUNCH

Few days passed in the lives of the Chen couple, until Xue Jinxu was finally allowed by the doctor to be discharged from the hospital. The doctor advised them both to lead a healthy lifestyle with sufficient amount of sleep, nutritional food intake, and exercise after a week or two of rest for Xue Jinxu, to at least control their stress levels. They were also advised of the potential results of the unfortunate incident of losing their first baby, the most apparent being in an emotional turmoil. The doctor emphasized that they needed to support each other.

The succeeding days after her discharge, Xue Jinxu stayed at home, most of the time curled into a ball on their bed, staring into space, while caressing her lower abdomen. Chen Linyun took care of her silently, coaxing her to eat the food he cooked, did some sponge bath on her, and even supplied her with happy stories and some current events to keep her updated. Some days, Xue Guangxi and Mo Wenbin visited her. Some days, Teng Man Rui also came to visit. Even the elders, Father Chen and Aunty Mo, and Zhao Feiyan, her mother paid her visits and tried to ease the couple's pain and grief with words of wisdom. Most of the time, even with guests, Chen Linyun entertained them, while the wife simply kept quiet by his side.

Shi Fan Hai's threat to Chen Linyun was completely forgotten and disregarded. In the meantime, they closed Saccharine Decadence while the business owner was experiencing some personal problems. If it's closed, how could Shi Fan Hai's threat take into form?

Chen Linyun was too patient for Xue Jinxu. Sometimes, the wife took some glances to see her husband's tolerant face, but it triggered her to break down. She shook involuntarily until she broke down into tears. In those instances, the husband enclosed her into his supportive embrace while cradling her into sleep.

In truth, what she could not say to her husband was that she's overly guilt-stricken. She was blaming herself too much, to the extent that she did not deem it fit to be alive anymore.

'I don't deserve to be here.'

'I should have died instead of my baby.'

'Chen Linyun is too kind.'

'It's Chen Linyun's child too. Our child.'

'I'm not fitting to be a mother.'

After a few weeks, Xue Jinxu grew a lot calmer. She had regained a little bit of herself. For the first time in weeks, Chen Linyun saw her not curled up in bed, instead doing something productive. She was brewing tea in the kitchen.

"Chen Linyun, dear." She said one day.

"Jinxu, do you need anything?" Chen Linyun rushed to her side when she called. They were seated at the couch in the living room.

"Are you angry at me?" For the first time in weeks, she locked eyes with him. Tears started to flow from her eyes helplessly.

"No, no, of course not." With horizontal lines on his forehead and deep deep anguish in his heart, he grabbed her hands with his and squeezed it, hoping it will give comfort to her severely perturbed heart.

"Do you still love me?" She asked.

"Of course. I love you to the moon and back. To the other galaxy and back. I love you always. It will never wane or fade no matter what happens. We have to be strong, dear." Chen Linyun retorted sweetly albeit being hurt himself.

"Do you blame me? It's my fault." Xue Jinxu did not stop.

"Honey, don't blame yourself, mhmm?" He squeezed her hands more while caressing them with his other hand. "Actually…" He trailed off. "Actually I'm blaming myself for what happened." He said slowly. He could not look at her. His grip on her hands tightened.

"It's my fault, dear. If I hadn't pushed him, you wouldn't have fallen."

Xue Jinxu pursed her lips, because she knew that that might be true. She buried her face on his chest. "I love you so much Chen Linyun. I'm not blaming you. Maybe, maybe…" She raised her head to look at him, before finishing her sentence.

"Maybe the heavens was punishing me." She said.

"What do you mean?" Chen Linyun was confused.

Xue Jinxu went to their bedroom and fetched her bag. She sorted some files and retrieved those which she inserted with her own. She passed it on to Chen Linyun, for him to see.

"Jinxu, these are…"

"I stole it." She pursed her lips, tears flooding her face as her confession was up. "Shi Fan Hai went after me because of those documents. That's when you came. It's really my fault Chen Linyun." She was gasping for air for crying her heart out.

"Make the most out of those documents. It cost us our baby. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Now, tell me, Chen Linyun, do you still love a thief like me? A babykiller?" She grabbed Chen Linyun's dress shirt across his chest and sobbed some more.

"Don't call yourself names. Your miscarriage was an accident. Hush, hush." He wrapped her arms around her tightly and cradled them both.

"We can get through this, mhmm?" He planted a kiss on her forehead. "We will get through this. You're such a strong woman that I know, remember? I can't say that it's nothing, but… it's not the end of the world yet. Our future babies will be impatient if you keep being like this for long. Mhmm?"

She laughed a bit. She spanked Chen Linyun. "I don't know when I will be able to recover. I don't know if I can think of having kids soon, again." She rubbed her head on Chen Linyun's chest while savoring her safety blanket. She closed her eyes.

"We're not in a rush. It's fine with just the two us for now. We can take it slow." He exhaled deeply, while letting all his grief come out with it.

Chapter end

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