LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 92 I'll Protect You

"The letter I was reading yesterday", Shengli who was sitting on her bed casually gave it to Xing.

"Now it has something to do with me?", Xing asked with a mordant smile making Shengli pout.

"Xing, I thought you forgave me!", he sniffed his nose and lied on her lap and wrapped his arms around her hips, "Come on, my Moon! Don't be like that", he said in a nasal voice as if he was wronged.

Xing chuckled seeing him act like a boy and patted his head as if assuring him that she is fine and read the letter holding it with one hand and gently caressing his hair with the other. Shengli just lied obediently on her lap and his hot breath made Xing's abdomen warm.

Xing read the letter which started with 'My beloved Wolf' and was initially all about how much Shihong misses him and a lot about their past and the wonderful time they had together.

Why the heck does this has the feel of a love letter?

"Shengli! What does Shihong look like?", Xing asked curious. Is this Shihong really a man or someone pretending to be one or a man loving another man? She really wanted to know if he is a rival!

"Shihong?", Shengli took a deep breath, "He's almost the same height as you, has light brown hair and brown eyes. He should be at least thirty years old, has a weird smile on him that irks me", he looked at Xing, "Why?"

" He loves you", Xing mumbled and Shengli almost choked when she said that and he lifted his head up, "What..?", he screamed.

Xing could not explain but that was the feeling she got from reading the letter. May be it was her female instinct sniffing out a rival..?

"Nothing.. , he is that old? I thought he would be close to your age", Xing decided to let that matter go. And Shihong is almost the same age as her father?

"I was the youngest one in that gang. Everyone else were close to his age", Shengli said in a soft voice.

Xing even slowed her breathing in surprise that Shengli was talking about his past. He said that and he went back to silence and Xing went back to reading the letter.

Let him go in his pace!

Shihong seemed to be moderately educated. His handwriting was not too bad and he was smart except his rambling about divine ruler.

Shihong had mentioned that he knows the divine ruler was a female and she was Shengli's lover as someone called 'Old Rong' said so. Also he mentioned he is not going to bother with Lord Táng for now as his doubts about him being the divine ruler was cleared.

So, Shihong still thinks Lord Táng is a man, Xing thought.

When reading further Xing realised what made Shengli disturbed that day. Shihong had written that how the divine ruler must end up in the palace and since Shengli is refusing the throne, his lover will end up in the palace as she is fated to be as his brother's woman. The letter also mentioned how any woman will love to be in the palace and his lover will definitely dump him to go to the Emperor. Some of his words were vulgar and extreme as he wrote what he might do to 'his lover' if he gets hold of her and he wrote in details making Xing's blood boil.

How perverted is he?

All in all, Shihong had asked Shengli to take the throne or lose his lover to the one in the throne who is his brother. He suggested he should kill his brother and take the throne. Apparently that 'Old Rong' was the one who revealed this divination too.

Why is this guy being confusing? He says he hated the divine ruler and want to destroy her in one page and in another page asks 'His Wolf' to join him in becoming the Emperor for the sake of his lover. Just how screwed up is he?

Xing took a deep breath to calm herself and Shengli realised she had reached the last part of the letter by her tensed reaction and held her hand.

So did he waver and planned to take the throne because he was provoked by Shihong? Is that why he asked me if I want to be the Empress?

"Xing, I won't take the throne, no matter what!", Shengli said and Xing just caressed his hair wordlessly. She felt like he had more to say and let him be so he'd be at ease.

"I shouldn't have read the letter. He always lets out the darkness in me with ease. I thought after all these years I'll be free of his influence but just a letter from him made me lose myself even before you. I'm scared.. So scared.. ", he placed his hand over her hand and gripped it tightly.

Scared..? Xing was flabbergasted. This guy lying in her lap is the most courageous one she had known. Everytime she felt disheartened, his image of fending off the assassins bravely was the only thing that kept her going. What could make him scared? And why is he always trying to keep her away from Shihong? He knows she is strong. He let's her handle many assassins by herself and doesn't mind when she trains with a bunch of strong men. But why is he scared to let her near one single Shihong? He is a human like her, so Why?

"Why?", Xing asked softly and she could feel his hand holding hers trembled for a moment. He turned to the side and Xing resumed caressing his hair. He seemed to like it and Xing expected him to not answer this question but to her surprise, he continued.

"I did many worse things with him and only half were mentioned in this letter. I... I did a very worst thing and it still haunts me. I'm scared of it's implications... I.. They don't always bring me with their every mission and leave me behind for some. But I followed them once and.... ", he gripped her skirt tightly and she could feel him slightly trembling and placed her other hand around him for comforting him.

What could have happened?

Xing gently wiped the perspiration on his forehead and tried to look at his face but it seemed like he didn't want to and she let him be. He looked like a scared little boy who thought he would be abandoned any moment and it hurt Xing too.

" They... They were... Almost ten of them were surrounding a girl...they were... She was probably a little older than me... I... I... Did nothing, Xing!.... I know you'll hate me for it but I did nothing to stop them.... I froze... It was the first time I saw such thing and I felt weak.... I couldn't move... He... He was watching...and he asked me to join them... I got scared and ran away... I could hear their mocking laughter behind me... I was angry.. But I could only run away.. ", he paused and coughed slightly as his throat was dry.

Xing who was frozen by his confession came to when he heard his cough and she tried to stand up to fetch him water but Shengli was holding on to her legs as if it was the only thing that would save him and Xing gave up the idea of standing up.

Shengli gave out a deep breath as he let every secret of his out and he felt a bit relieved as he felt his burden disappeared. This incident happened weeks before the library incident and this triggered him to kill Shihong more and that made him get caught and had gotten him tortured by Shihong . But sensing that Xing is not saying anything made him more panicked and he felt his heart would burst because of the anticipation. He held her legs more tightly and lied in a fetal position with his head still on her lap. Her gentle hands that was caressing his hair had stopped for a while.

She's going to say that I have nothing to do with her anymore, right? She hates those who does harm to women. Even though I was not involved directly, I did take part by not helping the girl! She will hate me!

Xing mind went blank for sometime as she imagined the scene and unknowingly her hands had paused and she was in a daze. Of course what he did was not right but he would have been at most fourteen at that time.

Xing remembered how she and Haru and even General Kin froze when they saw the rescued women who were used by the gang run by the Gu family of the Water Kingdom and how pathetic they looked. Those three were sent out by others seeing their ghastly expressions and the older soldiers took charge and resolved the matter.

Xing realised that day, no matter how strong they are and how smart they are there are things that can be handled only by experience and they lacked it. Even though what Shengli did was not right, it wasn't his fault either. When you see something cruel and disgusting for the first time it is understandable if you get panicked and you decide to run away from it rather than facing it especially when you are a kid yourself. Even though that girl suffered cruelty, it should be blamed on Shihong and his friends and not on Shengli. And even if he tried to act, he could not have done much as they were equally strong as him and where could he have found help even if he tried? Would the other members of their gang helped? Or the soldiers or officials? The West was entirely neglected back then. How many women would have suffered this cruelty?

"Xing!", Shengli's meek voice was heard and brought Xing back.

Xing just hugged him around his head and kissed his forehead, " Lu Chenglie! It's not your fault! Remember that! I'm glad you survived all these and came back to me! ", she whispered in his ears and patted his head gently.

"I'm stronger than other women. I can handle a bunch of those bastard men. So you can rest assured", Xing continued in an assuring tone. She knew this was the reason he is scared for her. He is afraid she might end up as the woman whom he didn't help before. She knew that was the utmost cruelty that can be done to a woman and it would destroy her body and soul entirely. It's not like she could not understand it or she was too haughty about her skills but she just wanted to take some pressure off him. Xing did know strength and skills cannot save always and anything can go wrong.

Shengli turned and looked at her. His eyes were a little puffed up by the lack of sleep and his crying previously.

He gently traced his finger on her forehead, "My moon! You fainted out of nowhere! How can I rest assured? You are just like other women. You are MY woman. It is my duty to protect you and I will!", he held her cheek and looked into her deep dark eyes,

" I will protect you"

Xing would be lying if she wasn't touched by his words. She tried to reply him but his hands fell down and Xing could see he drifted into dreamland within seconds.

His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were closed and that made Xing want to tease him but she held back remembering that he didn't sleep last night and he must be really tired. She let him rest in her lap even though it hurt slightly after being in the same position for long. She just adjusted herself to lean on the headboard of the bed and she sang the lullaby her mother used to sing for them, patting his head. She could see his lips slightly curving up and she felt pleased.

That's right, my Prince! Just remember how happy and carefree we were those days when you lived with us! Forget every harsh and bad things that happened in those two years after that! I'm here, so don't worry! I'll love you no matter what!

Chapter end

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