LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 486 The Secret He Kep

She did it to let Fei Lian see her children even though she knew he can watch over them just from anywhere. She just would come here, offer him her usual sweet buns and would talk to him for some time before leaving.

It has been a year since the Emperor has passed away and Xing noticing Chenglei's saddened state, she urged him to travel with her and they visited their daughters who were living peacefully.

As Xing was thinking of consoling Chenglei, she didn't know his thoughts were entirely different and he was sad for another reason, entirely.

'If my brother left, it won't be far for my wife to leave me too'

"Ah Sheng, don't touch the incense burner," Xing spoke in a firm tone but the little boy as if he was deaf, just picked two of them and started clanking them together making an unbearable noise. His silver hair has already got dishevelled and his green, sparkling eyes were glimmering with that pure joy that would only belong to a child.

Xing found that as each generation goes, their fear for the elders reduces too. Her children always obeyed and feared her. Her grandchildren obeyed her but didn't fear her that much. And this great-grandson, he didn't obey or feared her.

He had a perpetual smile in his cute face and would get away with anything. There were many a times he'd just rum to his great-grandma after getting caught of being naughty and would escape punishment. He loved his great-grandpa who always feeds him and would carry him around and take him outside on a horseback.

He only feared his parents and was scared witless about his grandpa who was stern and would mock Lianlian behind his back for fearing his adorable great-grandma. He was such an adorable kid and Xing forgets the time watching him.

Seeing the little boy damaging the incense burner, the Priestess who succeeded Priestess Shu, glared at the boy.

"Out!" Xing seethed, "I'll get you ten of these in solid gold!"

'No one can scold my little great-grandson! How dare she?' Xing mumbled irritated, 'He greatly resembles Chenglei, isn't he? ' her lips curved up immediately lifting her mood.

Seeing the most respected woman in the Kingdom angry, the Priestess ran away scared after apologising profusely.

Xing sighed looking at the boy still banging the incense burner, now on the floor.

'Lianlian is going to be mad at me for spoiling his grandson too much! Huh, whatever! He'd be spoilt only as long as I'm alive. Poor little boy can enjoy the doting till then'

"Fei Lian... You here?" Xing asked placing the sweet buns she brought on bowls.

"The buns in this bowl are made by our manor's chef and these ones... I tried to make it myself..."

Xing chuckled seeing a bun, she made disappear.

"Don't overdo it, Fei Lian. I gave only one bun to my husband fearing he might get sick eating my cooking. You should be careful too," Xing advised but even before she finished speaking, half of the bowl got emptied.

Xing felt blissful seeing that. Anyone would be happy seeing their efforts getting appreciated.

But will he be fine? It didn't taste that good...

Eh! He's a god! He'll be fine...

Xing let it go.

"Hey, Fei Lian, can I ask you something?" she paused waiting for the bell in the Temple to ring but with the noise Ah Sheng was making, the bell sound wasn't clear. She used to interact with him through the bell, usually asking yes or no questions and the sound of bell meant 'yes'.

"Is Lianlian really a reincarnation of Master Yuan? If yes, eat the bun the chef made," Xing watched the bowls and see one bun from that bowl disappearing.

So I guessed right! And my son is the reincarnation of my ancestor.

"And, Mizuki... Is she Empress Shu's re..., " another bun from the chef's bowl disappeared.

"Wow! So they did have their happy life at least in their next life," Xing was relieved. If not for the sacrifices of them, she won't be here. She didn't clarify her doubts till then because she didn't want to be prejudiced. She was absolutely certain her son was Master Yuan's reincarnation but wasn't so sure about Mizuki.

What if she wasn't Empress Shu in her previous incarnation? Then I wouldn't want her with him.

Xing didn't want to know that fact since she knew Lianlian and his wife were deeply in love. But now she was relieved.

"Hey, Fei Lian," Xing interrupted Fei Lian blissfully eating the buns she made with her own two hands. She didn't know how elated it made him feel that the little toddler girl who once stuffed sweet buns in his mouth is now serving him buns made by herself. And he couldn't hide his sorrow about the decision she made either. This is probably the last time she'd be talking to him like this.

"Good thing she cannot see me or hear me, " Fei Lian wiped the corners of his eyes.

"Stop her then," Mazu who was by his side held his hand. She was gearing up too. This descendant of hers never comes searching for her. So everytime she comes for Fei Lian, she'd join him and steal his buns.

"You think anyone else can convince her when her husband failed?" he asked back and Mazu bowed her head accepting defeat.

"What will happen after I die?" Xing who couldn't hear their interaction asked.

"And my husband? We don't have another life and the Heavenly Emperor said I don't have to meet King Yan.... So what will happen to me and him?" she continued.

"Ah! What am I doing?" she hit herself in the head, "You really cannot talk about these things with me!"

'And even if you did, I won't be able to hear it'

Xing was a bit dejected since she had to interact to Fei Lian this way. But after she refused to accept her role as the Prince of Heavens and the portals being closed, this is the only way to talk to him. Also he is her ancestor and she wasn't allowed to meet him or even feel his presence. Heavenly realm did have some stupid rules.

"You know what, Fei Lian?" she added after she composed herself. "I'd like to be a star in the sky... Along with my husband. He'd be a red star and I'd be a blue star. He looked dapper in red and I love blue. We'll be together circling around, looking at each other for all eternity.... It would be nice...," she chuckled as she caressed Ah Sheng's hair. That boy played for this long and already got tired and is now lying on her lap, half - asleep.

Being a child should be nice, Xing smiled.

" You know, Fei Lian... I said these things to my husband one day when we were drinking together with Kouki... And they... Laughed, calling me simple and accused me of high expectations. Are you laughing too?" she sighed as there were no movements.

"I'll be leaving,then. Don't make noise. Ah Sheng slept already. And thank you both for everything," Xing stood up, holding the boy and left the temple as she could hear the bells tolling non-stop.

She knew Mazu would be there too and that's why she increased the amount of sweet buns she brought.

She smiled.

'Well, all good things must end. My life too! '

She had no disappointment not knowing what would happen to her.

She said all those things to Fei Lian since she knew she wouldn't get an answer. She didn't want an answer but she wanted to put out her wish as to what happens to her after her death. If it is comes to pass, she'd be happy. If not, she'd be glad to accept that too. All she wanted was to have her life with Chenglei and she had it. She lived her life fully and to her heart's content with him and have seen every happiness this mortal life could offer. She really didn't want anything more.

Days passed and Xing and Chenglei went back to the Jin Manor of the West after their short trip to the Water Kingdom. Xinxin became the Emperor and so he couldn't visit them often as he used to. Also their granddaughter is married to the Crown Prince and is currently pregnant and they wanted to give their blessings. Both of them are their grandchildren although they were not related by blood. Xinxin had to get the support of Xing to have Feifei's daughter married to his son. Xing was glad for them.

After the court exams and training of the new officials were finished in the Wind Kingdom, Xing arranged a banquet in their Manor, inviting everyone of her family and friends.

Huang family members, Zhong family members, Haru's family, Ayane's family was there too.

They all stayed in their Manor for a couple of days, merrily spending time together.

Chenglei had a feeling in his heart as to her plans henceforth. Her visiting all her children who won't be able to visit, her gathering all those who can attend the banquet here....

Why does it feel weird?

Is this really a feast or a....

Ah, no! Let me enjoy my life together with her without worrying for the future!

In the pavilion on that cliff facing the sea, Xing whose hair had greyed by now was sipping tea leaning her head over her prince's shoulder. The gentle sea breeze ruffled their now matching hair and their hair danced together in that breeze intertwining with each other just like their fingers were.

"My Prince, after everything we've gone through, do you think it is worth it?"

The man who had never lost his charm in her eyes sipped the tea from her cup, a habit he has for years now, smiled the same smile that she saw when she first met him,

"My moon! It definitely is! I will go through it a hundred times if it would lead us here. You've given me every happiness there is", he kissed her head.

Both of them, with the golden rays of the sun making their hair glow like amber, watched the sun setting in the sea and snuggled up to each other as all they had ever wanted in their life is to be together like this and that was not easily attained too.

Only when you get something after great struggles would you realise it's worth and even small pleasures will make you ecstatic only if you'd known the depth of exasperation.
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That's how they've lived their life till now, like each day is a gift. They never went to bed angry with each other even though they had misunderstandings and difference of opinions at times. They let nothing come between them, even their children. And looking back they wouldn't change it for anything.

"This is a nice view...," Xing said. This pavilion was always close to her heart and she loved it here.

Even when he forgot her, he had built this pavilion according to her taste and these days they spent most evenings here, drinking tea and carelessly chatting. It is amazing they always had topics to talk about even though they were together for this long.

Forty three years of marriage... She's known him for fifty eight years now and she would bet her everything that she is the most blissful woman in this world... Or any world!

" Let's get buried here," she said casually and she felt his hold on her hand tightening.

"I like it here," she added making him sigh.

"Xing... Must you... Now..?" His throat closed and his heart beat erratically.

"Why not? Don't tell me you don't want to be buried with me?" she raised her eyebrows and pecked his cheek now pale, "Everyone's here. At least you don't have to inform them of my death," she laughed but he wasn't. This is no joke.

For Xing... It's not like she wanted to leave him this early. The more she lived with him, the more she became greedy and wanted another day with him.

But...

His heart has become much weaker these past few weeks, Xing knew. She knew that even her medicines are only that efficient and it won't make anyone immortal. His time might come any moment.

As much as Xing wanted more time with Chenglei, she didn't want to live even a second without him. And as he had promised before, he should be the one burying her. She will not give up on that wish. So she felt now would be the best time for her to let go of her life.

Also, her hair greyed entirely, her face was filled with wrinkles, her knees hurt and she couldn't sleep at night... Growing old is not fun!

"Xing...," he leaned on her shoulder, " I really don't want you to leave," he went silent. He regretted his promise of burying her himself. If not for that promise, he'd gladly leave first, without even trying to live breathing the air that wasn't breathed by her.

"Come on, now. We know this was coming. Let's not pretend we didn't know about it and prepared for it ," she placed her head over his head after kissing his head.

They silently watched the big orange sun silently getting refuge beneath the sea in the horizon painting a beautiful picture in the sky with the pinkish, orangish clouds that looked pleasant as the skillful strokes in a painting as the first star of the night appeared.

"Wait..." Xing sat straight and pushed him away holding his shoulder as she recalled something, "You called me, 'My Moon' !"

"Huh?" Chenglei was startled at first by her sudden shouting but soon his face became gentler. He occasionally called her 'My moon' these days, but she realises it only now?

My sweet kitten is the same even now! Pure and innocent.

"You did! You called me your moon... How..?" she asked again. When she asked him about their past, she never mentioned that he used to call her his moon. So if he suddenly used that phrase it could only mean...

"My love, I have something I've been meaning to show you," he held her hand and stood up. He couldn't walk immediately and he stretched himself before both of them got down from the cliff, walking towards their courtyard while Xing was wondering what secret he is going to reveal.

Chapter end