LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 432 Will I End Up Resenting Him?

The screams were hers as she was in labour. Xing felt her heart clench as she knew how much Yukiko has suffered trying to give birth.

' Is this why she wrote me to ask for my help?'

"Mingxia?"

Yukiko was the first one to notice her and her tear and pain filled face showed surprise and relief.

"Help my wife", the Water Emperor ran towards Xing and knelt in front of her. Xing didn't notice him since she was observing Yukiko.

Yukiko' s pulse was was weak and there was a thick stench of blood as she was bleeding out. The baby... Apparently the water seemed to have broken for a long time and without thr amniotic fluid, the child was struggling to breath. Not only that, the boy was in breach position with the cord coiled around him suffocating him.

This is a terrible terrible situation! For the baby mostly. Will Yukiko get through another still birth?

Xing heart ached and she shivered as she felt a chillness spread from her hand and she saw the Water Emperor kneeling in front of her holding her hand.

"Save my wife!", he cleared his throat, "I don't care about the child. Save my wife first, please", the second part came out as a whisper as he buried his head in her hand and she could feel him choking up as her hands got wet.

'What's with Emperors kneeling in front of me for their wives?', was Xing's first thought.

"Get up", she pulled him up. She could feel him completely disheartened and unable to even think.

He loves his wife, she knew.

" I will help a woman in such situations whether the husband asks or not and even if I hate the woman. So...", she pulled him up seeing him still holding her hand. She knew he needed a hug.

Poor Emperor.... When was the last time someone even patted you to comfort you? Why would you want such a life?

Too bad, she is not the one who could help him now as she still had no good feelings towards him. Also, She needed to take care of Yukiko.

Xing got near Yukiko and told her the situation. It is saving one life or the other situation. Saving both life is extremely dangerous for the both and it is more tough to save the baby. The best and safe option is to save just the mother.

Judging by what the maids told her, Xing could understand that they know it too and it seemed like Yukiko is the one delaying treatments for an entire day.

Of course no one could force their Empress in front of the Emperor and the Water Emperor looked completely out of it as if he was in a funeral.

"Save the baby", Yukiko cried amidst her contractions. Xing felt a splitting headache by everything happening around her the past day. She had lost Chenglei's trust, her master's life and her contact with the gods in one day.

I really cannot watch a friend die too!

Xing started advising Yukiko in a soft soothing tone to try and change her mind.

"Yukiko, I could understand you. You want to have the child of the one you love but you should..."

"I don't love him", Yukiko said gritting her teeth. "I HATE HIM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART"

Xing could feel the water Emperor fisting his hands hard and holding back from showing his sorrow.

"Yeah, right", Xing brushed it off even though she could see the hatred in Yukiko's eyes.

Surely she must be speaking out of pain. This one left everything and followed her husband and stayed with him where he was, as he wanted even though she suffered.

So, How could she hate him?

" Even so your life...."

"I don't want to live, Mingxia. I don't even want to see that man's face anymore. He can live well with that 'mother' of his and pander to her till the day he dies. I don't care anymore. He doesn't care about me. "

Yukiko spoke in a decisive manner as if she'd thought this through making Xing shudder.

She really means it? How? I know how much Yukiko loved her husband. How could a love that strong be lost and turned to hate?

Xing turned to look at the Water Emperor who had his head bowed. It was his fault. He didn't protect his wife well.

"Get lost! Don't show you face to me anymore. I will not live with you. If death will get me away from you, I will gladly embrace death with open arms", Yukiko shouted at the Water Emperor.

Xing felt a sharp pain starting from her heart, coursing through her veins and spread along her body.

This much hate?

"Get out!", she shouted at everyone and everyone left. She still couldn't feel the god of death around and there is a possibility to save both and The last thing she needed was to get Yukiko more stressed now.

The Water Emperor looked at Xing and seeing her nodding at him he stood in the corner of the room away from Yukiko's line of sight.

Without listening to Yukiko's painful laments, Xing got to her business of getting the baby out.

Normally it would have been impossible but using her powers, she was able to get the baby out with not much time wasted. Yukiko was writhing in pain but Xing didn't give up since she knew there is still a chance to save them both. Time plays a crucial role in such situations and since her bleeding didn't stop, Xing tried to attend to Yukiko but she refused and asked Xing to take care of the baby first.

The baby was blue and he didn't cry and after trying for sometime, he cried and Xing sighed in relief looking at the Emperor and he let out a deep breath as if he was holding his breath for a long time.

"He is fine. He is perfect", Xing passed the baby to a maid to get him cleaned up.

"I'll go get some herbs for you", Xing tried to get out to the mountains to collect some medicinal herbs but was stopped.

"No.... No.... Stay here.... Show me see my son"

"Hold her hand until I return", Xing looked at the Water Emperor and he looked at his wife eagerly.

"You son is fine and you can feed him after he gets cleaned up. I'll go and get..."

"No!", Yukiko shouted and gripped Xing's robes. "You stay with me"

Xing could see Yukiko being too stressed and after asking the Emperor to find the medicines in thr list, she sat by Yukiko's side. She is no immediate danger and she'd be fine if she takes good rest for a month and take nutritious food to combat the blood loss.

By then, they brought the cleaned baby and Xing gave the neatly swaddled baby to Yukiko and she got the baby with tears in her eyes. She was crying and laughing out of joy and Xing who was watching couldn't help but smile.

A little victory. But she needed it after losing a lot.

Yukiko placed her for head over the baby's and placed a kiss over the swaddle as if she feared she might infect the little one if she kissed him directly.

Xing saw the little baby who took after his father and has his silver hair.

"He has your eyes", Xing gently placed her hand over his forehead. The boy had the beautiful emerald eyes like Yukiko.

"He looks like me, doesn't he? Doesn't he just look like my twin?", Yukiko placed the baby by her side keeping both their faces together and Xing agreed even though she couldn't see any similarities between the both.

She carried him for ten months, she endured all the pain to bring him to this world. So she is entitled to believe whatever she wanted!

"Why are you here?", Yukiko asked after she fed the baby, burped him and put bum to sleep.

"I ran away from my home and somehow ended up here", Xing said with a dry smile.

"Right"

Yukiko paused for an entire minute before she said it. She didn't believe it. How could she leave her husband? She should have jested.

"Here", she passed her son to Xing and Xing got him and had a good look at him.

He had a faint white glow like all the others with Lu blood and above all he had the 'dragon sign'. He will surely become the next Emperor of the Water Kingdom, she knew.

"I should have left him when you asked me, Mingxia", Yukiko spoke softly as she was so tired and she could barely speak after suffering for an entire day.

"What's past is past, Yukiko. Now you have a son to take care of. See, how beautiful he is? You made him. He depends on you to protect him. So get well soon", Xing tried to encourage Yukiko. She was scared by the way yukiko acted some time before but now she seemed calm.

The entire room was cleaned immediately, the beddings were changed and the maids helped Yukiko get cleaned up too all in thr speed of sound and with care. She was treated like an empress even in this little house out in nowhere.

"No... Not me. You protect him", Yukiko held Xing's hand and Xing thought she was saying it casually and nodded.

"Have some rest. I'll take care of the baby", Xing patted Yukiko's hand and she nodded back.

As Yukiko rested for a while, the Water Emperor came with the medicines he acquired somehow and Xing with the baby in her hand, got up.

She tried to put the baby down but he got startled each time and she decided to hold him for a while.

Xing checked the herbs brought and was consulting with the physician about the dosage when she heard Yukiko waking up.

"Your Majesty, take me back to the inner palace", she spoke softly but decisively.

"Yukiko, take rest for a month before you move. Your condition still isn't better", Xing who found Yukiko's act strange asked.

" Mingxia, take my son with you. Name him and raise him as your son. Do not let him near the Water Kingdom and do not let him even face the direction of the Imperial Palace of the Water Kingdom", Yukiko spoke her voice slightly shaking but it had a determination and she tried to stand up but she still didn't have the energy to do so.

"Why should I raise your son when his father and mother are perfectly capable of doing so?", Xing surprised as she was spoke dismissively.

"His mother will be dead soon and his father has someone more important to protect. He will be safe with you", Yukiko was firm with her decision.

Xing looked at the Water Emperor for his reaction and he was standing frozen with his mouth gaped.

"You are not going to die and what other place is safe for a boy than by his father's side. Yukiko, what happened? Why are you talking this way?", Xing held her hand and asked with her eyebrows furrowed.

She wasn't sure about what was going on.

"What happened? What happened is I hate him", she pointed at the Water Emperor, 'My son's father still believes that old fox in the Palace is his mother and made me flee in shame leaving her. She is living with him, while I was driven out. While..... "

" I brought you here so that you and our child will be safe ", the Water Emperor interjected.

" I really don't want to talk to you." Yukiko turned her face to the side and looked at Xing.

" I previously wrote a letter to you asking for your help and you didn't respond. It's fine. Now that fate has brought you to me, I would ask you this one favour. Please raise my son for me... He does not need a palace to live. You be his mother and your husband can be the father. He doesn't even have to know about his actual lineage. No matter what, the Water Emperor does, do not return my son to him. Consider it as my death wish and fulfil it, Mingxia", she held Xing's hand with tears falling from her eyes like pearls.

"Why? Why Yukiko? You love him. How can you do this to him. Wouldn't he want his son with him?", Xing was so confused. She couldn't figure out why yukiko would make such a decision.

Didn't she decide to stay with her husband even though it hurt her heart just because she loved him? Isn't that why she refused my offer previously?

" He would want? ", Yukiko raised her eyebrows and sneered. "He wanted to marry me and I wanted that too and we got married. He wanted to become the Emperor and I was excited at first and we both entree thr palace. But then he found his 'imperial mother' and his wants never aligned with mine. He wanted me by his side even though he knew I suffered. I did stay with him... I was foolish.

I never should have forced myself to stay there. I forced myself thinking of my love for him. And everytime I decided for him against my wishes, without knowing I had to sacrifice part of my love. Little by little I lost my love without my knowledge. Each time he apologised and made promises, I forced myself... I thought everything would get better and it didn't. It only got worse. And now I hate him as much as I used to love him. I don't want to do anything with him. I just want to be free of him. If there is another life, I don't even want to meet him"

Yukiko spoke dryly sending chills through Xing's spine.

Forcing herself to stay thinking of the love they used to have not realising it is no more....

Is that what I am doing too?

Chenglei is not the same... He wouldn't doubt me, he wouldn't hurt me, he wouldn't cage me, lie to me and think of himself as inferior to me.

But he is doing it all now.

Am I just holding onto the old love we used to share, pretending I don't care as long as I am with him?

Am I losing myself by trying hard to stay close to him?

Will I end up with resentment too?

Will I end up hating me from the bottom of my heart one day?

Xing got scared.

Scared not because she might get hurt but because she thought she might end up hating him.

That would be the last thing she wants to happen.

Her hating him. It should not happen.

"Yukiko, stop!", Xing realised Yukiko leaving and ran behind her to try and stop her.

"Look here, you cannot do it. If you move around now, you will die", Xing was blatant.

"Why don't you stop her?", she shouted at the Water Emperor and he was standing there with his eyes tearing up, seeing his wife looking like the shell of what she used to be. She used to be cheerful and now she talks about death. She wanted to raise his kids with him by her side and now she doesn't want him near their son and is not trusting him with their son and asked someone else to take care of his son.

What could he do? It is all over.
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"Do not say a word", Yukiko said to her husband as she looked at him with hatred, " You wanted me as the Empress and I stayed by your side even if I didn't like it. But you didn't protect me. I will not trust my son with an imbecile like you. You wanted to be the Emperor and you can be one. Get a heir from some other woman your 'Imperial Mother' likes." Yukiko snorted. Her tone was so dry and devoid of any emotion making Xing feel a chill. It expressed clearly how much she really didn't care about her husband.

She then turned and kissed the baby in his face with her expression turning gentle.

" My last wish. Please promise me", she looked at Xing.

"I'm not going to promise that!", Xing shouted, "You are being stupid. Reconsider your decision, yukiko. This is blatant stupidity. You are abandoning your child. I know you are not cruel. Please.....", Xing cried but her voice didn't reach Yukiko who was walking towards the exit and she was shaking too as she was weeping along with her friend who tried to stop her.

She didn't want to leave the child but this is the only way she knew to keep his son safe.

Mingxia is the only person she trusted enough to give her everything before she died.

" I wanted to be the Emperor only with you by my side ", the Water Emperor spoke softly and walked towards Yukiko and picked her up even though she protested.

"She'll die if you do not let her rest", Xing cried. She didn't know when she starred crying but her entire face was covered with tears.

The Water Emperor paused his steps for a moment before walking briskly towards the horse and got on with Yukiko and left.

Xing sat in the chair in the house with the baby in her hand and sometime later she saw a group of assassins appear and they killed every servant in the house leaving only her.

She knew it should be under the order of the Water Emperor. He should be planning to keep it a secret that his wife ever gave birth to his son. That's how he could protect his son from the reach of the dowager.

Xing sat there not knowing what to do. She herself didn't have a home to get back to. What will she do with another little one.

She looked at the little baby who resembled Chenglei.

My love, will I resent you too?

Xing knew in the deeper part of her heart, she still couldn't accept the Chenglei who is not trusting her and blaming her.

'Are you running off to your lover? '

If anyone said those words to her, she wouldn't have minded.

But it was Chenglei who said it.

How could he doubt me?

Xing didn't know what she could do and just then the little one started crying for milk.

What should I do? Your mother left you with me... How will I raise you?

As Xing was wondering the baby's cry intensified.

There was only one place she knew where she could find a wet nurse for the child and so she ended up in the Heavenly Flowers Palace.

Chapter end