LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 404 I Won't Look For You Anymore

Prince Kang who was learning Guyu language from her was doing an exercise she had made for him to translate a passage from their language to the Guyu language, sitting across the table from her .

He said he is going to bring the Guyu language back to their court and even asked to send some teacher from their kingdom to their kingdom to teach them the language. Also there seemed to be a hidden stash of books in the Guyu language maintained perfectly. Xing took a look at those books and most of them are those she already read and she even helped them by writing two of the books she already read that was completing a collection speaking about the formation of their kingdom.

Xing was in deep thoughts wondering about everything happening around her and an unprecedented fear filled her heart. She might have such fear before but those times Chenglei would be there with her and without her saying a word, his gentle hugs and kisses would give her incomprehensible strength.

But now...

Since she could not contact the great gods she's been asking around some other gods about Chenglei's chest pain but no one knew anything as they felt like there won't be any good reason for him to have pain unless he fakes it.

Xing also asked all the best doctors in the Fire Kingdom to take a look at him and they couldn't find anything wrong in his body too.

Could he be really faking it? If so, why? In the past, even when he faced a lot of struggles he was so confident and brave and he even encouraged me! What happened to him?

She also asked one of the oldest and best physician about her sickness but all he did was shake his head.

"There is no medicine in this realm or any realm that would heal you"

That old physician was in great pain to reveal that to her but that was nothing compared to what she felt. That wound that was festering deep in her heart was pierced with another jab, deep enough to hurt her again all over.

Should I let him go? Will he be fine after I leave him?

Xing's thoughts went even to that direction. But she really couldn't proceed in that direction. What she will she do if not chasing after him? That's all she knew,all her life.

The Fire Emperor who was watching her in deep thoughts sighed. Although he didn't know the full story, he knew about the physicians she was meeting and he found it weird the way the both of them are treating each other. His wife mentioned something about how Lu Chenglei forgot about her somehow.

And it seemed like she is hanging up to the past and he was trying to hold on to her future without caring for her past. It is obvious even to him, someone who doesn't care about others that those two are in love with each other but how that skips to their mind, he didn't know. Those two are one of the few smartest people he knows.

Love is weird and it makes people stupid it seems.

"Here!", he threw the paper he completed at her face to distract her. She's been placing her hand in the flame for this long and it seemed like it didn't affect her.

Xing wordlessly got the paper and corrected it. He's been improving a lot and now he could read perfectly and write to some extent.

"You are good", she appreciated him. "There are a little grammatical and tense errors. But as you read a lot, you'll get a hold of it. It is a hard language to master. It's the language of the gods after all! ", she said and get to correct his mistakes.

Seeing her genuinely appreciating him, the Emperor smiled.

"How are you this fluent?", he asked her. He really wanted to keep her in his kingdom as his personal advisor. With her by his side, no one would oppose him.

He knew very well, the process of his ascension to the throne went this smoothly mainly because of her presence. And Captain Nian openly stated he is giving him a chance because the Divine Ruler talked to him.

"I'm a genius, unlike you dumba**!", she grinned ear to ear.

"Can't you act like a proper woman at least for once", he winced. The words coming out of her mouth, seriously! He's yet to meet such an uncouth woman!

"At least I don't hit below the belt like the one in front of me... Look at my poor hand... How ugly... Short nail in only two fingers.", she pouted looking at her fingers.

"Huh? How is this a blow below the belt?", he has no mood to agree with her.

True, he noticed her trying to take care of her nails even when she was sparring and when he was about to lose, he tried to use her weakness and attacked her nails and it broke. He thought she'd lose concentration and lose but she got more mad and attacked him like an angered cat and scratched him all over his handsome face and also threatened to cut his hair.

What a violent and uncouth woman! Good thing she really didn't grow up with me as a sister. I'd be long dead out of anger!

"Loser! Sore Loser!", Xing threw a heavy jade dragon paper weight at him and he dodged it perfectly.

What a nasty woman!

He noticed Yunxi seemed to be disturbed by the noise and didn't reply to Xing. He got up and covered her properly as the blanket moved as she turned in her sleep. There was silence for sometime as he checked his mistakes.

" He taught me...", Xing spoke softly after a while as she played with the brush. "I grew up speaking the language but it was him who taught me the language... He was a terrible teacher and will hit me if I wrote anything wrong. Haru got more hits than me and he would run away. But since he lived with me, I spent more time with him and within two months I was able to write passages without any mistakes. Ah! Those days... We were always together... Blissful! "

Her tone was soft and gentle like a running steam, a pretty smile was in her lips and she rubbed her palms and placed it on her blushing cheeks to hide her face since she knew she was blushing too much.

"Hmm", that's all he said as he was surprised by the Serene and peaceful face of hers. She looked like the first flower of the spring with her blushed face reminiscing. But her amber eyes that looked like molten gold, seemed to be hiding a great sorrow and yet that added more to her beauty with that blushed face. Anyone would fall in love with her if they see her like this.

She is a woman after all!

But... Is there someone else?

The Fire Emperor looked near the door and saw the tall man with light footsteps, leaving hurriedly and it seemed like his back was slouched.

Is he sad?

Eh? Why didn't he come in?

Chenglei who came to join them only beard about her talking about her past and he couldn't bear it as he felt a crushing pain in his heart.

She is still thinking about him! I guessed wrong that she'd forgotten him! All this time she... We even slept together. How could she still be thinking about him. What should I do? Will she agree to the wedding or will she run away? Should I let her go?

Xing who was unaware of Chenglei's visit was visited by a messenger from the Heavenly Emperor and her presence was requested in the Heavenly Assembly immediately.

Xing after informing Chenglei through a messenger went together and she also wrote a note for Chenglei in case someone manipulated him into some other deal.

As she reached there, she realised she was brought to an judgement and Xing saw Zhu Rong was the accused.

Wow! So she got exposed!

Xing was exhilarated. If only she didn't lie to Chenglei and manipulated him into that deal, they'd be having a lot less problems. Now it is more like both of them cannot understand the other and talking isn't helping either.

True, Mazu is responsible too. But she did pull back at the last minute but she was late to stop what was going on. She was slapped by Fei Lian in front of the entire Heavenly council and she apologised properly too. So Xing had decided to forgive what she did.. Forgive but not forget.

They asked Xing what kind kind of punishment Zhu Rong should be given for breaking the heavy rules. Turns out she'd broken a lot of them from her helping her descendants to disobey the direct orders of the Heavenly Emperor.

Xing left it all to them since she never wants to be too involved with the Heavenly realm. She knew the reason they are willing to punish Zhu Rong now must involve some politics on their side and it should be because there was someone already available to replace Zhu Rong.

Out with the old and in with the new!

Those gods are ruthless like that and she didn't care for their reasons.

In the end, she was punished to reincarnate seven times as a human woman from a poor background and all her life would be filled with sorrow and not a least bit of happiness. And after that she'd be sent to hell, no matter how she lived and the level of hell would be decided by King Yan according to the sins she committed and if she even angeres a descendant of any god, she'd be given the ultimate punishment--burnt alive for all Eternity.

Xing saw Zhu Rong screaming and begging for a lenient punishment without even caring for her appearance and also the other gods were murdering as what a cruel punishment that was.

Whatever! Xing shrugged as all she wanted was Zhu Rong off her matters. And her punishment seems perfect and poetic. And.. Looks like she won't be able to disturb anyone else from now on.

It's perfect!

Xing was asked if she was willing to change it reduce her punishment and immediately Zhu Rong was by her feet grovelling and begging for leniency.

"No! You treated me like a worm since I was a mortal. Now enjoy your mortal life! You should have realised mortals have enough troubles by themselves without you gods meddling. Now you can experience it firsthand. Hope you have every memory of your every life so you could regret living each passing day and wish for death! ", Xing said gritting her teeth and kicked her away.

" You will not succeed! You will suffer for the rest of your life! I bestow all the curses on you! ", Zhu Rong who was being pulled away shouted curses till the end but Mazu slapped her hard that made Zhu Rong faint.

"Shut up!", Mazu was fuming and Fei Lian held her back as Zhu Rong was pulled away from the hall.

Xing looked around her, Fei Lian who used to be stone faced had a gentle smile on his face. Mazu who used to look at her with malice is having a motherly expression now. The Heavenly Emperor who used to have a condescending look is now having an admiring look on his face.

Everything has changed.... Everyone has changed... Even Chenglei...

Her thoughts about Chenglei made her feel sad and she inquired about his health directly to the Heavenly Emperor.

"He is lying to you. His body has no problems", he replied and Xing knew he is right.

Chenglei is lying and making me worry... My Prince would never do that!

But still.... I could change that. But how?

All the advise she received were to forget the past and make new memories.

Maybe I should try that! What if he doesn't want to marry me? I will still stay by his side and make new memories with him and make him change his mind.

Xing came back and her mind has reached a decision and she sat in her study. She ground some ink.

Then she wrote a letter.

My Prince!

You were the first and the only one I loved enough for me to give up anything. I still am willing to give up anything for you. You were the one who taught me many things. My first alphabet, how to hold a sword, how to properly hold a chopstick, how to be patient and many things.

You were my father, my elder brother, my friend and my protector when I was young and my lover when I grew up.

When I was poisoned and became unable to carry children, it was you who gave me strength to live on. Whenever I needed support, you were there. You held all the sorrow by yourself and lived your entire life for me. I didn't return anything! Yet before I could repay you, you forgot me!

You promised on the wind that you'd belong to me and I wish you'd keep your promise. But it is fine even if you don't. It is hurting me deeply that you'd forgotten me but still, I love you.

But, my Prince, I have decided to not look for you anymore and have decided to look forward to my future. I don't want to be tied to the past and miss the beautiful present I have. I want to make new memories, laugh, cry and grow old happily and have a full life.

I know you'd want that for me too. I know how much you loved me.

Don't get me wrong. I won't forget you. I cannot forget you as long as my heart beats. But I will stop looking for you.

I will miss you, terribly. I know. Hope you k ow that too. But I will not look for you anymore. I... I really wish you will come to me by yourself.

Please come back to me, okay?

Your's Always and forever,

Xing
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Xing covered her face and ended up sobbing for some time. Then she composed herself.

Xing! You have decided and be determinant! Don't waver!

Chenglei is Chenglei whether he remembered the past you or not. You know you cannot live without him and be glad he is safe and sound.

Xing stood up leaving the paper on the table and as she stated at the paper, her eyes filled with tears once again.

Of all the decisions she had made, this is by far the most painful decision she'd made.

She looked at the burning flame in the lantern and waved her hand upwards and the flame separated from the lantern making the lantern go dark. She then guided the flame to the paper and she tried to place it on the centre of the paper but she could not watch it and left for Bath.

I'm sorry for giving up on you, my Prince!

The flame fell on the side of the paper and slowly started burning.

But before it reached the words she wrote, a hand grabbed the paper, put off the fire and an ethereal man with his hair shone like the moon read the letter.

Chapter end