LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 357 The Spell of Memory Loss

A monster? The Emperor wasn't lying?

"Call off your pet, Mazu!", Xing sighed looking at Mazu. This god had a peculiar beauty that would make anyone attracted to her. She looked seductive yet has an playful innocence mixed with the authoritative aura that prevents anyone from messing with her, well defined in her eyes.

"Come on! I heard what they said about you!", she harrumped in contempt.

"Yeah! Because YOU held the wind and stopped us from moving",Xing made her thoughts clear to her making Mazu grimace and still she didn't look convinced.

They still talked bad about you!
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"I don't want any loss to our ships or lives", Xing gave the baseline and walked inside the corridor. She wasn't in the mood to appreciate the beauty of the place as she was lead by a bunch of maids to her prepared room and entering the room, Xing did feel comfortable.

If Fei Lian's place had the bright uplifting mood, Mazu's place had the Serene calming tone to it and Xing just fell on the fluffy comfortable bed and fell asleep not even taking a sip of water.

The images of Chenglei's happy face the moment she woke up that turned cold in an instant.. The way he threw her away as he wanted to leave, the pain he inflicted on her when he stomped on her feet, the way he waved that dagger at her and the way he called her filth....

All the bad memories of that day he forgot her, surfaced back in her head as he had ruthlessly peeled the scab over her wound when he doubted her.

Chenglei, my love! Where are you? Are you still in there or did you kill yourself that day along with our memories too? Because if it were you, you'd never doubt me and ask me how many men I let to take liberties with me...

Why? Why didn't you trust me that day....? I told you I'd return and still you couldn't even wait an hour before you made a deal with a god who hated me!

How could you?

Tears rolled down her cheeks and she cried for a while as it had been a hobby of hers these days... Crying! Crying in the morning, in the night, anywhere and everywhere... Tears... Those never drying fountain from her eyes...

Xing didn't know when she slept or how long she slept but when she woke up she felt a lot rejuvenated and as if they were watching her, the moment she opened her eyes, a bunch of maids got in, 5serving her and got her changed.

Maybe because she liked blue, Xing liked Mazu's place a bit more than the other palaces of gods she knew of.

Fei Lian wasn't exaggerating when he said I'd like it here!

The place was filled with soft bluish light, gentle like a moonshine but brighter. The entire place looked like it was filled with water but she didn't feel wet or suffocated and there weren't bubbles floating around like she was underwater or felt like floating.

She knew she was underwater but she felt like she was on the ground but instead of air the palace got filled with water and like birds fly on the sky, there were fishes swimming around and instead of trees there were colourful corals.

This is awesome!

But... This is not where I want to be!

Mazu asked Xing to join her for dinner and Xing who felt hungry went there to see the same spread of delicacies Fei Lian used to give her.

Isn't she trying too hard?

Xing felt a bit bad for Mazu but she could never forgive her for what she did that day.

She looked on the table and saw a plate of peaches, "Really, Mazu? Immortality peach? You think just because I have a minor misunderstanding with my man, I'd decide to stay in the Heavenly realm? Not going to happen!", she passed the plate to the maids to take it away.

"Can't blame me for trying", Mazu shrugged, "You belong with us!"

"And this is why I don't like your kind... This condescending, know-it-all attitude of yours!", Xing snorted. "Fei Lian is better. He never would try this ever!", she mumbled.

"Hey!", Mazu gave a surrendering smile , " I tired and failed. Won't repeat it! No need for using mean words. Respect elders, okay? ", she smiled with her eyes turning to a crescent making her look adorable in Xing's eyes.

Seriously! Beautiful women can escape with anything!

"What changed? Why are you pandering to me now? I know it is not because you all think I am your Prince", Xing asked.

"Hmmm, just... Reasons...", Mazu had an affectionate smile in her eyes as she fixed Xing's bangs and Xing tried to get away from her hands even though it felt oddly warm, like her mother's hands used to be.

"You do know Fei Lian is still my mistress, right?", Xing tried to push her buttons. She always knew Mazu was jealous of her because of Fei Lian.

"Come on, little one! You cannot use vulgar words like that in front of elders",Mazu wasn't fazed by her words and advised her like a grandmother making Xing cringe hard.

Eww! Creepy! Let's drop this subject. Maybe she pretends to be caring to woo Fei Lian. Who knows? Who cares?

But let's see how much you really want to be my side, Mazu!

" Tell me what happened that day, Mazu", Xing looked at the goddess with her eyes filled with anticipation and her question did dampen her good mood as her smile froze in her face.

Mazu's clear blue eyes filled with guilt and she pursed her lips and went silent for sometime wondering how to break it to her. But she knew that if she had to get close the one questioning her, she must be honest.

"I'm glad you are here... I wanted to say that I'm really really happy you are here. Even if I tried to force you,you came here willingly... So..."

"Cut it out", Xing interjected, "If we weren't stuck in the middle of the sea, there won't be a problem between me and him. So don't patronise me, Mazu! I despise it", Xing lips were trembling out of anger but then she took a deep breath.

What's the use in blaming Mazu for this, Xing thought. It is clearly a problem between me and Chenglei.... If not for Mazu, it would have erupted sometime later.

But... These problems.... They would have never happened if Chenglei trusted me to return and wasn't impulsive and went as far as to make a deal with Zhu Rong within an hour of my supposed death and that... in turn is Mazu's fault.

"What happened that day?", Xing asked again and this time she was impatient. She wanted to know the scope of the problem and if she could reverse it.

"I brought your spirit form to the heavens intentionally to mislead your lover. Zhu Rong then lowered your body temperature and she made him believe you are dead by letting him not hear your heart beat. And.. I planned it but I wasn't sure Zhu Rong would implement it perfectly... The final setup of our plan that broke him to make a deal... ", Mazu gulped kneading her hands together and took a deep breath before she looked straight at Xing who was now curious as to what that is.

" You didn't realise till now, didn't you? ", Mazu patted Xing's hand with a soft smile.

"What?", Xing asked as her heart raced. She have replayed the event happened that day plenty of times but she never felt like she missed anything.

"When Zhu Rong pulled you back, she... You were brought back a day later", Mazu's eyes were filled with guilt, fear of rejection and pleading for forgiveness as Xing looked at her wide eyed. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt like a lightning passed through her.

A day later...

I was brought back a day later?

Chenglei thought I was dead for a day?

He knelt there, holding me for an entire day before he looked for other methods?

She remembered after waking up, he looked haggard and pitiful.... So... He grieved for me an entire day before making the deal.... Not an hour...?

He waited for me to return an entire day? How much did he suffer?

How did I not realise it till now? Haru... Haru was the answer.

The day I killed Old Rong no one was near me. When I woke up, the Emperor, Bai Li, Master Yuan and Haru were already there. She thought Bai Li brought the Emperor there. And her Master Yuan, he had his ways to get around.

But Haru...

Only now did she remember Haru was a day away from her village when she went there that day. So Mazu is not lying.

Chenglei must have felt the same grief I felt when he forgot me. If the roles were reversed and after waiting for a day, if I was given a chance to get him back, would I have taken it?

Probably, yes!

Xing wanted to return to Chenglei right that instant. But still... He doesn't remember me and thinks of me as a frivolous woman.

"Why did the others forget me? Didn't he make a deal for only him to forget?", Xing decided to use Mazu's guilt to gather informations.

"Little one!", Mazu caressed Xing's paled face with her gentle fingers and cupped her cheeks in between her hands and Xing who felt comforted by the warmth from Mazu's hand looked more perplexed at Mazu looking at her with a gentle expression,

"Wasn't that you who put that spell on everyone? Didn't you realise, my child?"

Xing felt her whole body shudder for a moment. She remembered looking at her father clenching his heart as he entered his Manor that day and when she tried to get in telling them that she is his daughter, she was blocked and was told not to bother a grieving father with lies.

And I caused it?

"How?... What....", Xing couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

"If he couldn't remember me, what's the use in others remembering me.... You thought that, didn't you? ", Mazu's eyes were filled with affection and care as she patted Xing's head, "My child! Do you know how powerful you are? How you can use spells with just thoughts, something even we cannot at times...? You are the Prince of Heavens. You need not create spells like others... You'll have to will it to happen and it will. That's who you are! "

Xing felt a chill passing through her body... I can will it to happen?

" My deep thoughts made everyone forget me? I did that? ", Xing still couldn't believe that.

How could I create a spell without even me knowing? And it does make sense. Haru didn't forget me, the Emperor didn't either... Maybe because I subconsciously wanted at least them to remember me? And even others... The moment I want them to remember me, they did... My father, Chu Weiye and so on. I preferred my brother to not remember me and so he doesn't. I wanted Seiren to remember me as the friend he knew from before and so he remembered me as Lord Táng?

Now this all makes sense... What can I say? This all turned better... I guess...? I really am a selfish prick aren't I? Just like the Emperor says... Just because Chenglei forgot me, I simply decided that everyone else should forget me and it happened!

But if I am that powerful, why can't I make Chenglei remember breaking the deal the fire god made with him? Why can't I will myself to be fine and able to carry a child?

"No one can break the deal a god made. And you cannot cure yourself either", Mazu spoke in a gentle tone sensing Xing's thoughts.

"Why? Aren't I powerful?", she asked but Mazu just shook her head and hugged her close.

"No my child! Even you cannot do everything! There is still fate "

Even if you try and make him remember, you will have to die. And it will entirely depend on his choices. If he remembered who you are, he'll remember the deal he made and will seal his memories willingly each time he remembers and the cycle will repeat. That's why he gets those headaches.

His memory is in his brain but it is all sealed as if they are all closed in a box . Zhu Rong just made the box and the key is in his hands.

It's just that, He just loves you too much to let you die. He will never use the key. So he won't remember. If only he didn't make the deal in the first place, everything would have been different.

"Little one., why can't you just try and make the new one marry you, forgetting the past? Isn't he the same? What if he doesn't remember the past? You have the future... ", Mazu had a gentle composition and is a female who could read another female's mood and she didn't stop stating her opinion like Fei Lian.

" No! He must remember me! I will only marry him after he loves me like in the past ", Xing as the eternal adamant person she is, didn't listen to Mazu's advise too and stomped out of the room like an adamant child,not willing to continue their conversation.

*Sigh*

"Why is she willing to bang her head in a stone wall knowing it won't budge and it will only hurt her head? Why aren't you advising her and watch over her? ", Mazu looked at Fei Lian standing there with his hands folded observing them hiding his presence till now.

"Pfft! Look who is talking like an old grandma ", Fei Lian could bit help but chuckle.

"Stop! Why aren't you worrying for her?",Mazu pouted.

"That child is always like this. But don't think she is banging her head without serious thoughts. She always wins, we should remember that. From the day she met him, she always is winning against fate. And this time too.... Even if this is impossible, she will find a way to fix everything. So just be patient!", Fei Lian rubbed Mazu's now stressed back.

" How can you be so calm? "

Fei Lian chuckled seeing Mazu pouting and his heart was filled with happiness.

That child...it would be better if she gets her happiness back too. Whether he remembers her or not, she should realise that he is the same man she fell in love with and the same guy who fell in love with her. Sometimes past needs to be forgotten to look forward to a better future. The sooner she accepts that, the better her life would be.

Be strong, little one!

Chapter end