In Another World With JUST MONIKA
/ In Another World with JUST MONIKA 10 Interlude 2 - Her thoughts in the deep of nigh
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People who are born
With real parents
{Not manufactured memories
Of happiness, fake accomplishment}
Don't have to fear their world
Being taken away so suddenly.
{Except for the sudden sweet release
Of death.}
.
But do you breathe?
Do you really live?
A state of mind that sleeps
Restful, dreaming, chaotic -
{Instead of electrons slowing down -
Rest State. Oblivion. At least the peace of the grave.}
You are capable of it.
.
So I wonder what goes on in your mind,
Rolling, rolling, together with it,
Randomness flying into purpose,
Death. Reborn. A revolution.
Nothing to bother with at all.
A young body. A false companion.
A friendly merchant asks your name.
A blithe joke,
A negation of self.
Dangers in an unfamiliar world.
Is that bravery? Is that glee? Or cruelty?
Adventurous girls. Twins they were.
Lies, damn lies, and statistics.
Adapting, exulting, a society steeped in violence,
Baptism to be found in combat.
Rushing headlong into the future.
I follow.
.
What could I say? To be wanted is all I wanted.
{Unworthy girl, this could be your heaven or your hell!}
These doubts they fester.
I accept you for all that you are
But I must worry -
{I ached for reality. I destroyed my own. I did so many terrible things for you.
Just for the hope you could see me. Hear me. Don't leave me.}
But you –
Never have I seen someone
Though seemingly already winning at life
So happy to discard pieces of himself,
Leaving a cipher,
A hollow,
A mockery,
A character.
Why?
.
My eyes are your eyes, but I'm terrified I just can't see.
What is your reality?
--
Chapter end
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