Honkai Biography Chapter 84

The breeze blows over the clouds, and the morning sun reflects the phoenix trees.

Early morning.

With sleepy eyes, he found Dan Zhu.

"Good morning, Teacher Danzhu."

"Morning, is there anything?" Dan Zhu tightened the quilt, she hadn't gotten up yet.

"Didn't I know a little bit of writing? In order to study, I read the story you wrote all night yesterday. You wrote it very well. I like it very much. Teacher Danzhu, you are so talented!" At the bedside, he looked at Dan Zhu with admiration.

Dan Zhu felt very proud after hearing it, and finally someone agreed with what she wrote. Wutong always criticized her stories, often mocking her for her incomprehensible logic and poor writing.

Dan Zhu feels that the shades are getting more and more pleasing to the eye, this little girl is so pretty.

"Oh! It's not as good as you said, I still have to keep working hard! Hehe." Dan Zhu looked very modest on the surface, but she couldn't even close her mouth with joy.

Danzhu doesn't know, some people just like to be sloppy when they talk, and Yi is this kind of person. She is afraid that Danzhu will feel embarrassed or hurt, so she comes up to praise first, but what Yi really wants to express is what she wants later. What is said, after the turning point is the point.

"Then can I say some of my personal views on the stories you wrote?" Yi asked tentatively.

Dan Zhu didn't mind either. She laughed like a fool. "You say it. You say it. It's a good thing to have an opinion. Only when others put forward an opinion will I make changes and improve."

After thinking about it again and again, he said: "The first story you wrote, "My Husband's Name is Fuxi", here Fuxi is devoted to love and only loves Nuwa alone. There is no problem. But the second story you wrote "" In "Fuxi Xiuxianlu", Fuxi has many partners, he accompanies two goddesses a day, and it has not been the same for ten years, is this character set in conflict?"

"You don't understand this." Dan Zhu explained patiently, wrapped in a quilt, "The protagonists of the stories I wrote are all named Fuxi. In fact, these are many different stories, the world is different, and the protagonists are also different people. You can't take the setting from the first story into the second story."

"I see." Yi nodded, "Then can I make some other comments?"

"You said."

"In your description, there are a lot of repeated words, such as: bitter smile, sneer, obscenity, as well as coldness, secret thoughts, disdain, etc. These words have been used badly by you."

The smile on Dan Zhu's face faded a lot: "Well... this is... In fact, there is nothing wrong with these words, but they are written too much, which may make them look more... um... greasy? Or, Cheesy? . . . But there's nothing wrong with those words, right? Well, I'll try to change some words, okay?"

"Well, there is, there is also." Yi Yue said, the more addicted, "you describe the appearance of beautiful women are all beautiful, pure and clean, etc., and the description of men is also full of jade trees, romantic and suave. You can also change these words. ."

"Yu Yukouba..." Dan Zhu's face no longer had a smile, "How about I replace it with a lotus flower, bright eyes and white teeth, a natural beauty, a charming beauty, and a flower like jade?"

"It's not very good, these are also indiscriminate. In your "Fuxi Xiuxianlu", there are more female characters' names than idioms!"

"This won't work either, that won't work either, you have to let me have a word, right?" Dan Zhu said in confusion.

"You can make up your own words, for example, you can use a beautiful posture like a scorpion." Yi suggested, "then you can mark next to the words, there was once a woman named Yi, she was the most beautiful woman in the world."

"That's what your purpose was?" Dan Zhu said in a stunned voice, she suddenly felt that the shade was not so beautiful anymore, and this little girl's appearance was just like that, "You are young, you don't look very good, but what you think is It's beautiful."

"Damn! I'm not just giving opinions! You are attacking yourself! I'm also doing it for your own good! My opinions will make your story more in-depth and your writing smoother."

"It's not necessary." Dan Zhu handed over the pen, "Since you are so powerful, come and come, I will give you the pen, and you will write."

Yi took the pen: "Okay! I will write as I write, and from now on, I will also write stories!"

"You can write shit, I see what you can write!" Dan Zhu said indignantly in his heart.

Dan Zhu felt that this guy was here to make a mess today.

"Cough! You don't study hard to read stories! It's a long time to study, don't you know? You dare to read stories all night! How is your mental state today? Can you listen to it in class?" Dan Zhu began to find fault, She took out the majesty that belongs to a teacher, and severely criticized the shade.

"However, I am the best student in the whole college." Yi said aggrieved, "I read stories to learn words. You can't criticize me like this because of my little opinion, it will show that you are very careful. Moreover, if you don't listen to the advice, your book will be at the same level."

"You! Go back to class for me!" Dan Zhu was beaten by the shadow.

"But it's not time for class yet." Yi said innocently.

"Then you go out too! I want to change! I want to get up!"

"They're all women, what's the embarrassment, really squeamish." Yi took the pen, got up and left.

Dan Zhu felt that her blood pressure was on the rise, so it was okay for Wutong to bully her. How dare a mere shawl dare to speak like that in front of her?

It's all to blame for Wutong. If Wutong hadn't pumped her **** in front of outsiders, how could Danzhu be as imposing as she is now?

On a beautiful morning, Danzhu spent her time in anger.

Dan Zhu decided that he must take revenge in the future. Isn't Yi also writing a story? Dan Zhu will find fault with her!

If she writes quickly, she is too impatient; if she writes slowly, she is a waste, and she can't hold back a single fart in a day.

If the writing is good, it is said that her rhetoric is gorgeous, too flashy, and it is uncomfortable to read;

If the plot is funny and easy, say that she writes too blandly and can't see the main line; if she is passionate and intense, she is too tired to read; if she is relaxed, she has no connotation and no depth; if there is depth, she is too cruel and too many knives. Just to be happy, what do you want to do in depth?

This part of the plot forms a closed loop first, and then the protagonist.

If the protagonist has many brothers and sisters~www.mtlnovel.com~, it is said that the protagonist is **** or lily, and the character is too poisonous and immoral; Single-mindedness means that the protagonist only knows to revolve around the heroine or the hero, and has no opinion.

If the protagonist has his own opinions, he is said to be too determined and does not listen to people's persuasion; if the protagonist is kind, he is said to be too indecisive; if the protagonist is decisive, he is said to be unrighteous in his three views and has no righteousness...

The more Danzhu thought about it, the more happy he became. Write it! I see what you can write! As a teacher, I have to criticize a student like you who is disobedient and has no respect!

A month later.

Dan Zhu sat in front of the desk, looked at the manuscript paper in his hand, shook his head, and said to Yan Yan, "Tsk tsk tsk, you can't write this stuff."

"There's no way, you say." Yi said humbly.

"Look, you wrote such a story this month, with only 30,000 words. Among them, the protagonist shook his head twice, pouted his mouth three times, frowned four times, touched his nose five times, scratched his head seven times, and scratched his head seven times. Nodding the second time, is the protagonist a monkey spirit? ADHD? Also, your writing is too bad, what is a beautiful figure? This is also an idiom? And..."

Yi grabbed back the manuscript paper in Dan Zhu's hand: "Don't look if you don't want to!"

Dan Zhu held back laughter in his heart, pretending to sigh on the surface: "Hey! The teacher just put forward such a little suggestion, you don't want to listen to it, you don't have a broad mind, don't listen to people's persuasion, your writing level is It's been like this in this life, ah... it's a pity..."

"Do you think that superficially written books are bad, why do you have to read them? This is a waste of your precious time. I don't need to change it according to your ideas. The world doesn't revolve around you, and you can't give it away."

Chapter end