Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich 307 Goblins vs Gnomes 1

"Have you bought one yet?"

Nobody could have expected what exactly would happen as a result of the above phrase becoming one of the most popular greetings among mages.

"Last night I had a dream in which my ancestor informed me that this time, it'll definitely be red-blue, red-purple, and black-white!"

Did that sound confusing? Each color combination represented a choice. This was much simpler than number combinations. It was much easier to understand, right?

Yep, this was a lottery system. Apart from a crazy archmage like me who was actually from another world, who else would think of starting a lottery system in a magical fantasy world in order to earn money?

As for this young mage who supposedly received a message from his ancestor in his dream, he was no different to those lottery addicts from my original world. He decided to spend his entire family's fortune on this one series of colors.

Of course, compared to my original world where, in China, the lottery system often had tricks involved and the lottery holders themselves often won their own lottery, I considered myself quite conscientious. I merely had my own people win only 30% of the total lottery rewards.

What? You think I'm immoral? Actually, I considered myself quite moral compared to many lottery officials.

Those who won prizes in my lottery didn't win only gold coins. After all, there were plenty of mages who were already quite rich. My prize pool contained rare magical ingredients, Thorn Garden's limited-edition goods that couldn't be purchased in the store, Justice Points, and even the right to be taken in as a disciple by an Emblem of Endless Truth archmage. These potential prizes successfully allured mages into playing my lottery.

I also intentionally raised the rate of winning prizes during the first few cycles of the lottery. Plenty of mages even won the consolation prize, the limited-edition Iron Horse #8, nicknamed Red Lightning. The winners happily rode their new red steeds and raced everywhere, causing certain collectors to even go into a mania trying to obtain one.

What was with the name of Red Lightning? Actually, they were just the same as Iron Horse #7, just with an outer layer of red paint and renamed #8…

What? Merely changing the color scheme and counting it as a limited-edition product seemed like a devious tactic…? Actually, I felt that I was quite moral! At the very least, I didn't start selling the Red Lightnings at a jacked-up price by simply claiming that they were limited editions. I was even kind enough to change the name!

Fine then, I supposed I was a devious no-good merchant, but was there such a thing as a successful merchant who wasn't devious and no-good? At the very least, I provided the mages with entertainment while I made money for myself. Plenty of people had fun.

And once certain things got started, they would be quite hard to stop, especially since the natives here were "honest" folk that had never known addictions. Once they got started, how would I possibly let them stop… After they took the bait, the prizes they won became the least important. The excitement and anticipation at revealing what prize they could get, just like people making random draws in a cell phone game, was what people became addicted to the most.

And this was just a beginning. They would soon become numb if I merely repeated the same type of stimulation over and over again. I needed to give them endless amounts of new things they could bet on.

"Who do you guys think will win this time? Jinya's Mega Apollo, or Manastorm's Maniac Gear 07?"

"I think the result will be the same as last time, with both of them exploding before they reach the finish line. Damn it, who could have guessed that there would be such a result last time? I bet on the gnomes last time and lost so much money!"

"Hmph, that's because you all still don't know enough about engineers. Last time, I bet that neither the goblins nor the gnomes would reach the finish line. There was a 1:3 betting ratio so I won three times my bet! But still, it was such a pity as I was too conservative with how much I bet. Otherwise, I could have made so much money…"

"Damn, you actually bet successfully on such a ridiculous result? Why were you so conservative?"

"I was quite hesitant at the time. If only I bet on neither side being able to finish even half the race. That would have been a 1:9 betting ratio!"

"Amazing. How about we all bet on the same thing as you next time?"

"Oh, how you heard? Since too many people are betting this time that nobody will reach the finish line, the betting ratio has already been changed to 1:0.8. It's such a pitfall. But I feel like that's the only place to bet."

"Hmph, how dumb of you. I heard that due to last time, both the goblins and gnomes were so angry that they spent great amounts of effort in making improvements. Not only that, Blue Tower's Iron Horse team is joining in for this next race. Do you really think nobody will reach the finish line?"

"How come I've never even heard of this, damn it! The race's hosts are so insidious!"

Goblins vs. Gnomes was the name of the newest popular competition that these mages were currently discussing. Goblin engineers and gnome engineers would assemble their racecars and participate in an obstacle course race against each other. During the race, they would be allowed to interfere with each other; tossing rockets and small explosives at each other was as commonplace as breathing. The first to cross the finish line would be the winner.

However, since the goblins and the gnomes went overboard during the last race, becoming seriously angry with each other to the point of exploding both teams' race cars, many spectators were dissatisfied about how there was no victor at all in the end. So this time, another team volunteered to join in—the Blue Tower Iron Horse Squad. Although their equipment and speed were far behind the goblin and gnome engineers' custom modified Iron Horses, as long as the goblin and gnome race cars kept exploding and attacking each other on the way, the Iron Horse squad would naturally become the only victors in the end. And so, after news about this spread, people viewed the Iron Horse Squad as the most reliable one to bet on, but…

"How are the betting spreads looking like? What result will be the most profitable for us?"

"Fewest people are betting on the goblins as their race car is always exploding before reaching the end of the track. The most commonly bet-on team is the Blue Tower Iron Horse Squad. If they win, we'll be losing a huge amount of money with the current betting ratios."

"Okay, install the newest and most reliable engines in Jinya's race car, while secretly loosening the gears in Manastorm's race car. We're going to make the goblins into the victor of the next race. Right, is the new project ready yet?"

"Of course. 'Goblins vs. Gnomes 2: Hot Air Balloon Airships vs. Combat Helicopters' will soon be available!"

"Yep, make plenty of advertisements for them and begin selling tickets to the first show in preparation to scam mon—er—sell betting tickets. But remember, there's an iron rule that only those with Gold rank and above are allowed to be the goblins' and gnomes' pilots. With how their contraptions are, any with a lower power level is likely to die sooner or later. Is there any news from the other mage organizations?"

In order to help increase the sales for the best and most expensive front-row seats to the competitions, I made the front-row tickets into a mini collection game which awarded a random card each time. If one collected a full set of cards, they would be able to exchange the cards for a free Iron Horse. Of course, there were two specific cards that I had less than ten copies printed, so this seemingly excellent way of receiving an Iron Horse for free by simply buying the most expensive tickets had only given out few Iron Horses so far.

"While there were a few mage organizations that objected to some activities, there were no mage organizations that are actually taking action against you. After all, we really lack good entertainment, which leaves everyone quite bored. Even those who didn't join in the betting can simply enjoy watching the competition. Oh, but there are many that hope that they can enter the competition themselves. However, they want to use their own steeds, such as phantom horses, hell travelers, and so on…"

"…Let them join in the next competition. I've already prepared the advertisement's slogan: 'The mage racers intending to take revenge for the Blue Tower mage's failure.' But you need to accurately test their steeds' abilities first for top speed and natural talent abilities. No more dragon knights or frost giants that are overwhelmingly more powerful than everything else. Such shows won't earn us any money!"

The first few rounds had allowed other mages to participate freely as they pleased, until a top-level summoner decided to participate and summoned a flying SemiDragon that flattened the goblins' race car. Another brought out a frost giant that kicked Manastorm and the gnomes' race car out of the obstacle race in a single blow. "Don't you dare use your stinky shoes to kick a gnome, and don't you dare kick a gnome's mecha!"—Manastorm. The competition became absolutely boring to watch as there was no doubt who would win so we began to limit who could participate. We would publicly list all information about the race's participants beforehand.

"It doesn't matter who wins the race. Since we're the house, the house always wins."

Okay then, I admit that from a certain standpoint, this was indeed rather immoral of us as we were intentionally manipulating those who won the races. Since I was shameless enough to get the mages addicted to gambling in the first place, I no longer cared if I acted even more shamelessly. But based on my usual premonitions, I knew that good things like this wouldn't last long.

"The Mystical Blade's tax department is here again. They want to check our account books."

"Tsk, those carrion birds have such excellent noses. Tell them that this isn't something under their jurisdiction. We're not making any transactions or trades here, we're merely holding a competition. As for the tiny amount of betting going on… the Mage Country doesn't have a gambling tax yet. Tell them that they're free to come collect taxes from us after the Mage Country passes such a law!"

"Okay, but what about Her Ladyship?"

"Her Ladyship? Who's that?"

"Lady Cher. She's the one leading the tax department again…"

As expected of a daughter, never loyal to her family. Just how many days did I know her before she was turning on me…? Wait a moment, why am I calling her my daughter? This was all still just an unknown, an unknown!

"She's not Her Ladyship in our family, and I don't have a daughter! How am I supposed to live like this! I haven't even gotten married yet! What am I supposed to do if word of this spreads? That little girl Cher? Just make her wait outside!"

Suddenly, the young brat giving me the report had a strange expression as he looked at me. Then, I heard a soft cough behind me that sounded familiar.

"Cough, it reassures me to know that you think like this… Everyone, come check the accounts together. We're first going to go over Thorn Garden's sales taxes for their transactions. Be careful, the owner of this store is incredibly sly and clever. Only checking the account books won't be enough. We're going to start from the warehouse…"

The blue-haired Cher was most definitely angry as she started giving orders to her companions. It seemed that I was going to be losing a lot of money again—no—I couldn't give up! That girl seemed tough on the outside, but she had a soft heart inside. Perhaps begging her would work!

"Wait, wait, my good and obedient daughter, it's not easy for daddy to make some money. At least leave me some retirement funds."

At this moment, everyone was shocked at just how shameless I was capable of being. Meanwhile, a certain silly cat who brought Cher in here, fully intending to see the awkward situation it would put me in, was now laughing so hard that she was rolling around on the ground.

Well, in the end, thanks to all the mages' passion for gambling, I was highly successful in being able to make the money I needed for funding my projects.

Of course, there were some slight side effects, such as how my reputation became even stranger… Reputation? Could it be eaten?

Even I was surprised by how lacking in entertainment the mages were. Although the mages had so much knowledge, their daily lives were quite simple and boring. In front of certain temptations, particularly since the mages were bad at controlling their own spending habits, they were really easy to fool. I looked at my real accounts and simply did some rough estimations and discovered that the income from selling betting tickets far exceeded what I made from Thorn Garden.

And since I earned money, I was naturally going to spend it, as long as the money was worth my time. I was quite attracted by the treasure troves of several-hundred-year-old archmages. Their treasure troves wouldn't be in any way inferior to dragons' treasure troves, and since I was a mage as well, of course I would be attracted to the most by magical secrets. Of course, since my specialty was rather unconventional, this would attract some controversy.

"You want to make a trade with the 'Soul Demon Association' which is under the Sword of Order? They have an absolutely terrible reputation, and they're all undead mages. Graverobbing and stealing is practically an everyday occurrence for them. Are you sure that you want to associate with them? Aren't you worried that your reputation will be affected?"

"…Can my reputation get any worse than Yongye's?"

This one sentence of mine blocked off everyone else's complaints, and I satisfactorily looked through the information I purchased from the Soul Demon Association. From a certain standpoint, although Harloys taught me my foundational undead magic, most of it was actually self-taught in a haphazard fashion. It would be different from the Soul Demon Association which would have a systematic way of treating undead magic, and comparing my magic to theirs would benefit me greatly.

By the way, if it weren't for Yongye's reputation, perhaps this mage organization that was quite ill-reputed wouldn't have been willing to make an equivalent exchange with me. They indeed looked down on fair trades. Nor would they have given me such top-level undead magic information.

There was now a large amount of undead magic information before me, including much that was limited or one-of-kind. Although I still didn't know how to fix my undead magic Soul Imprint, it was sufficient to shore up the gaps in my knowledge as well as give me plenty of inspiration.

"…Amelia has already surpassed me. I'm so envious of her wood spirits and Forest of Dreams. With all this new undead magic information, I can still try creating something new even if I'm unable to create Undead Lords on the level of my Original Sins."

Note:

ED/N: Title is a Hearthstone reference.

Chapter end

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