Curse the Mainframe! 454 The Consequences

A tremor seemed to go through the young man's body, and the words from Andrew sunk in like a heavy stone. His feet were rooted to the ground, and he felt like he would be unable to move even if someone pushed him from behind.

His face was instantly ashen, and the words that Andrew said to him echoed in his mind incessantly.

The other veteran that had patted Lance on the shoulder previously glared at Andrew, dissatisfied.

Andrew saw her glare, but he didn't care. This was his philosophy. What could the other do? If others didn't want to listen, okay, fine. He didn't care, but it was his right to speak however he wanted.

Moreover, it wasn't like he was spitting curse words at the other party. This was truly what he felt and what he considered sound advice to the other party. If he was like him, then they would feel the same way.

The other veteran, Keiko, comforted Lance. "Don't listen to him. We were all like you first. Some of us end up numbing ourselves, while others end up going crazy and dying just like that. Others, like Andrew, don't numb themselves at all. They want to take on the entire responsibility of the loss of life. But even then, I don't think he's quite sane."

Andrew returned Keiko's glare at her provocative words, but he didn't deny it. He curled his lips and remained silent. It didn't matter to him what the others thought, and it didn't matter to him that the newbie wouldn't listen to him either.

"Andrew don't lead the newbie astray with your words," she said to him with a bad tone.

Andrew snorted. "I can say whatever I want. Whether he wants to listen or not, if he has a conscience like me, then these words are the best advice to him. If he's like you, who doesn't have a heart, then he can listen to you."

"You-!" Keiko's inner fire was instantly ignited, and she felt her heart burn.

Because Andrew's words had poked a sore spot in her.

Andrew sneered. "Why? No words? You're speechless, right? Because you know that deep down, I'm right."

Despite his provocative words, his tone was rather calm, which was what made the fire in her burn that much more – it felt like it threatened to eat her up whole.

His eyes were ice cold, and she couldn't like him no matter how hard she tried.

Her eyes shook, and Lance could see that she was shaken, yet his eyes remained rather blank.

Andrew's words continued to echo in his mind, and he could not choke down the emotions that came together with it. He had been ignoring it all this while, trying to tell himself that he could… sacrifice these people for the good of his family, but Andrew's words had blown a giant hole in the ship that was his mind.

Now, that ship was quickly filling up with water, and threatening to sink into the murky waters below.

How many people had already died?

How many people had been sacrificed in such a bloody and painful matter for them to save their own families from the same fate?

As he thought about it, his stomach churned.

Lance lurched to the side as he spat up bile and vomit, his face pale.

The self-loathing that he'd been ignoring surged up like a tidal wave, sweeping him along with it. Yet, he did not cry, unlike before.

The words that Andrew said really resonated with him. What right did he have to cry when he was part of the reason why people were suffering?

He didn't deserve to cry. Not with everything that he had stood by and condoned. Even though his hands were supposedly clean…

Heh.

He would never be clean again.

Lance would never be able to look at his family and feel proud of himself. They didn't know… what he had done. The blood that landed on his hands to keep them safe.

Even now, his family did not know what they did. What price was paid.

But Lance couldn't tell them. If they knew, what kind of eyes would they look at him with?

Fear? Hatred? Sadness?

Or… acceptance?

The thought of it made him choke a little inside even more. It slowly chipped away at his sanity, and he breathed hard, heaving.

The rough cobble under his palms scratched him, and he felt like… the abyss was about to swallow him whole.

At this time, both Andrew and Keiko had noticed the effect that their words were having on the newbie.

Keiko glared harder at Andrew. Her eyes were anxious. This was not the first time that Andrew's words had driven a newbie to insanity.

She had already lost track of how many newbies had broken down in the same way, which was why she was particularly anxious. This newbie as well… looked like he was about to go down that path as well.

Just looking at his expressions and his face, she could tell that he had suddenly come to terms with the things that he had stood by and watched over the past few days. Though he didn't have any blood on his hands yet, they were already stained beyond what a normal person would go through.

Yet, what could they do?

Could they leave their family, for their souls to be damned for eternity? They couldn't reincarnate, they couldn't die peacefully either.

If they didn't follow *his* orders, then their souls would all be… obliterated.

She couldn't help but try and pull the newbie out of the fog.

She gripped his arm and pulled up him. "Wake up! Think about your family. Will you condemn them for all eternity? You have to know… once they die in *his* hands, then they will never again be able to return."

Andrew curled his lips at her words. These words… what use did they have? "Yes," he said, "think about everything that you're doing for your family. But never forget the blood that's already on your hands. You've sacrificed them for the good of your family, so you should remember them. Even if you have nightmares every single night, you should never complain."

As soon as Andrew finished his words, Keiko immediately punched him in the face.

"Shut up, bastard! You're not helping! I know that! We all know that! But do you think we have a choice? We don't have a choice! With *him*, we will never have a choice!"

"Do we not have a choice? Ha. You're sorely mistaken. We always have a choice. It's just whether or not you can handle the consequences of that choice, that's all."

"You-!"

This time, the two of them got into a fist fight, but they weren't that serious. Though they were trading blows, none of them were meant to kill. They were just venting their anger and emotions.

Though they were part of the same team, this was very normal, and it wouldn't affect their teamwork.

After all, they had all made choices that brought them to where they were today. For the sake of their families and loved ones, all of them had sacrificed so much that killing someone else who was also going through the same thing…

Well.

They all bore the consequences on their own.

None of them were able to share the burden of it, and it sat like a heavy weight upon their shoulders, like they were holding up a world on their own. A world that was the weight of their loved ones' lives.

Some went mad, others grew numb, and the rest… made a different choice.

What that choice was made remained to be seen.

Chapter end

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