Chapter 88: Embarrassing for Alchemy
Chapter 88: Embarrassing for Alchemy
"Does Mars have any moons?" Fred asked, busy with his homework. He had recently discovered to his dismay that he had missed a homework assignment for astronomy class and was now rushing to complete it.
"Mars has two moons, but they're quite small," replied Albert, sitting across from Fred and flipping through a book. "The closer a planet is to the sun, the less likely it is to have moons. Mercury and Venus don't have any."
"Then, between Mercury and Venus, which planet is closer to the sun?" Fred inquired as he quickly jotted down some notes on parchment before continuing.
"Mercury is closer," Albert answered.
A few minutes later, Fred stretched his arms above his head and handed the parchment over to Albert, who was sitting across the table from him. "Finally done. Can you check if there are any mistakes?"
The astronomy homework was to draw a diagram of the solar system, detailing the major planets and labeling their names and number of moons.
Albert glanced at the diagram on the parchment and immediately spotted Fred's error. "You've mixed up the positions of Saturn and Jupiter."
Fred took the parchment back and quickly corrected the positions of the two planets.
After finishing his homework, Fred picked up a piece of fruit from the table, took a bite, and turned to his friend George, asking, "Have you finished yours?"
"Of course, I finished ages ago," George replied nonchalantly.
"Traitor! How could you do your homework without me?" Fred feigned anger.
"I tried to get you to join me, but you didn't come. It's not my fault," George retorted, rolling his eyes. "I remember what you said back then..."
"Let me copy yours when you're done," Lee Jordan piped in with a mischievous grin.
"Yes, that's exactly what you said," Fred agreed.
"And you didn't let me copy!"
"You never asked!"
The twins bickered playfully, their banter a testament to their boredom; if they were busier, they wouldn't have had time for such antics.
"What book are you reading?" Lee Jordan asked curiously, having just finished his homework. One of the perks of doing homework with Albert was having immediate answers to questions, which usually meant faster completion compared to working alone.
"Fool's Alchemy," Albert replied, turning the book around to show its cover to Lee Jordan. It was the same book Professor Broad introduced, titled "Simple Alchemy."
"I don't think they teach alchemy at school," Angelina commented as she approached, holding a monocular for the astronomy class. She sat down a couple of chairs away from Albert. "When are you guys heading to the astronomy tower? Class will be starting soon."
"In about ten minutes. I don't want to be stuck up there in the wind any longer than necessary," Albert replied, taking out his pocket watch and placing it beside him as he continued browsing through the book.
It was a thin book, and even if he finished it, it wouldn't count towards his reading task for the Reading Maniac title.
The author of "Simple Alchemy" was Zoco.
Yes, the very same Zoco who owned the joke shop in Hogsmeade.
To be honest, Albert was quite surprised when he first saw the author's name.
Of course, one could easily guess the content of a book written by the owner of a joke shop.
The book discussed the relationship between alchemy and magic.
The seemingly impressive Invisibility Cloak was described in the book as merely a cloak enchanted with a Disillusionment Charm.
Indeed, that was what it was—an "Invisibility Cloak."
The Disillusionment Charm created the illusion of an object being a mundane rock or something equally uninteresting.
However, in the eyes of some wizards, enchanting a cloak with such a charm was unnecessary, as they could just as easily cast it on themselves.
Albert couldn't quite understand why Professor Broad had recommended this book to him. He flipped through it again and finally settled on an excuse—the book included instructions for making amulets.
Indeed, the book did contain instructions for making amulets, but not using the traditional method of the Guarding Tree. Instead, it employed the use of the Expelling Charm.
While amulets made with the Expelling Charm could repel certain dark creatures, they also caused inconvenience to the wearer.
Carrying such an amulet meant that owl post would have difficulty reaching you, as the charm would repel the delivery owls just as it did other creatures. Typically, wizards who made these amulets were not skilled enough in charms to further manipulate the Expelling Charm.
True to Zoco's style, the items created were more comical than practical.
"Simple Alchemy" also recorded methods for creating prank items, but these odd creations were not well-received by most alchemists.
Upon finishing the book, Albert felt it ought to be renamed "Quirky Alchemy," as it was more befitting of its content.
Especially amusing was the final entry in the book—a supposed alchemical item to ward off vampires, called the Garlic Cross.
The name alone had almost made Albert burst out laughing.
The item was as the name suggested—a cross that emitted a strong garlic scent, taking advantage of vampires' aversion to garlic.
The simple method for creating the Garlic Cross was as follows: Craft a wooden cross, extract garlic using alcohol, mix the garlic extract with beeswax or essential oil using a water bath, and finally, thoroughly coat the cross with the mixture, infusing it with the scent of garlic...
There was an odd sense of humor in carrying around a garlic-scented cross.
Well, this book certainly was an embarrassment to alchemy! "Is alchemy interesting?" Fred asked casually.
"Interesting? Not particularly," Albert replied, closing the book and handing it to Fred. "But this book certainly is. My perspective on alchemy has changed after reading it."
"Let me see..." Fred flipped through a few pages, then said with a hint of regret, "It's a bit too advanced for us. I can't understand most of it."
"If there were alchemy classes, they would probably be an elective for third-years and above. It's a shame Hogwarts doesn't offer them," Albert said, sounding slightly disappointed.
"Let me see." George took the book from Fred and suddenly exclaimed in surprise, startling those around him.
"What are you yelling about?" Lee Jordan scowled at George.
"Look, you probably didn't notice who the author of this book is," George said excitedly.
"Who's the author?"
"Zoco." George was already engrossed in the section about creating joke items.
"Zoco from Zoco's Joke Shop?" the others asked, intrigued.
"Yes, that's him." Ignoring George's resentful glare, Albert tucked the book into his bag. "Let's go. If you're interested in the book, I'll lend it to you later, and you can read it at your leisure."
"By the way, what sparked your interest in alchemy?" George asked curiously as they climbed the spiral staircase.
"When I was discussing Dark Magic defense with Professor Broad, the topic of amulets came up, and he suggested I read this book, so I borrowed it from the library," Albert explained with a helpless expression. "I just didn't expect the content to be so... unexpected."
Could the items in the book even be considered alchemy?
Albert kept his doubts to himself.
(End of Chapter)
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