https://novelcool.info/chapter/Chapter-503-White-Zebra-Sharing-White-Zebra-x2-Part-2-/12968970/
https://novelcool.info/chapter/Chapter-504-Heavenly-Pig-s-Misconduct-News-from-the-Immortal-Palace-Part-2-/12968989/
Chapter 504: Heavenly Pig's Misconduct, News from the Immortal Palace (Part 1)
Chapter 504: Heavenly Pig's Misconduct, News from the Immortal Palace (Part 1)
December 9, 2024
"What's with those expressions?"
Heavenly Pig looked at them, his face filled with displeasure and annoyance. "You're all as timid as mice. It's just talk, and they don't even know about it."
"Moreover, I'm not talking nonsense. It's highly likely that this is the case. Ask yourselves, don't you think so too? You're just afraid to speak..."
He noticed the crowd's growing disdain.
The crowd became even more embarrassed.
Daring to be angry but not daring to speak, they glanced at each other and realized that everyone was in a difficult situation, wanting to slip away unnoticed.
But...
Shouldn't we find an explanation?
"Ahem, what was it, Heavenly Pig, you're drunk. Why don't we head back first and drink again some other day?"
"Drunk my ass!"
"I'm not drunk!"
"Come on, drink! Keep drinking for three days and three nights!"
Heavenly Pig waved his hand.
Drunk?!
Those who are drunk never think they are drunk.
They would never admit it! The main point is that they claim they can't get drunk.
Even if they pass out from drinking, their mouths remain stubbornly closed.
Seeing this, the crowd felt extremely helpless.
You're not even drunk yet?!
You dare to say such things, you're not afraid of death!
But if you're not afraid of death, we are!
If you keep talking like this, you'll really be asking for trouble.
It's fine if you're not afraid of death.
If death comes, it comes, and it might even free up the position of a Grand Marshal. But if you involve us, that would be a real disaster.
We didn't say anything, and we've been trying to persuade this jerk!
This won't do, we can't listen anymore.
Some things don't need to be said, even listening to a few more sentences is a sin! They gritted their teeth in frustration.
One person's eyes lit up. "What was it, I need to take a piss."
"You guys continue, continue."
After saying this, he quickly ran off.
Heavenly Pig frowned upon seeing this. "Pfft!"
"A lazy donkey shits and pisses a lot."
"How much have you drunk to need to relieve yourself?"
"Let's continue!"
The others' eyes lit up.
Wow, he's really drunk!
At least everyone here is at the peak of the Thirteenth Stage or has Fourteenth Stage cultivation. Why would they need to relieve themselves? Even if they drink more, their Immortal Energy circulates and is directly absorbed, right?
After all, what we're drinking is Immortal Brew, not some ordinary brew that requires excretion! If you didn't even suspect this, you must be drunk.
We've thought of various ways, even considering finding someone to secretly 'send us a message' using 'event escape', but it turns out that 'urine escape' could solve the problem...
Why didn't you say it earlier!
Realizing this, they all spoke up.
Some mentioned urine escape, some mentioned excrement escape, and others mentioned event escape...
Some even brought up their wives giving birth.
But he doesn't even have a child, let alone a wife.
"Damn it."
"A bunch of jerks, drinking like this, you cowards!"
Heavenly Pig sneered.
Just as he was about to get drunk alone, he heard someone calling out to him, repeatedly.
"Who is it?!"
"Who dares to disturb my good mood?!"
He rushed out with his Nine-Toothed Rake and saw...
Wow!
It's actually an Immortal Palace Messenger?!
His body trembled, and he shuddered, and his drunkenness cleared up a bit. "Oh, it's the Messenger. I had some free time and drank a few cups. I came a bit late, did you wait long?"
"..."
The Messenger frowned upon seeing his drunk appearance. "Heavenly Pig, the Celestial River has been disturbed, and there seems to be demonic activity."
"Heavenly Pig, the Grand Marshal, is ordered to go there immediately, slay the demons, and maintain peace in the Celestial River, restoring order to the vast heavens."
"Until the demons are eliminated, Heavenly Pig shall not return."
Upon hearing this, Heavenly Pig's eyebrows furrowed.
Damn it...
My vacation!!!
But he couldn't disobey the Grand Marshal's order, so he had no choice but to accept it and set off.
Not long after leaving, the cold wind blew.
The combination of anger and drunkenness made him feel even more agitated.
"Damn!"
"What kind of place is the Celestial River that demons can cause trouble?"
"But..."
"If I can see a few more Moon Fairies or meet that person again, it wouldn't be bad, hehehe."
The drunkenness took over.
Many times, he was indeed very... impulsive.
Of course, impulsiveness is a nicer way of putting it.
A less polite term would be 'drunken madness'.
After two cups of mouse urine, he became oblivious to the world.
Fortunately, at this moment, Heavenly Pig still had some basic rationality, and he also knew that military orders couldn't be disobeyed. He hurriedly grumbled while carrying his Nine-Toothed Rake and headed out.
Speaking of which, Heavenly Pig used to be a man of misfortune.
His family had been farmers for generations, but in this situation, farming had no future. With the slightest disturbance, the entire family, clan, and even the whole village could face dire consequences.
Even without any demonic disturbances, relying solely on farming couldn't support a family. There were starving people everywhere.
In the past, Heavenly Pig was an honest and diligent farmer. Although he was skilled in farming, he was disliked by others. Fortunately, he was good at shoveling manure, which made him suitable for raising pigs...
This Nine-Toothed Rake was a tool he used to shovel pig manure and feed the pigs, so after cultivating and becoming an immortal, he made it his primary spirit treasure.
It was one of the rare 'mysterious weapons' among the immortals.
At least in the vast Immortal Palace, only he, Heavenly Pig, would use such a weapon.
However...
It was said that there was another Heavenly Pig in the Immortal Palace, with the same name.
But he wasn't a Grand Marshal; he was a 'Divine Descendant'.
That person, however, wasn't a Grand Marshal.
Along the way, he staggered, leaning on his drunkenness. Although he was complaining, his speed was still fast.
Before long, he arrived at the bank of the Celestial River.
The so-called Celestial River...
Wasn't a river hanging in the sky.
Instead, it was an infinite gathering of stars, a galaxy formed by the scattered light of countless stars, stretching for an unknown distance...
Within these stars, various grand arrays were intertwined, and the abundant Immortal Energy within made it a suitable place for raising Immortal Birds, beasts, insects, and fish.
He was the Heavenly General Yuan Shuai...
Cough.
That is, the Celestial River Marshal.
Hmm...
To put it nicely, he's a Marshal, after all, he's in charge of the vast Celestial River.
But if you want to put it bluntly...
Cough.
A tiny official position.
But at least it's a step higher than the Horse Keeper, and he's an official with a rank, which is a proper position.
However, if you really think about it, it's not that different from the Horse Keeper.
How to explain it...
After all, they both manage animals.
Fortunately, he doesn't have to feed them, otherwise, he would literally be an alternative Horse Keeper.
Nevertheless, this position, although not considered grand, is one that countless people couldn't obtain even with begging.
After all, it's an official position in the Immortal Palace, and he also holds the rank of Marshal.
Moreover, he has a 'navy' under his command in the Celestial River.
From this perspective, it's still quite good.
...
Along the way, with the cold wind blowing, or rather, the 'Celestial Wind' blowing, Heavenly General Yuan Shuai thought a lot.
He also calmed down considerably.
When he asked his soldiers, the response he got was: "Demons at work?"
"What demons?"
"Who told the Marshal?"
"No one!"
"The Celestial River is calm, with no abnormalities, not even a bird or a fish has gone missing."
Heavenly General Yuan Shuai: "..."
"I understand, you may leave."
Dismissing his subordinates, Heavenly General Yuan Shuai was speechless.
"Damn, is someone making fun of me?"
"They made me guard the Celestial River in the middle of the night, and there's nothing to do, disturbing my peace for no reason."
"They're asking for a beating."
He felt annoyed.
The moment this thought came to mind, he closed the door and poured himself a good amount of alcohol.
As the intoxication took hold, he prepared to go out and hunt for some 'game' to satisfy his cravings.
The creatures in the Celestial River were all good stuff.
Even if it's just a chicken... that's still a chicken that the Immortal Palace personnel would fancy. It might not be extraordinary, but the taste is absolutely rare in the world.
Of course, usually, even Heavenly General Yuan Shuai wouldn't have the qualifications to cook for himself.
Unless it's approved from above.
But that's in normal circumstances.
Privately...
That's a different story.
The Immortal Palace is a large establishment, would the people above really come down to register and record these birds, beasts, insects, and fish?
Even if they have a rough idea, it's just a general number.
As long as the people below don't go overboard and cause trouble, it's not a big deal.
Of course...
If you really want to be stubborn, there's nothing to be done.
However, Heavenly General Yuan Shuai is a mortal who cultivated to this point, and as the saying goes, 'the child of a poor family grows up fast', he already understands the ways of the world.
Therefore, he has become very familiar with the Immortal officials in charge of breeding, and privately, they often hunt together, so naturally, they're like 'brothers', turning a blind eye to each other's actions.
If the higher-ups ask, just say they were 'eaten by their colleagues' and it's fine.
After all, the creatures in the Celestial River are diverse, for example, there are chickens and insects. It's normal for chickens to eat insects, right? Not to mention, even among the fish, bigger fish eat smaller fish, and such incidents are common.
This reason has never failed~
As long as you don't go and eat those at the top of the food chain.
"..."
Heavenly General Yuan Shuai greeted everyone along the way, swaying as he walked, and soon arrived at the depths of the Celestial River.
"What shall we hunt today?"
He was slightly drunk, and as he scanned the area, he prepared to lock onto a target.
However, he didn't notice a strand of black aura emerging from the depths of the Celestial River, which instantly drilled into his mind and then concealed itself.
Heavenly General Yuan Shuai didn't detect it.
He remained slightly drunk.
He looked around, but instead of finding his target, he spotted several Moon Fairies playing near the 'shore' on the opposite bank of the Celestial River.
The abundant Immortal Aura within the Celestial River was almost condensed into a 'liquid', and naturally, it was possible to play in it.
Amidst the mist, their clothes were stuck to their snow-white skin, revealing their perfect figures that were both hidden and revealed.
Heavenly General Yuan Shuai took a glance and couldn't move his eyes away.
Gulp...
He became even more drunk.
At the same time, his eyes gradually turned red.
It's not that Heavenly General Yuan Shuai lacked willpower or was obsessed with women.
But these Moon Fairies...
They were truly beautiful! So captivating.
Which official could resist such a test?
For a moment, he was particularly moved.
If he could 'cloud and rain' with one of the Moon Fairies...
No, if he could 'cloud and rain' with these Moon Fairies...
Hiss!
Once the evil thought arose, it became hard to suppress.
If he couldn't control it, he might as well not control it.
What's the big deal? He's the Heavenly General Yuan Shuai, and even if he doesn't have achievements, he has endured hardships.
The Dark Moon Star has a high status, and that person has long since merged with the Dark Moon Star and can be called the 'Moon God'. But...
That's her! Moreover, in the end, isn't the Dark Moon Star also under the jurisdiction of the Immortal Palace? Since it's under the jurisdiction of the Immortal Palace...
After working and toiling for the Immortal Palace for half his life, can't he enjoy a little?
"Damn it!"
Once this thought arose, it became hard to suppress.
Evil thoughts arise from the edge of the heart, and his body... also became uncontrollable.
His eyes flashed with red light as he dived into the 'water', approaching those Moon Fairies.
The Moon Fairies were playing.
Although they all had cultivation, it was obviously not as high as Heavenly General Yuan Shuai's.
They didn't notice anything until Heavenly General Yuan Shuai touched them.
Heavenly General Yuan Shuai used the Transformation Spell to transform into a fish and swam between their smooth, white, and slender legs, occasionally brushing against them.
"Ah!"
"There's something in the water!"
One of the Moon Fairies exclaimed.
The other Moon Fairies laughed.
"Haha, there have always been things in the Celestial River."
"There are many small creatures."
"You can't finish eating them all."
But soon, they couldn't laugh anymore.
Each person had a peculiar expression on their face, their bodies writhing.
"There's really something there!"
"Oh my, it's touching my leg!"
"It's touching my leg too."
"Ouch, it seems to have bitten me."
"What a strange fish, catch it quickly!"
"Ouch!"
"Quick, grab it!"
"It ran over there!"
"..."
The Moon Fairies chattered and chased after each other, playing and frolicking.
Heavenly Pig, however, was even more intrigued. He wandered among the Moon Fairies, occasionally 'groping' them, feeling incredibly satisfied and elated.
But...
He had let his guard down.
It was unclear if he was intoxicated or if being transformed into a fish made it inconvenient to use his divine abilities, but in the end, he was caught by the Moon Fairies.
"We've caught it!"
"Let's see how I deal with him!"
"Ah?!"
"This fish... it's so bizarre!"
"How is it that there's a human face on the fish's body?!"
Just as they were shocked and puzzled, the fish suddenly spoke human words: "Burp~~"
"Isn't it just a human face?"
"Fairy ladies, come, let's continue playing and have fun together~!"
"Ah???!"
"This... he's a transformed human!"
"Damn it!"
"This scoundrel!!!"
"Scoundrel!"
"Quick, catch him and report to the Star Lord!"
The Moon Fairies were flustered and flushed, each of them trembling with anger!
How hateful!
Just now, this creature had touched their thighs, and even...
They had been bitten several times, but they didn't think much of it at the time, assuming it was just a mischievous fish. But now, it was clear that it wasn't just a playful fish; it was a pervert!
They were shy and furious. They immediately used their own techniques to capture the fish and set out to find the Dark Moon Star Lord.
Heavenly Pig was caught in their hands, and at first, he felt comfortable and slippery, and there was even a fragrant scent, making him reluctant to leave.
But when he heard that they were going to report to the Dark Moon Star Lord, he was terrified.
"I'm doomed!"
"If the Dark Moon Star Lord finds out about this, and then..."
He made a guess based on his own speculation.
These Moon Fairies were likely the Immortal Palace Lord's concubines or future consorts.
And he had actually...
Slap! His fish fin suddenly slapped him.
How foolish! What did you drink, horse urine, that you've forgotten your own name?
You're so bold, daring to flirt with the Moon Fairies and the Immortal Palace Lord's Imperial Concubines!
Die, you!!!
In an instant, countless thoughts flashed through his mind.
He was stunned.
He was also scared.
But when he thought about the dire consequences awaiting him, he felt unable to accept it.
After all, this was no small matter.
This was a matter of life and death!
If he was lucky, he might be able to escape with a guilty conscience and then undergo 'Labor Reform'.
If luck wasn't on his side, and he would undoubtedly die, his soul would scatter, and there would be no rebirth.
A complete end to his existence!
Immediately afterward, he thought about his past.
From being a first-stage mortal, feeding pigs and cleaning manure, he had cultivated to become the Heavenly General Yuan Shuai...
Was it easy for him?
Now, because of a drunken mistake, he had to face death?
Hiss!!!
Unacceptable!
Unacceptable!!!
I must escape.
Although the chances of escaping from the pursuit of the Immortal Palace personnel are less than one in a hundred million, staying here would be even more miserable.
So...
I have no choice! I must escape!!!
He clenched his teeth.
Boom!
He forcefully broke through the Moon Fairies' seal with his own power, shocking them and sending them flying before turning to flee.
"That is...?"
"Damn scoundrel, he dares to escape!"
"Who is he? Do you know him?"
"I don't know him, but his treasure is so unique. I think there are very few people in the entire Immortal Palace who have seen it. Just ask around, and we'll know!"
"Yes!"
"Let's report to the Star Lord first!"
"..."
They quickened their pace and hurried to find the Dark Moon Star Lord.
And they reported the matter.
"What?!"
The Dark Moon Star Lord frowned, furious! The Dark Moon Star was a pure and sacred place, and the Moon Fairies had always cultivated in purity. Each of them was very innocent, and some might even describe them as naive and sweet.
Over the years, due to the Dark Moon Star Lord's reputation, no one dared to treat them inappropriately.
But...
Someone dared to flirt with them?!
If they hadn't caught this pervert, would this lecherous thief have continued to defile the Dark Moon Star?
What did he think of the Dark Moon Star Lord?
Am I, the Dark Moon Star Lord, just a decoration?
"Wait here, and I will definitely get justice for you!"
Boom!!!
The Dark Moon Star Lord trembled, and her divine aura surged, illuminating the heavens.
But she didn't take direct action.
After all...
Her status was clear.
To capture a small pervert, and for the Dark Moon Star Lord to personally intervene, was a bit too much.
(End of Chapter)
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