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Chapter 35: Nephew, I Couldn't Help It
Chapter 35: Nephew, I Couldn't Help It
"Wow, that young Taoist is so handsome! Let's take a picture with him!"
A young couple watched Zhang Lingyu walk past, impressed by his otherworldly charm and good looks. They couldn't resist calling out to him.
Zhang Lingyu pretended not to hear and continued walking.
"Jeez, what a bad temper. Are all Taoists from Longhu Mountain this arrogant?" The young man in the couple grumbled.
Lu Ke, grinning, sauntered over and stood between them, putting an arm around each of them. "Hey, now, what's this? Our Celestial Master's Mansion is the most welcoming place. If he won't take a picture with you, I'll be happy to."
"Ah!" The girl blushed as he embraced her, her breath quickening as she stole a glance at Lu Ke's profile.
Seeing his girlfriend's reaction, the young man immediately felt a twinge of jealousy. He quickly raised his guard and pulled Lu Ke away from them.
"This one is even more handsome than the last. The last one I could show off on social media, but if this guy sticks around, my girlfriend might be swept away."
"Thank you, Taoist, but it's not necessary. We have to go." The young man politely replied and quickly led his girlfriend away, looking back every few steps.
This reaction was quite amusing.
Lu Ke chuckled and turned around, only to find Zhang Lingyu standing right in front of him, examining him closely.
"Hello, Uncle Lingyu." Lu Ke greeted with a smile.
"Participants in the Grand Ritual of the Heavenly Emperor must have qualifications. You are competing as a young paranormal under thirty, so you don't need to call me Uncle during this time." Zhang Lingyu said formally.
"Oh, got it. I'll just call you Lingyu then." Lu Ke didn't hesitate, and with a casual wave, he continued, "Lingyu, what's up?"
Zhang Lingyu was speechless.
"Have you been practicing some kind of seduction technique recently?"
I'm just naturally charming, what do you mean by seduction technique? Do those active skills that use qi even compare to my passive charm?
"Seems like you're pretty familiar with seduction techniques, Lingyu. Have you encountered any paranormals who use them before?" Lu Ke countered calmly.
Certain happy yet painful memories surfaced, and Zhang Lingyu quickly changed the subject.
"I remember you used to be dignified and humble, diligent in your morning readings and evening practices, and very hardworking in your cultivation, with a strong and resilient character."
"Hey, Lingyu, you're being too polite." Lu Ke waved his hand, feeling a bit embarrassed by the praise, and his planned antics seemed unnecessary now.
"Go on, I'm listening."
Zhang Lingyu shook his head. "How did you change so much in just a year? You've become so frivolous and unrestrained."
Lu Ke's eyes widened. What? He just took a picture with someone, how did that make him frivolous and unrestrained?
Well, fine. Lu Ke had been planning to be generous and not hold a grudge about Zhang Lingyu defeating him, but now it seemed he needed to give this young uncle a lesson.
"Uncle, you're right. I've been a bit self-destructive lately." Lu Ke looked ashamed, straightening his posture. "I've encountered some setbacks recently, and my Dao heart has been damaged. Could you offer me some guidance?"
Seeing him revert to calling him Uncle, Zhang Lingyu frowned but nodded. "We are fellow disciples. It's my duty to guide you. Is it a problem with your cultivation or something else?"
"It's like this."
Lu Ke's face turned red, and he spoke hesitantly, as if embarrassed. "A while ago, Xia He, one of the Four Madmen of the Quanxing, came to our school to capture Zhang Chulan."
Zhang Lingyu was taken aback by the familiar name and asked, with a slightly unnatural tone, "What happened with her?"
"Xia He, that Quanxing demon, has a very promiscuous nature. She can't resist handsome men." Lu Ke covered his face in shame. "I go to the same school as Zhang Chulan, and I accidentally ran into her. Because I'm somewhat good-looking, she kidnapped me."
Zzzt.
Zhang Lingyu felt his brain explode. The meditation techniques he had practiced since childhood were shattered by this shocking revelation. His lips trembled, and his voice was hoarse as he asked, hoping for a different answer.
"Then what? She, she didn't do anything to you, did she?"
No, no, Xia He wouldn't be that desperate... Zhang Lingyu glanced at Lu Ke's face and physique, his expression growing even more grim.
This hardly seemed like desperation.
"She has a thing for handsome guys, especially pure young men like you who haven't yet lost their innocence. She tried every trick in the book to seduce you—black stockings, bunny outfits, nurse uniforms, flight attendant costumes, police uniforms, you name it. She tried to corrupt your moral fiber with all sorts of ridiculous outfits."
Lu Ke stammered, his face turning increasingly red.
Zhang Lingyu felt as if a green hat was already forming on his head. Recalling Xia He's notorious reputation as the 'Bone Scraper,' his vision went dark, and he feared it might be more than just one hat.
"You've always been steadfast in your principles, right? You wouldn't be swayed by such a femme fatale, would you?"
Holding on to the last shred of hope, Zhang Lingyu forced out the question.
Lu Ke clenched his teeth, his eyes turning red. "I, I definitely held out as long as I could."
"I told myself she was one of the Four Fiends, not a good person. I reminded myself that as a disciple of Longhu Mountain, I must remain pure and disciplined. I reminded myself that as a college student, I must adhere to the core socialist values!"
"Then what?" A glimmer of hope appeared in Zhang Lingyu's eyes.
"Then..."
"Then..."
"Then what? Spit it out!" Zhang Lingyu was getting impatient.
"Then I couldn't hold out anymore, and I gave this demoness all my savings from nineteen years of life!"
Lu Ke covered his face, sobbing softly, as if mourning the loss of his innocence. "We fought for two days and two nights, from morning till night, and then from night till morning, over and over until we were both exhausted and couldn't move."
He paused, his voice choked with emotion. "We tore through a dozen outfits, and the bed collapsed. Everything was a mess."
"But fortunately, my skills were good. After the fight, Xia He was conquered by me. She not only decided not to kill me but also said she would leave the Four Fiends and start a new life with me, as a loving couple."
Zhang Lingyu's eyes were vacant, and he was silent, feeling as if nothing mattered anymore. But then he noticed a smug smile on Lu Ke's face.
Decades of cultivation and self-discipline finally crumbled. He clenched his teeth and grabbed Lu Ke's collar, his control slipping. "Why are you so smug? Are you lying to me? Are you lying to me!"
Lu Ke waved his hands frantically. "Uncle, how could I lie to you? I'm smug because I realized my charm as a man is pretty strong. Even the mighty Bone Scraper, one of the Four Fiends, fell for me. Doesn't that show how capable I am?"
"Every man understands this kind of smugness, Uncle. You're a man too, right?"
"If you don't believe me, I have a photo as a keepsake." Lu Ke pulled out a photo from his pocket and handed it over.
Zhang Lingyu's hands trembled as he took the photo. The sight of the man and woman on it made his heart race with anger. He clutched the photo, speechless, and turned to leave. But after a few steps, he spat out a mouthful of blood, his vision blurring as he collapsed.
Before he lost consciousness, he heard Lu Ke shouting.
"Help! Lingyu Real Person has fainted! Someone, help!"
...
Lu Ke watched as the panicked crowd carried Zhang Lingyu away. He calmly picked up the photo, looking at the naked Xia He and himself, who was also bare and giving a victory sign. He smiled silently.
As everyone knows, photos can't be Photoshopped.
Thank you to all the readers for your support. I'm especially grateful to those who have voted for this little book with monthly votes and recommendations. I feel a bit ashamed, being a new writer with my first book, but thank you for your understanding and patience.
(￣з￣)
The new book chart for the Infinite Multiverse is already in the top thirty, and I hope it can make it into the top ten before it falls off the chart.
Electronic pets, level up.
(End of Chapter)
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