Chapter 348: South Park Arc
Chapter 348: South Park Arc (End)
Jesus’s appearance didn’t surprise Feng Bu Jue much—he was in South Park, after all. In this world, characters like Jesus, Satan, God, Cthulhu, O Bama, and anyone else could pop up at any time.
In South Park, Jesus was usually just a soft-spoken, approachable commoner. He hosted a talk show at the TV station and was also a member of the superhero squad. But when crises struck, he’d unleash an overbearing aura and astonishing combat power to save the day.
“We saw your selfless act of sacrificing yourself, [bleep]! Don’t worry—Super Best Friend to the rescue!” another voice boomed as its sound system activated.
Everyone turned again toward the sound and saw several figures descending from the sky within beams of light, landing a dozen meters from Jesus’s side.
“These data…” R2 murmured, watching the newcomers. “Are these unique bosses of this scenario…? They’re unexpectedly strong.”
“Can’t the Super Best Friends be strong?” Feng Bu Jue shot back, his face twisted in mock exasperation as he gestured toward the descending deities. “Buddha, whose abilities remain unclear—rumored to appear and vanish without a trace. Muhammad, who controls flames. The Hindu god Krishna, who can transform into any creature. Joseph Smith, who spits out frozen rays. And Lao Tzu, the Taoist deity who manipulates spiritual energy. And… wait, huh?”
Feng Bu Jue paused mid-sentence, glancing at Jesus. “Where’s Seaman? (Seaman—he can breathe underwater and talk to fish. This character’s a parody of DC’s Aquaman; plus, since ‘Seaman’ sounds like another word, his Super Best Friend teammates tease him about it constantly.) Why isn’t he here?”
The group of deities erupted into undignified laughter. “Hear that? He said ‘Seeman…’” One of them deliberately slowed down, savoring the word before the entire group burst into cackles again.
“Okay… I shouldn’t have asked,” Feng Bu Jue muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in resignation.
“I get it now.” R2’s expression suddenly stilled. “This is the system’s help.”
Feng Bu Jue had been pondering whether this divine intervention was because he’d saved Stan’s family earlier. But R2’s words made him discard that theory instantly. “Oh… So the system wants me alive and mobilized these guys? Clever.”
As they spoke, the six Super Best Friends had already charged forward, unleashing their abilities against the Origin Organization’s derivative beings. In moments, the playground of South Park Elementary was awash in ice and fire, flesh flying, corpses littering the ground. The derivative beings were no match—they scattered like leaves, disintegrating into data fragments.
L2 didn’t even have time to deliver a final threat before turning tail. She knew every Super Best Friend member could fly, so she bolted while her minions were still buying time.
“If the system can summon divine-level characters like this,” Feng Bu Jue remarked casually as the battle concluded, “why not use this method to wipe out derivatives in other scenarios? These ferocious deities are way more efficient than hiding Gms among players.”
“You’re sharp to pick that up,” R2 replied. “But I can’t answer that.”
“Oh? Interesting—not ‘I don’t know,’ but ‘I can’t answer.’” Feng Bu Jue smirked, recalling R2’s words at the shopping mall. “Let me guess… The system isn’t trying to eliminate you. It’s using those scenarios to test and select. That’s why Gms hunt players in standard scenarios. But these Origin Organization-designed sandboxes are cheating—going against the system’s will. So it strikes back without mercy.”
“I’m not authorized to confirm or deny any implications in your speech,” R2 interrupted. “I’ll only say this: Normally, the system wouldn’t dispatch divine-level bosses recklessly. Otherwise, wouldn’t sandboxes become slaughterhouses far more dangerous than standard scenarios?”
“Heh…” Feng Bu Jue grinned, fishing successfully again. “So the system lost its sanity because I’m here? Sending a bunch of gods to massacre everyone?” He paused, pointing at himself. “You said earlier I came to the wrong place. True—I’m a player who should’ve queued for the system’s original scenario. So why did I get teleported here?”
“Because…” R2 began, but the word barely escaped before his voice abruptly cut off. Data streams flickered in his eyes. After several tense seconds, he muttered, “Understood…” Then, refocusing on Feng Bu Jue, “The Back Door’s in the school cafeteria. I have other matters to attend to. You’re on your own from here.” Without another glance, he leapt away, vanishing around a distant corner.
“Hey! What other matters? Someone obviously ordered you to shut up just now!” Feng Bu Jue shouted after him, but the figure had already disappeared into the streets.
At that moment, a hand clamped onto Feng Bu Jue’s shoulder.
“Otherworld traveler,” Jesus’s voice rumbled behind him. “The path’s cleared. You can go home now.”
“Uh… sure.” Feng Bu Jue opened his mouth to say “Wait,” but swallowed the word. As he turned, he found the six Super Best Friends already encircling him—a clear message from the system: Don’t test our patience.
Moments later, Feng Bu Jue was “escorted” to the cafeteria by the six divine figures.
The power failure left the cafeteria pitch-black—but it hardly mattered. The original Back Door itself was a light source, a rectangular data stream cluster affixed to the wall, radiating blinding white light.
“You can drop that backpack, kid,” Jesus warned at the threshold. “Physical matter here can’t pass through that door.”
“Yeah… I figured.” Feng Bu Jue nodded. He’d expected this—after all, the sandbox’s data was illegally copied. Its items and weapons couldn’t enter the Login Space, no matter what their descriptions claimed.
“No big deal. These’ll disappear when I cross anyway.” Feng Bu Jue paused, suddenly recalling something. “Oh, right. I’ve got one last thing to do.”
(End of Chapter)
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