Chapter 342
Chapter 342
“Craig!” the Homeland Security Secretary snarled at the “savior” before him. “No! How could you possibly be here?!”
The four main characters trailing Craig had already seen what was happening. Cartman pointed at the secretary and shouted, “Hey! Isn’t that the dumbass who sent us to this shithole?!”
Two Homeland Security staff members and two soldiers stepped forward. One asked, “Sir? What’s going on?”
The Homeland Security Secretary hastily backed away, pointing at the five kids. “Eliminate them!”
“Huh?” The two soldiers holding submachine guns hesitated. “Why?!”
“They’re a rogue Peruvian pan flute band that escaped captivity,” the secretary spat. “We must eradicate them completely!”
Stan quickly raised both hands. “No, wait! The Peruvian pan flute band can drive away the guinea pigs!” He explained, “The world fell into chaos because you drove the bands away!”
The Homeland Security Secretary cut in frantically. “Don’t listen to him! I’m telling you—kill them now!”
Kyle also raised his hands and shouted, “Don’t believe us? Go check for yourselves! The Inca prophecy is inside the ruins!”
At this moment, the two clueless Homeland Security staff and soldiers actually managed to think rationally.
One staff member said, “Sir, maybe we should listen to them. What harm could it do to check it out?”
A soldier beside him added, “Yeah, they’re just kids, sir.”
The secretary gnashed his teeth in fury. Stepping forward, fists clenched, he growled, “Damn it! Damnable Craig! You’ll never let this go, will you?!”
Craig replied with an exasperated look. “I haven’t even said anything yet…”
But the secretary’s logic had already abandoned him, and nothing could stop him from spilling his grand scheme. “For millennia, hordes of horrors have lived in the valleys of Peru, hidden in that lost world. The Incas discovered how to trap those monsters… using pan flute music, because guinea pigs can’t stand that sound…” He elaborated, “But the prophecy says… one day, the monsters would be freed, and I…” He paused, “I am the one who will set them free!”
Everyone present stared at him in stunned silence, perhaps wondering why he was spilling all his dirty secrets like this.
“The Incas foretold the arrival of a savior…” The Homeland Security Secretary pointed dramatically at Craig, “That’s you… Craig!” He emphasized, “But this prophecy won’t come true, because… you’ll all die here!”
Before his last words faded, gunfire erupted.
A soldier standing behind the secretary opened fire instantly, aiming to kill the villainous mastermind.
Bullets tore through the secretary’s chest. He glanced down at his gunshot wounds in delayed realization, only to see not a single drop of blood.
“Ha… ha ha ha…” The secretary chuckled coldly.
“You… you’re a monster too,” the soldier accused, pointing at him.
“Oh~ I’m far more than just a ‘monster,’” the secretary replied smugly. “I’m far superior to them.” As he spoke, his face began to twist grotesquely, his mouth stretching to an impossible width.
In the next second, visible red currents surged across the secretary’s body like lightning, his flesh convulsing as if something was tearing free from beneath his skin.
Within three seconds, this monster masquerading as a U.S. government official revealed its true form.
It was… a Guinea Pig Pirate (a giant guinea pig wearing a pirate coat).
“God!” Stan shouted.
Craig remained unfazed. “Mr. Monster, I assure you I have no intention of ruining your plans. I’ll just step aside, see…” He said, calmly walking sideways.
As he moved, Craig accidentally stepped onto a massive floor tile etched with black-and-white carvings. The moment he stood on it, the tile beneath his feet suddenly glowed blue and began rotating upward.
Simultaneously, the eyes of the distant Golden Giant Statue lit up with matching blue light. The short staff in its right hand fired a golden ray toward the glowing floor tile.
When the ray struck the tile, Craig’s eyes instantly blazed with sudden brightness, projecting two beams of blue light. Without doing anything himself, those beams shot from his eyes and slammed into the Guinea Pig Pirate.
“Oh! No!” The Guinea Pig Pirate screamed in pain.
“OK… my eyes are shooting shockwaves now…” Craig quipped in his usual deadpan tone.
“Stop! Ah! Craig, I curse you!” The Guinea Pig Pirate collapsed to the ground, letting out a final groan.
The four Homeland Security personnel and four protagonists stood frozen, stupefied by the spectacle.
Once the monster was subdued, the beams from Craig’s eyes vanished automatically, and the floor tile rotated back into place.
Craig stepped down from the tile without a word, simply letting out a deep sigh…
Thus far, everything had unfolded exactly as shown in episodes 10 and 11 of Season 12 of South Park within Feng Bu Jue’s memory. According to the normal plot progression, the Homeland Security agents would soon contact headquarters, and the imprisoned Peruvian pan flute band would be released before dawn, ending the guinea pig crisis by morning.
But…
[Sandbox 022986 Major Event Completed]
[Mirror Shielding Deactivated]
[Clone Scenario Will BE Cleared BY System IN 600 Minutes]
[Personnel Level 3 And Above Please Return TO Inner World Immediately]
[Level-4 Personnel May Use Remaining Timefreedom TO Destroy Scenariodata]
[Good Luck]
At this moment, every derivative being within this “Clone Scenario” world heard these system messages.
…
Meanwhile, Feng Bu Jue was discussing which songs to play with the pan flute band configuration with several scenario characters inside a shopping mall.
Suddenly, a surge of intense static flooded his mind.
“What the hell…?” This was the first time he’d experienced such a sensation while gaming. “Where is this noise coming from?”
Feng Bu Jue knew this sound hadn’t come through his ears but some other channel entirely. His first instinct was to open the game menu to check for abnormal statuses.
To his shock, his status indicators were all normal, but for some unknown reason, all text in the task bar had turned to gibberish.
“What the heck?” He muttered, “Did the tasksystem crash?”
Boom—
A deafening explosion interrupted his thoughts.
Feng Bu Jue turned toward the sound. Dozens of meters away, a massive chunk of ceiling concrete crashed down, revealing a figure descending from the dust cloud above.
(End of Chapter)
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