Chapter 339: South Park Arc (6)
Chapter 339: South Park Arc (6)
South Park, Stan's House
Treating Feng Bu Jue's wounds took an unusually long time. First, the gash on his waist was much deeper than expected. Second, he couldn't remove his Attire (the skiing jacket from the scenario could come off, but not the purple long coat). Therefore, he could only stitch through the torn fabric, which affected efficiency.
Of course, the most critical point was that he was ten points unskilled at such sewing work...
At this moment, Sharon and Shelly had calmed down somewhat, while Randy continued fiddling with his camera.
"Alright, I've turned the camera back on", Randy said, pointing the device at his face as he spoke. "OK, this is Randy Marsh. I'm filming some things... A group of giant monsters is attacking our settlement. There's total confusion outside the window right now." As he spoke, he turned the camera to face the street-facing window.
Through the glass, one could see streets littered with dismembered corpses and overturned cars. Gas explosions had ruptured basement pipelines, igniting fires that no one was bothering to extinguish. The living? Either screaming and fleeing, or lying in blood pools waiting for their life to drain away.
"I almost didn't make it back inside, but this super hero [Beep] saved me", Randy said, filming Feng Bu Jue for a few seconds before pointing the camera back at himself. "Sharon and I are together, along with Shelly..." He added, panning the camera to film his wife and daughter. Maintaining his shameless style even in this crisis, he added, "Shelly, wave at the camera!"
"Randy, can you put that damned camera down for once?" Sharon snapped at her husband. "We need to figure out what to do!"
Randy retorted self-righteously, "I don't know what to do! I'm in shock!"
"Why don't you set the camera aside and help that injured Mr. Feng?" Sharon offered a reasonably practical suggestion.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Marsh. I can handle this alone", Feng Bu Jue quickly replied. He definitely didn't want any characters from South Park applying any form of medical treatment to him.
In this world, forget about someone like Randy - even legitimate medical personnel rarely saved lives, but frequently managed to kill people. In Feng Bu Jue's memories, once when Kenny suffered burns, doctors at Hell's Pass Hospital opened his chest, removed his heart, and replaced it with a baked potato. Another time, Cartman went in for a tonsillectomy and came out with Aids...
There were countless such examples. Many characters, led by Kenny, had perished multiple times at Hell's Pass Hospital from various diseases.
In short, letting South Park residents treat him was more dangerous than asking them to kill him outright.
"Let's watch the news on TV instead. I'll finish up here soon", Feng Bu Jue quickly changed the subject.
Sharon found this reasonable and strode forward to turn on the living room television.
Randy's camera followed, focusing on the TV screen as well.
Perhaps they were lucky - despite the severe disaster, the TV signal remained uninterrupted and the station hadn't stopped broadcasting.
As soon as the power turned on, live footage of the catastrophe appeared on screen.
"This is a live report from New York, where the city is also under attack by giant guinea pigs", the narrator on screen explained. "Reports indicate that the guinea pig invasion crisis is sweeping through major cities worldwide..."
"Good grief!" Randy exclaimed. "Are these monsters everywhere in the world?"
The live broadcast footage shook slightly, likely shot from a helicopter. The aerial footage revealed even greater destruction in the metropolitan areas. Guinea pig herds rampaged through streets, explosions and collapsing buildings visible everywhere. Some soldiers had formed a perimeter, unleashing heavy fire from submachine guns at the monsters, but the creatures remained completely unfazed...
"Look at those monsters..." Sharon pointed at the giant guinea pigs on the news. "Randy, what should we do?"
Before Randy could answer, another shock occurred - a loud crashing sound...
The wall facing Feng Bu Jue had been smashed open, and a guinea pig's enormous head poked through. This cute monstrosity's face was as tall as two men, emitting low guttural snarls.
Coincidentally, Feng Bu Jue had just finished treating his wounds and stopped the bleeding.
"Good Lord! Good Lord!" Randy screamed.
"This way." Feng Bu Jue had already stood up, opening the door behind him while slightly stepping aside to clear a path for Stan's family. "Run!"
The couple didn't hesitate, grabbing their daughter and fleeing outside.
Feng Bu Jue's M733 Commando already spat flames, targeting around the guinea pig's eyes.
However, this colossal beast was practically impervious to conventional weapons, showing no signs of slowing down as it continued its advance.
"Tch... Absolutely fearless against conventional weapons..." Feng Bu Jue spat in frustration. He understood he'd have to use some "methods not belonging to this scenario" to resolve the current crisis.
In the blink of an eye, Feng Bu Jue discarded his gun, surged forward, and unleashed the ultimate technique obtained in the previous scenario - the Southern Dipper Flying Dragon Fist.
With Martial Arts Proficiency at C-rank, the martial arts skill activation success rate was already 75%. Combined with Ice Alchemist's Perseverance, which provided a 10% bonus to all active skill success rates, the technique activated smoothly.
As 800 stamina points were consumed, a brilliant purple battle aura erupted around Feng Bu Jue. His fists created countless afterimages as they shot forward.
The area beneath the guinea pig's mouth was instantly pockmarked with numerous small craters from the fist energy.
This Southern Dipper Flying Dragon Fist might superficially resemble the famous Hokuto Shinken technique of the same name, but they were actually vastly different. Hokuto Shinken specialized in pressure point destruction causing internal explosions, while the Southern Dipper techniques focused on cutting and piercing. The former destroyed from within, while the latter cut from the outside.
Therefore, despite their similar appearances, their principles were completely different. The Southern Dipper Flying Dragon Fist destroyed a target (human-sized) through three steps: First, disrupting the opponent's breathing and dispersing their protective aura; Second, gradually accumulating cutting force within the target's body through the fist's energy; Third, delivering a lightning-fast piercing finger strike as the finishing move.
Upon completing this technique, the target's body surface would display numerous red cracks - the cutting wounds from that final piercing finger. Seconds later, when the technique's full power manifested, even a steel body would be shredded into bloody pulp.
However... The target before Feng Bu Jue was simply too massive...
His attack did work, turning a patch of the guinea pig's fur and underlying flesh into bloody pulp. But this level of damage was far from fatal. To use a human analogy, it was akin to having a chunk of chin flesh sliced off by a razor blade.
Still, the giant guinea pig clearly felt pain, emitting a low groan before retreating several steps.
Since this effect was the best Feng Bu Jue could hope for, he accepted it. He quickly seized the moment while the monster was pushed back, grabbed his medical supplies, stuffed them messily into his backpack, and slung it onto his shoulders. Then he grabbed his rifle and dashed toward the exit.
...
Headquarters of Homeland Security, Secretary's Office
Currently, the Secretary of Homeland Security - a monster himself - sat calmly behind his desk, listening to reports from staff and soldiers. His earlier murder of Davis hadn't been exposed yet.
"It seems more and more guinea pigs are approaching from all directions", said a well-dressed Homeland Security staff member, pointing at the map on the Secretary's desk. "We checked Wikipedia (one of South Park's habitual satirical techniques - all government agencies here only research online materials). We found that guinea pigs are creatures originating from the Andes Mountains. That mountain range is located here..."
The Homeland Security Secretary clasped his hands together, elbows on the table, adopting the posture of a commanding officer. "The Pan flute band situation...how's it coming along? Have they been sent to Guantanamo Bay yet?" He gestured toward the southern Cuban coastline, where the infamous military detention facility lay.
The other agents in the office exchanged uneasy glances. One finally spoke up. "Sir, we've got bigger problems than some street performers..."
"Have you or have you not—" The Secretary slammed his fist on the desk, cutting him off mid-sentence. "—gotten them onto the transport ships?"
"No, sir", the agent replied. "We've redeployed all personnel originally assigned to handle the Pan flute band to deal with the guinea pig crisis."
"I already gave explicit orders!" The Secretary's voice thundered as he rocketed to his feet, knuckles white from gripping the table. "Those Peruvian Pan flute band members should've been aboard the Guantanamo-bound ships last night!" He jabbed a thumb at his chest. "This is my operation! I want them shipped out immediately!"
After a tense silence, a soldier responded in an eerily casual tone, "Understood, sir." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Though there's no need to shout..." He sniffled like a scolded child and shuffled out of the room with exaggerated sobs.
...Meanwhile, as the emotionally fragile Homeland Security staff floundered under their boss's tantrum, the children's plane touched down in a clearing at the edge of the Peruvian jungle.
Five elementary students occupied the cabin along with two crew members - a pilot sporting a pencil mustache and a towering co-pilot.
The two men crouched beside a communications console resembling a giant radio. The mustachioed pilot jabbed the transmit button on his walkie-talkie, but only static answered his frantic calls.
More than half an hour had passed since landing, yet the pickup truck scheduled to meet them remained conspicuously absent.
"Satellite's dead. Radio's silent", the pilot muttered, finally setting down the useless device. "We're on our own."
Nearby, the four main passengers gathered. Stan approached with arms spread wide. "Let me recap this clusterflunk." He paused for dramatic effect. "Our glorious Homeland Security bosses ordered you two aviation geniuses to fly five kids to Peru, land in the Andes Mountains, then wait for government muscle to rescue us. Supposedly they'd explain how to march to Lima and overthrow the Peruvian government."
The pilot scratched his head. "That's...basically accurate."
Kyle squinted at the man's apparent lack of critical thinking. "You think this plan makes sense?"
"Not even slightly", the pilot admitted.
The tall co-pilot nodded. "Honestly, the whole Pan flute band takedown operation has been completely baffling." He illustrated his point with two fingers circling each other like a child confessing to spilled milk.
Stan gestured broadly. "Since you clearly recognize this entire operation is nonsensical, can we go home now?"
"Well..." The pilot adjusted his mustache. "The original plan was to refuel after landing. Without gas, we can't fly anywhere."
"Fantastic", Craig muttered from his brooding corner.
Kyle ventured, "So we need alternative transportation?"
The pilot shrugged. "Looks that way."
Ten minutes later found two unarmed Homeland Security pilots leading five children into the dense thicket.
Craig brought up the rear, deadpanning, "This is great. Strolling into the creepy forest like characters in a horror movie."
"Your negativity's annoying, Craig", Cartman declared.
Kenny nodded in agreement.
Cartman continued, "Nobody wants to hang out with a constant complainer."
"Hey, look ahead!" The tall co-pilot suddenly pointed.
Before them rose circular earth mounds, each spanning six or seven meters in diameter. Hollow centers and fresh claw marks suggested these weren't graves, but escape hatches for something monstrous crawling from the earth.
...Feng Bu Jue burst from the building, eyes fixed on the radar screen. The three escapees hadn't gotten far. He sprinted after them, boots pounding pavement.
Behind him, a guttural roar announced the arrival of the southern dipper flying dragon fist-wounded monster. The creature barreled through the building's remains and onto the street.
Feng Bu Jue glanced back. The guinea pig's bloodied muzzle already showed signs of regeneration, flesh knitting itself together at an alarming rate.
"Incredible...it's healing itself!" He calculated his options. Only 【demon god descent】 might guarantee killing one of these "The furry death" abominations. But even killing hundreds wouldn't change the apocalyptic reality - thousands infested every corner of this world.
"I'm not one of South Park's main characters who survives impossible odds", he muttered while running. "Where the hell are the Super best friends? Jesus, Buddha, and the rest? They're supposed to handle global crises!"
A white-furred guinea pig smashed through a storefront, blocking Feng Bu Jue's path. A human screamed in its jaws, left arm completely devoured as blood soaked his torso. The victim's dangling legs kicked desperately while the monster chewed.
Without hesitation, Feng Bu Jue raised his submachine gun and fired - directly into the victim's chest.
The gunner pivoted sideways, using the street's width to circle behind the beast. His agility paid off as he ducked behind the monster's bulk.
There, he spotted his quarry - a family of three fleeing down the road. Sharon held her daughter's hand, while Randy trailed with his camera rolling. "Look! Here's my wife and daughter fleeing for their lives! Hey Shelly, wave to the camera!"
Shelly turned her head and flipped him the bird while running.
Boom! A tan-furred monster smashed into the street behind them. The family made a desperate dash toward a nearby abandoned bus with open doors.
Feng Bu Jue cursed. "Are you kidding me? Running into a death trap like some horror movie extra!" But he couldn't abandon them now. Too much had been sacrificed already.
"I'll finish this side quest if it kills me!" he roared, charging toward the bus.
Two more guinea pigs emerged - one gray, one tan. They circled the vehicle like cats at a tuna can. Their claws shredded windows, their weight crumpling the roof.
Then something impossible happened.
Randy burst from the bus. He sprinted five meters away, camera still rolling. "Here's an outside perspective of the monsters attacking the bus!" He turned and sprinted back inside.
(End of Chapter)
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