Chapter 337: South Park Arc (4)
Chapter 337: South Park Arc (4)
The plan to infiltrate the pharmacy went surprisingly smoothly. All Feng Bu Jue needed to do was sprint to the corridor outside the pharmacy, flash an excited grin, and shout, "Hey! Staff! There’s a Batman Vehicle parked at the hospital entrance!"
Instantly, everyone who heard the news rushed outside cheerfully. The most absurd part? Even the pharmacy staff bolted out, leaving the door wide open as they fled.
Feng Bu Jue himself found this method utterly ridiculous—the tactic of luring people away by claiming a "Batman Vehicle" was nearby had been used dozens of times by Cartman in S1607, and it worked every single time. Yet, undeniably effective.
After scouring the pharmacy, Feng Bu Jue felt disappointed. Most of the Medicines here were useless, mere items without any description.
Many Medicines had different packaging but identical descriptions:
[Name: Antibiotic (30/30)]
[Type: Consumable]
[Quality: Common]
[Function: Neutralizes poisoning and infection states]
[Can Be Taken Out of Scenario: Yes]
[Background: Common anti-inflammatory medication for oral consumption.]
These were mostly bottle-contained pills targeting specific abnormal statuses. Clearly cheap and unremarkable.
The morphine Feng Bu Jue genuinely wanted did have an item description, but its effects were far from his expectations:
[Name: Morphine *5]
[Type: Consumable]
[Quality: Common]
[Function: Reduces Terror Value increase by 30% for a certain time]
[Can Be Taken Out of Scenario: Yes]
[Background: Frequent injections within a short time may cause poisoned reactions.]
Feng Bu Jue was no stranger to such psychiatric drugs. During his hospitalization, he’d taken countless medications exclusive to mental institutions—even the latest experimental overseas drugs. Morphine wasn’t rare to him.
Perhaps due to the game’s sensitivity around opiate substances, fearing "youth influence", they’d altered the effects to this.
Feng Bu Jue specifically searched for Vicodin, only to find that it existed but had no item description, deemed useless by the system.
Curious, Feng Bu Jue popped the bottle open and poured a dozen pills down his throat like mints.
"Still nothing..." He muttered while walking out, "No restorative drugs for vitality value or stamina value either. Guess I’ll have to find some food. Eating restores health points at least."
After looting desired items, Feng Bu Jue left the hospital for the shopping mall. Besides firearms and medical supplies, everything else could be found there.
———
Meanwhile, at the Peruvian Pan Flute Band containment facility.
The Homeland Security temporary command center was separated from the quarantine zone by a single barbed-wire fence. From here, the trapped Peruvians were clearly visible.
Crowds gathered outside the command post: plainclothes staff, fully armed soldiers, and suit-clad officials.
The onsite leader was a man in his fifties. Half his head was gray, bald on the front, dressed in a black suit with a red tie. He was not only the highest-ranking commander here but also the mastermind behind the entire manhunt operation.
"Sir, great news!" Two soldiers approached, "We’ve succeeded, sir. All major cities report zero Peruvian Pan Flute Bands. They’ve been completely eradicated!"
At their words, the crowd erupted into cheers: "Hallelujah! Success! Thank God!"
Who knows why they were celebrating so fervently…
"Alright, calm down", the Bald Commander ordered sternly, "We still have much work to do. We must eliminate their nests to prevent resurgence."
A nearby staff member with a report interjected, "But we don’t know where they originated, sir", glancing at his documents, "We’ve investigated but found nothing."
The Bald Commander’s expression screamed "Wtf" as he raised his hands to clutch his head dramatically. "Use your brains, idiots! ‘Peru’ is in their band name! Where else could they come from?!"
Yet, the surrounding IQ remained stubbornly low. Everyone nodded sagely, chin in hand, deep in thought.
The commander exploded, "The country’s name is in the band’s name! Peru!"
A white-shirted officer cut in, "But sir, we checked the entire world map. There’s no country named Peruvian."
"Not Peruvian, you moron! Peru!" The Bald Commander stormed to a map, pointing furiously, "Here!"
(At this moment, the Homeland Security staff committed a mistake akin to confusing "Chinese" with "China", failing to locate Peru on the map.)
The staff repeated like toddlers learning speech: "Oh… Peru~" as if hearing the word for the first time.
The Bald Commander refused further debate, "Now! We must eradicate the country of Peru entirely!"
The crowd exchanged uneasy glances. One asked, "Is that really necessary, sir?"
A soldier muttered, "A bit extreme, isn’t it?"
Another nodded, "Yeah…"
The Bald Commander roared hoarsely, "We must exterminate them completely, root them out. Otherwise, they’ll never stop harassing us!"
Just then, a black officer in a general’s uniform rushed in, "Sir, you’d better come see. We’ve captured a Pan Flute Band attempting to escape!"
The Bald Commander grabbed a nearby officer’s collar, "See! I told you!"
Two minutes later, inside the interrogation room…
A metal table with five stools. Five elementary schoolers sat hunched on the stools.
The Bald Commander stood opposite, holding a CD. He read the cover aloud, "Cao Ni Ma Brothers presents – Moon Snack." (A CD the kids had randomly named and burned to make street money.)
"You’re mistaken! Sir!" Stan pleaded, "We’re not real Peruvian Pan Flute Bands!"
The Bald Commander’s IQ seemingly offline, he sarcastically replied, "Right, right… You’re just playing pan flutes in the business district, selling your Cao Ni Ma Cds, and coincidentally Not Peruvian Pan Flute Bands, huh?"
Stan helplessly spread his hands, "We’re kids! We just wanted to earn extra cash!"
Kyle added, "We just want to go home now!"
Kenny whimpered in his muffled voice, "Sir, please, I had plans to lose my virginity on Saturday!"
The kids chorused, "We’re born and raised in Colorado! We’re Caucasian!"
The Bald Commander solemnly whispered to the officer, "Let’s step out for a moment."
They joined several staff outside the interrogation room, launching another zero-IQ analysis.
Their conclusion? "The five inside are hybrids of the Peruvian Pan Flute Band and humans. We must use them to destroy Peru."
———
Meanwhile, outside the quarantine zone’s barbed-wire fence, a soldier called out, "Thompson, come here a second?"
Thompson, the Spanish translator, approached. The soldier continued, "Those pan flute bands won’t shut up. They’re shouting something, but I can’t understand."
"Please! We cannot leave!" Suddenly, an elderly Peruvian Pan Flute Band member shouted through the fence in Spanish, "We came here to protect you!"
His companion echoed, "Yes! We must stay! We must protect you!"
Thompson frowned skeptically as he translated, "They seem to be saying... 'You cannot deport us, we are Guardians'..."
The soldier squinted. "Guardians of... what?"
The Peruvian elder inside the chain-link fence shouted, "The furry death! The furry death!" He repeated it twice, his voice cracking with urgency.
The soldier shrugged. "What's he saying now?"
Thompson's face turned pale. "I think he said... 'The furry death'... twice?"
South Park, shopping mall.
The sunset arrived faster than expected, dusk already fading as twilight bled across the sky. Feng Bu Jue arrived at the parking lot outside the mall entrance just as a reporter with a microphone and a cameraman with a Cnn news van were setting up on the plaza.
The reporter appeared to be broadcasting live. Feng Bu Jue edged closer to catch what he was saying.
"...As you can see, these plazas have become much quieter. It's been days since anyone saw a Peruvian pan flute band. Residents clearly appreciate this serene atmosphere. Thanks to Homeland Security, the world can finally breathe easy from the 'pan flute band pandemic'..."
Wrrroooooaaarrrr!
The reporter's voice was cut off by an earth-shaking roar erupting two streets away, accompanied by the thunderous sound of massive footsteps. Suddenly, an explosion lit up the night sky with fire and smoke. The cameraman swung the lens just in time to capture the inferno.
Screams erupted as crowds stampeded. "Oh God!" "Oh my Lord!" "Aaaaaah!"
The trembling camera showed a police cruiser flying through the air, sirens wailing, describing a high arc before crashing six meters behind the reporter. The journalist dropped his microphone and sprinted to the camera, his face twisted in terror. "We have a situation... it's not the Peruvian pan flute band, it's..." His voice died as his expression contorted in horror, eyes locked on something outside the frame. "Holy Jesus! What the hell is that?!"
The Cnn anchor screamed through his earpiece: "Paul! Paul, what do you see?!"
"It's furry! It's all furry!" Paul shouted before the feed cut to static.
Whether Paul and his cameraman survived was anyone's guess - Feng Bu Jue had vanished ten seconds earlier in a cloud of dust.
He had no time for heroics or maintaining order. He knew the monsters weren't limited to one creature. Right now, the entire world was under attack. One man could do nothing.
Besides, the moment that guttural roar echoed, the system prompt had already updated:
[Current task has been updated, main quest updated]
[Survive until the "Cataclysm" ends.]
Seeing this task, Feng Bu Jue immediately sprinted toward the mall entrance. But as his foot crossed the threshold, another notification chimed:
[Side quest task triggered]
[Safely bring Stan's parents and sister to the shopping mall.]
"Dammit! I already reached the mall entrance when this side quest popped up!" Feng Bu Jue cursed.
This task even had a ten-point countdown timer. On Feng Bu Jue's game menu, a radar-like interface displayed Stan's family locations, practically taunting him to complete it.
In normal difficulty, this side quest would have appeared when Feng Bu Jue first entered the settlement, giving him time to lure Stan's family here through deception or kidnapping. But in nightmare mode, the task appeared precisely when chaos erupted. Either he abandoned it completely, or he risked his life...
After ten seconds of hesitation, Feng Bu Jue gritted his teeth. "Fine! I'll take my chances!"
Adjusting his medical supply backpack, he pulled an M733 Commando with grenade launcher from his satchel and charged toward the radar's direction.
At this point, running through streets with weapons was no longer suspicious. Panic-stricken crowds flooded everywhere. The police and military were overwhelmed fighting the monsters.
As Feng Bu Jue sprinted, he noticed his stamina dropping rapidly. "This gear really weighs me down. Better find a car."
He dismissed any Grand Theft Auto-style street carjacking - drivers would rather run him over than stop. Instead, he ran another block and found a parked car in an alley.
Approaching cautiously, he confirmed the car was empty but locked. With a practiced swing, he shattered the side windshield and broke in. Punching through the dashboard, he quickly located the ignition wires and connected them.
Two minutes later, he reversed out of the alley and accelerated into the chaos. The sky darkened completely, streetlights flickered erratically, and panicked crowds surged everywhere.
He turned on his headlights and drove as fast as safely possible.
Ten minutes later, the radar blip grew closer. Turning a corner, he suddenly saw a hulking monster ahead. Feng Bu Jue slammed the brakes, but the car slid toward the beast.
Every driver instinctively jerks the wheel toward themselves at impact. But Feng Bu Jue remained calm. With practiced efficiency, he unbuckled his seatbelt with one hand while steadying the wheel with the other to keep the car facing forward.
As the car barreled toward the monster, he reached for his backpack and rifle on the passenger seat - all within two seconds.
The impact came. Feng Bu Jue braced himself, gripping the rifle strap and backpack tightly while shielding his face.
Crash! His body crashed through the windshield and flew toward the monster's fur. As the momentum dissipated, he rolled onto the car's hood.
Without missing a beat, he twisted his waist and sat up, immediately slung the backpack over his left shoulder, raised his rifle, and pushed off with his legs. Before the monster could react, he had already vaulted seven or eight meters away.
He didn't dare look back. Distance was his priority.
Feng Bu Jue wasn't ignoring the monster's appearance out of negligence - he already knew what they were. Recalling those Peruvian pan flute band episodes, he remembered these creatures perfectly.
Describing them was simple - giant guinea pigs. Identical to the domesticated pets, but five stories tall and with aggressive tendencies. Some even wore cloth costumes resembling bees or rabbits.
No one knew their origin or intelligence level. They simply appeared and began their "Advancing Guinea Pigs" apocalypse, devouring humans and demolishing buildings worldwide.
"Should I go around?" Feng Bu Jue muttered while checking the terrain and radar, seeking the optimal route.
Suddenly, the air screamed. Looking up, he saw three F-15s streaking overhead, launching missiles toward the chaos.
(End of Chapter)
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