Chapter 334: South Park Arc (Part One)
Chapter 334: South Park Arc (Part One)
【Mad Bu Jue, Level 29】
【Please select the game mode you wish to join.】
【You have chosen singleplayer survival mode (common) (nightmare). Please confirm.】
【Confirmed. Scenario generation in progress...】
【Loading started. Please wait.】
"Welcome to Terrifying Paradise." The voice reciting the lines this time sounded eerily familiar—a deep, ominous male timbre commonly used in Hollywood movie trailers.
【Loading completed. You are now entering singleplayer survival mode (common) (nightmare).】
【This mode provides a scenario overview, with chances to trigger side quests/hidden tasks and special world views.】
【Scenario clearance reward: 80% bonus on base experience upon completion.】
"Oh, that's a hefty reward", Feng Bu Jue remarked as he read the prompt. "Even though solo survival usually shortens playtime, this is nightmare difficulty. The rewards at settlement will definitely be worth it. An 80% bonus on game completion experience is practically doubling it."
Though honestly, there wasn't much to get excited about. For Rmb players using double experience cards, every run already offered 100% base experience bonuses...
At that moment, the opening CG began playing.
The scene unfolding before Feng Bu Jue resembled a paper-cut animation—a deliberately childish, hyper-stylized aesthetic.
But the instant the first frame appeared, Feng Bu Jue's expression contorted in shock. "No way... this can't be..."
The screen showed a bright blue sky with white clouds, sunlight bathing the landscape in golden hues.
In the distance stood dark green mountains capped with snow.
The camera panned downward, revealing rows of square-shaped, colorfully painted houses lining a smooth gray street.
【This is a settlement located in Colorado, United States.】
"No no no no no..." Feng Bu Jue muttered like a man trying to ward off a nightmare. "Impossible... This can't be happening!"
【A tranquil, tiny, useless, rural, remote, nameless, childish, primitive, small-minded, hick, right-wing, buzz-cut, pickup-truck-driving, outdated, redneck, incestuous, chaotic, obsolete, backwater, poverty-stricken, godforsaken little village.】
【This is...】
As the system voice spoke, the CG zoomed in on a wooden signpost standing in the snow. The sign bore the words "South Park."
【South Park.】
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!" Feng Bu Jue screamed.
A second later, he screamed again. "Ahhhhh!!!"
Even he couldn't explain why...
【Based on accurate data from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the world is currently experiencing a severe economic decline and ecological crisis akin to a pandemic. The cause... Peruvian pan flute bands.】
【These bands have spread globally, concentrating in tourist hotspots and shopping districts to perform Peruvian pan flute music. In some areas, an average of 65 Peruvian pan flute bands exist per square kilometer.】
【But all of this will end this morning...】
As the voice concluded, the scenario officially began.
Feng Bu Jue now appeared in the same flat, paper-cut animation style as the scenario's aesthetic.
He stood atop a snow-capped mountain near South Park, thick snow underfoot and sparse clusters of fir trees around him. The sunlight overhead was abundant, offering a wide-open view directly down to the settlement below. From this distance, the town appeared utterly unremarkable.
Strangely, despite being surrounded by snow, he felt no cold. The environment registered around 20°C—humid enough to be comfortable.
"This is a death sentence..." Feng Bu Jue broke into a cold sweat. Never before in any scenario had he shown such visible anxiety. "Pan flute bands... pan flute bands..." He frantically searched his memory for details about the South Park anime. "Got it! Season 12, episodes 10-11, Pandemic."
The basic plot resurfaced in his mind just as a system prompt chimed:
【Main Quest Triggered】
【Survive attacks from Jimbo and Ned.】
"Jimbo and Ned..." Feng Bu Jue's face twitched. Instantly alert, he scanned his surroundings. "Those two lunatics wouldn't be hunting something right now..."
As he muttered this to himself, a distant shout suddenly rang out: "It's charging at us!"
The roar had barely faded when the staccato burst of a submachine gun followed.
Feng Bu Jue didn't even need to think. He knew the bullets were aimed at him. Tucking his arms over his head, he dove in the opposite direction of the sound.
In truth, his reaction was already too slow. Trying to flee after hearing gunfire was futile.
Luckily, Feng Bu Jue had both 【Artemis' Embrace】 and 【Echo Armor】 layered as protection. Though he took over a dozen bullets in two seconds, his vitality value didn't budge.
After five seconds, Feng Bu Jue ducked behind a massive boulder, temporarily escaping the shooters' line of fire. But before he could catch half a breath, Jimbo's voice echoed from afar: "Ned! It's hiding behind a rock! Throw a bomb!"
Ned's voice, robotic from throat cancer caused by smoking and his reliance on a voice synthesizer since losing his right arm in war, replied in its signature magnetic, monotonous tone: "Understood—"
Feng Bu Jue had no choice but to flee again, shouting mid-sprint: "I'm human! Human!"
His words were drowned out by renewed machine gun fire and subsequent explosions.
"This won't work!" Feng Bu Jue quickly realized the dire situation. His vitality value was already at 90% to begin with (from equipping 【Implanted Alchemy Amplifier】). Even with powerful gear, sustained automatic rifle fire couldn't be dodged forever. Worse yet, Jimbo and Ned's firepower was military-grade—god only knew what weapons they'd pull out next.
Feng Bu Jue had no intention of prolonging this skirmish. Rather than trying to confront them head-on to prove his humanity, fleeing into town was the better bet. Once there, these two "hunting" maniacs would likely stop their assault... presumably.
With that thought, he activated his 【Spirit Sense Body Technique】, transforming into a blur as he dodged the gunfire and sprinted downhill.
At the scenario's start, Feng Bu Jue hadn't even had time to test his 【Summoning Skills】 before being forced into a humiliating retreat.
He knew one truth well: In the South Park world, no location, no character, was safe. No one's intelligence, logic, or morals could be trusted...
This place might appear peaceful, but for an outsider like him, it was more dangerous than hell itself...
(End of Chapter)
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