Chapter 257: A Timeless Joke

Chapter 257: A Timeless Joke

The lengthy and boring charity auction had a hypnotic effect, much like a senior year math class. By the time it ended, Chen Xiaoyu was almost dozing off.

He rubbed his temples, trying to clear his sleepy mind. As he watched, the auction winners were led to a room to collect their items, while items that were inconvenient to carry were offered a delivery service.

Chen stood guard at the door, but even as the last person left the room, he didn't see anyone carrying a lamp.

He stopped an exiting staff member and asked politely, "Hello, where is the owner of the lamp? I'd like to meet them."

The staff member shrugged, "That gentleman has already left."

"What?" Chen exclaimed in shock, "What about the lamp he won?"

"We'll transfer it to the warehouse for him to claim. A lamp doesn't take up much space anyway."

As they spoke, another staff member came out carrying a lamp with a rat charm on it.

Chen's gaze fell on the rat charm beneath the lamp, and he felt an itch in his heart and hands, his expression showing a hint of pain.

No, Chen, you can't do this!

Don't you remember? You were arrested for theft not long ago!

You promised Blake you wouldn't steal again!

You're an archaeologist, not a robber!

"If the buyer doesn't claim it, the lamp will have to wait until the next auction to be sold again." The staff member carrying the lamp said casually.

Chen: ...

"The next auction is probably in a year, right?"

Chen: ...

"Then there's only one answer."

Chen took a deep breath and, to the staff member's astonishment, grabbed the lamp with both hands and yanked it, dashing out.

"Sorry, just borrowing it for a bit, I'll return it!"

Seconds later, the staff member reacted and shouted, "Help! We're being robbed!"

The guard at the door sprang into action, and a nearby patrolling police officer with a sharp gaze grabbed Chen, who was frantically running out while tugging at the charm.

"Hands up!"

The police officer drew his gun without hesitation, pointing it at Chen, who was trying to break free. He seemed prepared to shoot recklessly and reload for a second magazine if needed, causing Chen's mouth to twitch.

"What bad luck!"

...

"You can't beat me at the Drop Tower."

In Moose Park, Lu Xie, having lost twice, was confident. The phone booth in District Thirteen was like a weakened version of the Drop Tower, so she was already used to it.

After all, she didn't climb stairs every day.

But for someone who could fly, this game lacked challenge. While Lu Xie was feeling nauseous from the weightlessness, Lu Xie could continue without a care. The result was as expected.

Lu Xie scratched her head, muttering to herself.

Seven games, four wins!

Then she dragged Lu Ke to the next game, determined. With so many games in the park, she didn't believe she, a gaming expert, couldn't win a single one! Whack-a-Mole, Basketball Toss, Bumper Cars, Ferris Wheel, Air Swing...

From thrilling and stimulating to coordination, from reaction speed to calculation ability, Lu Xie tried each game with a grimace, losing every single one, utterly defeated.

The games continued, nine games, five wins; eleven games, six wins; thirteen games, seven wins. In the end, Lu Xie stopped counting and glared at Lu Xie with such intensity that she wanted to devour him.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

Lu Xie shrugged. After all, he had a whole group of brothers supporting him, and even though he wasn't at his full potential, his physical abilities were still far superior.

If there was anything he couldn't do, it was probably giving birth.

Giving birth wasn't impossible, as the Lu Kes were gradually becoming non-human, and changing gender was a minor matter. Even changing species was within their capabilities.

But no Lu Ke would go crazy and give birth; if one did, they'd likely be the first Lu Ke to be isolated and denied sharing.

"I give up."

Lu Xie pouted, her tense body relaxing. She finally realized she had picked the wrong opponent. Not only did she fail to get the Rat Charm, but she also lost a Bull Charm in the process.

"Are you ready to concede?" Lu Xie asked, looking up.

"No way! I want to get my money's worth." Lu Xie glared at him, "Let's go on the Roller Coaster!"

"If it makes you happy."

The two sat side by side on the roller coaster, which sped along the tracks, winding and twisting in the air, gaining speed.

The riders experienced intense weightlessness, the howling wind in their ears. Adrenaline surged, bodies heated, faces flushed, and everyone screamed and shouted in unison, finding pleasure in the midst of fear.

After getting off the roller coaster, Xiaoyu calmed her pounding heart and took a few deep breaths before regaining her composure.

"That was thrilling!"

Lu Xie, standing beside her, gave her a sidelong glance upon hearing this. "Do you want to go again?"

Xiaoyu was pleasantly surprised. "Can we?"

"There's nothing I can't do for you."

And so the two of them boarded the roller coaster once more, relishing the weightless sensation in the sky. This time, the thrill was slightly less intense than the previous ride, but Xiaoyu was already content.

She exhaled in satisfaction, her hair standing on end due to inertia and wind, and no amount of patting could smooth it back down.

Lu Xie gently stroked her hair, returning it to its original silky smoothness.

Xiaoyu touched her hair and her eyes lit up. "Hey, big guy, you'd definitely be a great hairstylist if you ever decided to become one."

"Thanks for the compliment, but I've never thought of becoming an assassin."

Xiaoyu took out the small tickets she had received from the amusement park staff and counted them. These tickets could be exchanged for treats that children loved.

"There are twenty in total, enough for two ice creams. Do you want one?"

"You can have it."

Lu Xie casually replied, watching Xiaoyu bounce away. A thought crossed his mind, and he looked up towards the direction of the commercial building.

Something seemed to have happened there, as several auras appeared, along with a small amount of Dark Energy that was invisible to ordinary people, emanating from Lu Xie's body and floating towards an unknown distance.

He pondered, "The Dark Energy that shouldn't exist has increased."

To be precise, the total amount had increased, and a portion of it had been taken from him...

No, it was more like a small portion had been returned to the Dark Lord.

"The Dark Lord has been resurrected by someone else, and he's even managed to escape far away. He's quite bold, taking advantage of my absence. It seems I've been too lenient with him."

The strongest villain of the last millennium had been severely punished by Lu Ke of that world, and his fate was so miserable that it was hard to bear witnessing it.

Lu Xie diverted a bit of his attention to sense the situation over there and frowned slightly. The Dark Lord, who had been an MVP villain from season one to the finale, was indeed a tough one to kill.

But this was fine; according to the plan, the Dark Lord was supposed to be resurrected anyway. His benevolent side seemed to be over there as well, and there wasn't anything important in the building. As long as Snake was okay, it was all good.

"Here you go."

Xiaoyu, with her astonishing agility, had already returned and handed Lu Xie a vanilla ice cream, then sat down to enjoy her own.

"I don't want it."

"Miss Hardman said that friends should share with each other."

"When did I ever say I wanted to be friends with you?"

"The ice cream is melting. Why are you being so sentimental as an adult?"

Xiaoyu impatiently stretched out her arm, "If it weren't for the fact that you brought me here today, I wouldn't have given it to you."

Lu Xie glanced at the bustling crowd and, feeling a bit uncomfortable, took the ice cream and took a bite. The cold, refreshing sensation melted in his mouth, leaving a sweet taste with a hint of coolness.

Xiaoyu finished her ice cream and swung her legs, "How does it feel?"

"It's just okay, barely passable."

Lu Xie honestly shared his thoughts.

"Shouldn't you be thinking that the ice cream is the most delicious thing you've ever tasted and then eat it every day after you get home?"

Lu Xie: "...Where did you get such a ridiculous idea?"

"That's what my good friend told me in a story. He's the one who knows both kung fu and magic." Xiaoyu was convinced.

Lu Xie coughed lightly and quickly finished the ice cream. He then patted his hands and stood up, "Since you've conceded, the game is over. I'm leaving first. Just deliver the charm to the commercial building in the city center."

He had only taken a few steps when Xiaoyu grabbed his clothes, her face showing disbelief as she held up her phone.

"Uncle Dragon, did you get caught for stealing?"

"It's not stealing, it's just a minor misunderstanding. I only borrowed the lamp for a while. How can you call it stealing when an archaeologist borrows something?"

Jackie Chan's voice on the other end sounded strained and subdued.

"Don't tell Dad. Last time I went to the station, he kept nagging me about setting a bad example for you."

"You did set a bad example for me, Uncle Dragon."

"Next time, I definitely won't borrow things from others. I swear I'll learn my lesson. At least I managed to get the charm, so this trip wasn't a waste."

Xiaoyu covered her eyes, "Sorry, Uncle Dragon, I forgot to tell you that I swapped the Rat Charm, and the one you have is fake."

"What?!"

Jackie Chan's voice suddenly rose, almost deafening Xiaoyu.

"Uncle Dragon, I can hear you. You can lower your voice a bit."

"You... Never mind, never mind. As long as the charm is with you and the Black Hand doesn't get it, my suffering won't be in vain."

Xiaoyu said with a bit of guilt, "Actually, the leader of the Black Hand took the charm from me."

"She thought for a moment and changed the word 'grab' to 'take'. 'The desk lamp is the one he bid for, and it's perfectly legal for him to take the Rat Charm.'"

"Xiao Yu, we can't reason with the Black Hand. They'll bring danger once they get their hands on the charm."

"I think he's a decent guy. He took me out to play today."

"You..."

Jackie Chan, his emotions flaring, wanted to say more, but a voice interrupted their conversation with the announcement, "Time's up." Then, the phone line went dead with a dial tone.

Xiao Yu looked at Lu Xie pitifully, "I promised my classmates we'd go to the museum, but now that Dragon Uncle isn't here to back me up, can you bear to see me being mocked by my classmates?"

"I'm not your Dragon Uncle."

"It doesn't matter about Dragon Uncle. What's important is having someone who knows about antiques to back me up."

"Please, just think about the terrible consequences if you don't go. If Xiao Zhu mocks me, I might become depressed. Once I'm depressed, I might start smoking, drinking, dyeing my hair, getting a tattoo, and then I'll turn into a delinquent girl. In the future, I might even take the path of crime and join the Black Hand!"

"And all of this will be because you didn't agree to accompany a little girl to the museum today."

Xiao Yu's words were full of emotion, and she even used gestures and imitations to express herself. She perfectly portrayed the image of a delinquent teen girl with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.

"In that case, I'd be delighted to see the Dark Forces gain a powerful member."

Lu Xie coldly removed Xiao Yu's hand from his, "Do you want me to give you a cool tattoo and make you the Queen of the Shadow Troops?"

"The Queen of the Shadow Troops?"

Xiao Yu's eyes lit up, and she was indeed a little tempted, "You mean I can command those Ninja Soldiers? Queen of Shadows, oh~ what a cool title."

As Xiao Yu was daydreaming, an image suddenly flashed in her mind—Lu Ke, wearing a white holy robe, sitting beside her on a yak. The little spark in her heart instantly extinguished.

"No way. My friend is a Saint Fighter, and I won't go against him."

"Sounds like you really value your friend."

Lu Xie's cold expression softened slightly.

"Of course. He's my future boyfriend. In a few years, when we're older, we can be together without any objections from our fathers or Dragon Uncle."

Xiao Yu spoke with absolute certainty.

"Alright, I'll go to the museum with you, but you have to drop this early romance nonsense," Lu Xie said, rubbing his temples.

"This topic is too risky. I'm worried the FBI will invite me for a chat."

Xiao Yu gave him a strange look, "What does it have to do with you?"

"Nothing! It has nothing to do with me!"

Lu Xie wiped his face, and when his hand moved away, his face had transformed into another with a prominent nose and a rugged look, startling Xiao Yu, who almost jumped up.

"Dragon Uncle?!"

"You'll still need to attend parent-teacher conferences in the future, and it might be awkward if your uncle looks different."

Lu Xie, now in the form of Jackie Chan, said indifferently.

Xiao Yu stared at Lu Xie, who had even changed his physique, "You've thought of everything, and your makeup skills are incredible."

"Let's go."

...

Half an hour later, the two of them stopped in front of their family museum.

There, Xiao Zhu, with his brown skin and glasses, stood with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Xiao Yu.

"You're so slow, Xiao Yu. I've almost finished my tour."

"Something came up, and I forgot the time while playing at the Moose Park."

"I don't believe you," Xiao Zhu mocked, "With your poor grades and the trouble you always cause at school, how could your family take you to the Moose Park? I've never had the chance to go there."

Lu Xie, standing beside Xiao Yu, glanced at Xiao Zhu and took out an extra-large Super Moose from his spatial pocket, placing it in front of Xiao Yu.

"You're wrong, little friend. Whether they take you to the amusement park or not depends on how much they value your wishes. Xiao Yu is adorable, and her family adores her. This Super Moose is the prize she won at the Moose Park."

Lu Xie crouched down and flashed an evil smile at Xiao Zhu, "But you're different. Your parents don't take you to the Moose Park not because of your poor grades or behavior but because they want to save money and are looking for an excuse."

Xiao Zhu froze, feeling a chill run through his body. This tone, meant to shatter his young heart, was all too familiar, just like that demon of a classmate who always sat behind him.

Recently, that demon had been calm and smiley, no longer teasing him. Xiao Zhu thought he had gotten rid of that weirdo, but today he encountered another one, and this one was an enhanced, larger version!

"You're lying! You and Xiao Yu are both liars!"

Lu Xie sighed, expressing his regret and sympathy.

"Think about it carefully. Forget about not taking you to the Moose Park; they probably don't even buy you chicken and watermelon. They don't love you!"

(End of Chapter)

Chapter end