Chapter 24: High-Ping Warrior

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When people get sentimental, they can cry for half an hour just listening to a song.

Yesterday, Naruto had a rare moment of sentimentality and decided he wanted to integrate more with the group. However, he quickly realized it wasn’t so easy to dive deep into their conversations.

For instance, during break time now, Naruto was sitting nearby as a few classmates chatted about everyday things. But there was no way for him to join in. They were talking about flowers, which class had the hottest guy, or what delicious meal they planned to eat tonight. What could Naruto contribute?

That the Nine-Tails got drunk and gave itself a perm? Or that Naruto the anime was pretty cool and he could give them a rundown?

That would scare the crap out of everyone.

With no other choice, Naruto resorted to mimicking Shikamaru—propping his chin up with his hand and staring blankly at the sky.

Shikamaru was an exceptionally intelligent person who excelled at shogi.

Speaking of shogi… Naruto suddenly remembered the ridiculous anime Dororo from his past life and quickly shook the thought away. If he didn’t stop himself, he’d spiral back into sentimentality again.

By the way, maybe it was time to find something for the Nine-Tails to do…

Naruto felt this was a solid idea. If the fox kept living such a carefree life, Naruto was genuinely worried it might one day slap its belly and accidentally unleash a Rasenshuriken.

"Shikamaru," Naruto called out.

"Hmm?" Shikamaru half-opened his eyes, his expression far beyond that of a nine-year-old. It looked more like an eighteen-year-old who had discovered the door to a new world and spent the night on a wild ride.

Exhausted.

"I heard you’re really good at shogi?" Naruto asked.

As for who told him, well, Asuma had mentioned it.

"Not bad," Shikamaru replied, still radiating laziness.

"Can you help me bring a book about shogi tomorrow?" Naruto requested. He had no choice—his knowledge of shogi was limited to the anime Ryūō no Oshigoto! where he only paid attention to the cute girls and ignored the rules entirely.

"What a drag," Shikamaru complained. Now he’d have to go home, search for a book, deal with his parents asking why, and then endure his mom nagging him about how lazy he was. His dad, wisely staying out of it, would eventually get dragged into the argument when Mom inevitably brought him up around the thirteenth sentence. Then Dad would get scolded too…

"Thanks a lot!" Naruto said gratefully. If Shikamaru couldn’t do it, he’d say so outright. If he complained about how troublesome it was, it meant he could do it—he just found it annoying. Why did he find it annoying? Who knew? That brain of his could calculate the diffusion range of a fart, but he’d still run away because he was too lazy to deal with the smell.

The people of Konoha were all strange like this. Why was that, anyway?

Before class started, Naruto returned to his seat, while in his mindscape, he began working on a major project.

First step: making molds. The size of the Kyuubi determined that its chess pieces would be measured in square meters. Naruto planned to make a board four meters by two and a half meters.

While Naruto hammered away, the Nine-Tails wasn’t idle either—it was busy eating. Beneath the pool of cola lay a layer of ice that defied the laws of thermodynamics. It cooled the drink without melting, prying open the coffin of physics alongside the oil lamp. They could already see Newton’s feet—but thankfully, Newton had been cremated.

Of course, if brought into the real world, the ice would melt. This space acted as a buffer zone between the game world and the Naruto universe, where the laws of physics were chaotic.

Sipping on ice-cold cola and taking swigs of strong liquor, it was like experiencing both ice and fire simultaneously.

Naruto couldn’t help but marvel at how much the Nine-Tails had learned to enjoy itself. It was only a matter of time before it started crafting giant swords.

The Nine-Tails paid no mind to what Naruto was doing. This brat was always messing around, but the things he created weren’t half bad. The problem was his lack of strength.

Yes, the Nine-Tails still harbored resentment over its Jinchūriki nearly getting mauled by a dog.

After two afternoon classes, Naruto and Sasuke would head to the small forest to train.

At five o’clock, Naruto would go home to pick up Hinata. By six-thirty, he’d send her back home, and by nine, he’d drop Sasuke off near the main street.

Sasuke stubbornly insisted on staying longer, and Naruto couldn’t exactly beat him to death.

Sasuke trained with reckless abandon. In the past, he’d cared about injuries, but now he didn’t. He knew that although Naruto always cursed and grumbled, he’d still heal him afterward.

Naruto’s rule remained unchanged: bite wrong, and he’d kill him.

---

The next day, Naruto received the book Shikamaru had brought.

After thanking him, Naruto copied the shogi rules onto the wall of his mindscape.

"Big Fox, memorize these," Naruto said.

"What is this?" the Nine-Tails asked, staring at the stone wall where Naruto had painted a chessboard and written out the rules in large letters.

The Nine-Tails had never seen shogi before—neither of its previous Jinchūriki had played it.

"It’s shogi, a strategy game. The words are the rules," Naruto explained.

"Oh." The Nine-Tails didn’t seem interested. How could this compare to the joy of eating?

"I’ve realized I’ll never beat you in physical strength, so I’ve decided to try my luck in intellect," Naruto declared. Seeing the fox’s disinterest, he added, "I’m challenging you."

"You dare challenge me?" The fat fox’s interest piqued instantly. Ordinary games didn’t excite it, but Naruto challenging him? Now that was intriguing.

"Mm-hmm," Naruto nodded.

"Interesting, brat. I accept your challenge," the Nine-Tails said, finally taking a serious look at the rules. It would show Naruto the depth of its thousand years of experience.

They had a board, they had rules—but no pieces yet, since Naruto had only managed to make the first one after three days of effort.

Struggling, Naruto lugged the piece in front of the Nine-Tails. The pieces were made of mithril for durability, but Naruto soon realized he couldn’t carve the characters onto them himself.

"Big Fox, come write them," Naruto said, handing over a mithril rod he’d crafted.

"My handwriting is terrible," the Nine-Tails complained.

"Could it possibly be worse than the scribbles on the wall?" Naruto pointed to the messy characters he’d written as a child, accompanied by a jumble of random English words underneath.

And seriously, you’re already this fat—shouldn’t you be worrying less about how neat your handwriting is and more about how you look?

The Nine-Tails thought about it and decided he was right. It began carving the characters while Naruto continued working on the pieces.

---

The next day, Sasuke, who had skipped class to train with Naruto, noticed something was off.

"Are you sick?" Sasuke asked, though he immediately doubted himself. After days of sparring with Naruto, he knew the guy’s body was monstrous. If there was ever an epidemic in Konoha, Naruto would probably be the last one standing—and likely unscathed.

Even kunai wounds healed almost instantly when he turned around.

Right now, however, Naruto was dragging a tree trunk, moving in jerky steps, like a high-ping warrior with over 2000 ping.

There was no helping it. While Naruto worked on the pieces in his mindscape, his body was dragging the tree in the real world. Both sides had significant lag. Even the mindscape was stuttering, leaving the Nine-Tails baffled.

"No, I’m just thinking," Naruto explained.

He couldn’t exactly say, I’m making toys for the Nine-Tails.

"Oh," Sasuke continued hammering the tree. He didn’t think Naruto looked sick—the guy’s voice was full of energy.

Then why had he been hospitalized last time?

Sasuke had asked Naruto about it before, but Naruto refused to answer.

It was too embarrassing to admit. Could he really say, I almost got mauled by a dog?

After school, Naruto picked up Hinata for some training.

Every time he saw Hinata collapse from exhaustion, her face flushed red as she bit her finger and sucked on it innocently, Naruto couldn’t resist pinching her slightly chubby, baby-like cheeks.

So, despite his absurdly high ping, Naruto suddenly reached out and gave her cheek a gentle pinch.

Her flawless skin was soft and plump, with an incredible texture.

"Mmm…" Heat rushed to her face and neck as blood prioritized those areas, forgetting to supply her brain. She promptly fainted.

Chapter end