Chapter 158: A Bunch of Lickspittles in Midgard

Chapter 158: A Bunch of Lickspittles in Midgard

(If you find the Marvel chapters not to your liking, feel free to skip to the next world. The last few chapters are free to read.)



"Hey, sir, have a seat."

"I've been sitting for a very, very long time. Now, standing is just fine."

Loki's gaze was deep, his posture straight, and a mysterious smile played on his lips as he looked at Lu Ke with a hint of nostalgia.

What a start!

Lu Ke dragged a stool over and sat down, sighing, "Alright, I admit it. I did something wrong. I shouldn't have written about your and Thor's tragic romance."

Loki's deep gaze and mysterious smile faltered for a second, "You wrote that too?"

Lu Ke: ...

Well, that's awkward. Did I just confess?

Lu Ke: "You didn't know? Aren't you the God of Stories?"

"Please don't call me that. Just call me Loki."

"Got it, Loki."

"..." Loki sighed, "I really have been sitting for a long time. Even hearing your cheeky remarks feels nostalgic."

Loki sighed, "First, let me clarify: being the God of Stories doesn't mean I know everything."

He tapped his head, "That's not entirely true. If I want to know something, very little can escape me. But trying to process information from countless timelines and worlds would overload even me."

As he spoke, a green data stream appeared in his eyes, and his expression grew increasingly strange, "What kind of plot is this... fighting for the throne... the loser gets... pregnant... Hela, Fenrir, and Jormungandr..."

"Is this something a carbon-based life form could come up with?"

Lu Ke rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, "I was trying to appeal to a female audience."

But instead of attracting a female audience, he ended up boosting his ratings with a bunch of LGBT activists.

"Thor and I are brothers."

"You were adopted."

The words slipped out of Lu Ke's mouth, and he immediately realized his mistake, "I mean, you're like brothers!"

"The God of Stories wouldn't be so easily thrown off by something like that."

Loki fell silent for a moment before sarcastically adding, "Your writing is still as bad as ever."

Lu Ke: (▼ヘ▼)



Well, that's a hit below the belt!

"Let's get to the point. Why did you specifically possess your younger self and trap me in a time loop?"

"I didn't come here on my own. You created a bug in the world, giving me the opportunity to come here."

Loki waved his hand, and an infinitely extending line appeared, "This is the normal development of this universe."

He pointed to a spot on the line, and a glowing point appeared, "Each world has a predetermined event that cannot be changed. It's the axis of the timeline, also known as the origin, a specific event, or a designated project. The name doesn't matter; what matters is that it's destined to happen, must happen."

Lu Ke nodded in understanding. He had seen the Marvel "What If?" series, which explored various if-possible branches of the universe. In one of those worlds, the predetermined event was the death of Dr. Strange's girlfriend, Christine.

To save Christine, Dr. Strange went back in time and tried every possibility, but each attempt led to her death in different ways. In the end, he even delved into forbidden magic, causing the world to end.

It was no surprise, given his status as one of the most powerful sorcerers.

"So, what's the axis of this world?"

"The plot of 'Thor.' Thor attacks the Frost Giants, gets exiled to Earth by his father, and the rest is irrelevant, but this event cannot be changed."

Lu Ke couldn't help but comment, "Is it really okay to say 'Thor' so openly?"

Loki waved the line away, "This is to help you understand more clearly."

He gazed at Lu Ke, "Because he lost to you, Thor's mindset has become more stable, and he has grown a little. Without external interference, he will ascend the throne smoothly, and the Frost Giants will not enrage him to the point of losing control."

"Um, that doesn't seem like a big deal. Didn't Dr. Strange's efforts to change fate also result in various unforeseen events that ultimately corrected the course?"

Lu Ke rubbed his head, thinking that under normal circumstances, some unexpected event would likely keep Thor on his original path.

Loki's gaze never left Lu Ke, "What do you think would prevent the timeline from being corrected?"

"It can't be me, right?"

Lu Ke swallowed, "If I'm so powerful, why am I stuck in this time loop now?"

"Your current strength is indeed not that impressive, but who knows about the future?"

Loki sighed, "A high status can disrupt the correction of events. Dr. Strange couldn't save Christine because he wasn't strong enough."

Even if he had become three times stronger, delved into forbidden magic, and summoned eye demons, he still wasn't strong enough to prevent the predetermined event.

Lu Ke tentatively asked, "So, you came here to correct it yourself? Couldn't you have sent someone from the Time Management Bureau?"

"If they were competent, I wouldn't have had to come myself... Admittedly, part of the reason is that I wanted to go back to Asgard, even if it's just a fleeting thought."

His true form was still on the chair, rejecting the Sacred Timeline's singularity and bearing all possibilities and countless timelines.

Loki's serious expression softened a bit, "After I leave, 'Loki' will work on the corrections. Just don't come back to Asgard again."

”

  “Then what does this have to do with the time loop?”  

  “Mainly, once you leave, I won’t have any reason to stay here anymore,” Loki said with a sheepish smile. “And I want to ask you to help find a partner for Thor.”

  Luk was momentarily speechless. It seemed the God of Stories had come over just to play matchmaker for his brother.

  “Isn’t Thor supposed to meet Jane in the future?”

  “Jane is too fragile. She can’t be a good companion for Thor.”

  Loki sighed, “He’s always been so strong, walking a determined path even when the future is uncertain. But why can’t he have a better future?”

  “At the very least, I hope that in the future, when Thor experiences countless sorrows, someone can hold him and let him cry.”

  Luk’s eyes welled up, and he rubbed them, even though no tears fell. He was deeply moved. This was true brotherly love.

  “Why don’t you do it yourself?”

  “The higher you sit, the heavier the burden on your shoulders. The more transcendent you become, the more you are bound,” Loki said with a deep, serious gaze. After a long pause, he shook his head. “I can’t act directly, at least not directly.”

  “I don’t know how to be a matchmaker…”

  “I’ll give you a reward after.”

  “…But everything has a first time!”

  Luk’s tone shifted, and he took out a small notebook with a determined look. “Don’t worry. I’ve watched enough matchmakers to have a wealth of theoretical pairing knowledge. Tell me, what kind of woman do you want for your brother?”

  “First, she needs to be long-lived. There’s no point if she won’t live long. Second, she needs to be powerful. A weak partner will only be a burden to Thor. Lastly, she needs to be beautiful. Otherwise, Thor might not be interested.”

  “What about Captain Marvel?”

  “Too tough. No.”

  “Scarlet Witch… Hmm, no, I’ll keep her for myself.” Luk crossed out Wanda’s name.

  “What about She-Hulk? Her physique should meet your requirements, giving Thor a sense of security.”

  “Are you serious?”

  Loki rubbed his forehead. “Preferably an Asgardian.”

  Luk’s eyes lit up. “I think Mjolnir fits your requirements. Can you turn the hammer into a person? That way, Thor can hold his wife in his hand.”

  Thinking about it, there was nothing wrong with Mjolnir.

  In terms of longevity, Mjolnir would outlive Thor. In terms of power, no one could say the hammer wasn’t strong. In terms of appearance, the hammer was top-tier… at least in the world of hammers!

  Loki’s face turned dark. “Yes, exactly. That way, he can hold his wife in his hand, use her to smash people, draw lightning, and pin down enemies.”

  “Exactly!” Luk nodded vigorously.

  “But it’s not a person!”

  “Besides not being able to… you know, what’s wrong with the hammer?” Luk said with disdain. “Do you really think Thor is that shallow, only looking for a partner who can… you know? He’s definitely seeking a deep, emotional connection!”

  On the table, Mjolnir’s runes suddenly glowed, as if it had something to say.

  “Mjolnir seems to have an opinion of its own.”

  Luk exclaimed, “This is true love.”

  Loki frowned, walked over, and touched the hammer’s runes. A green magic spell enveloped Mjolnir.

  “Hey! I can talk now, Loki, you’re pretty cool!”

  The hammer’s voice was rough. “Who would have thought my lickspittle could turn things around. So, you can wield me now, no problem!”

  “Hey, you over there, the clown mage, you too. Want to be my lickspittle? If you lick long enough, I might let you touch my handle.”

  Luk and Loki were both speechless.

  “Hey, why aren’t you talking? I have a lot to say. After existing for so long, it’s rare to have a say. Didn’t you just say I’d be a good match for Thor? Yeah, I think so too.”

  “I really love when Thor touches my handle. He always swings me around and cleans me, even kisses me. The only downside is he takes me everywhere except the bathroom. But I really do like him.”

  “Oh, you know my last owner? She was a dark-type girl. Though she was a girl, she was much stronger than Thor. She wielded me better than Thor by three levels, but she didn’t take good care of me…”

  The hammer kept talking, and Loki’s face turned darker. He tapped the hammer again, stopping the magic as it shouted, “Wait, I have more to say, don’t stop!”

  “Who knew Mjolnir had such a personality.”

  After a long silence, Luk broke the silence with an awkward laugh. “When it started talking, I thought someone had let a Deadpool out.”

  Loki rubbed his temples. “Anyway, think about it. Is there an Asgardian who fits my criteria?”

  Luk thought for a moment, looked at Loki strangely, and, after hesitating, mustered the courage to speak.

  “What if you gender-swapped and married your brother? That way, it could count as a union between the Frost Giants and Asgard.”

  Loki: 6

  He pinched his thumb and middle finger together.

  Snap—

  So close, Luk finally saw the start of the time loop. Green light covered everything, and the powerful time magic unfolded before his eyes.

  …

  “Can you help me with something?”

  “Sure thing!”

(End of Chapter)

Chapter end