Chapter 15

Ah, forget it. Let’s just say it’s a rabbit. Who’s going to know? At least I’d managed to deliver the gifts to Grandfather, even if the unexpected encounter had left me panicking. I slowly made my way toward the door, attempting to escape before I made any more mistakes. “Then Grandfather, I— Hic! I’ll, hic, be on my way now.”
“Stop right there,” he said.
Damn it. I turned around with the cutest smile I could summon up. Surely he couldn’t be so heartless as to punish this adorable face?
But Grandfather’s words were scarier than any punishment. “Since you’re here, let me ask you something.” He took a seat and motioned for me to sit in the chair facing his. “Sit over there.”
Oh no! How long was he planning to lecture me? I trudged toward the chair with heavy steps. As soon as I sat down, he began in a gentle tone. “Yeon.”
“Yes, Grandfather.”
“Do you think Pyo and Ak will reach the third level by the end of the year?”
“Huh?” I was utterly baffled. There was... no way. But I couldn’t say that.
“How could I know, Grandfather?”
“But didn’t you mention sequestered training as if you’d been waiting to bring it up?”
“Aunt— Hic! A-Aunt Euiran said that they would be ready.”
“No, you knew beforehand,” Grandfather said. “You knew from the beginning they wouldn’t be able to reach the third level. From what I’ve seen so far, I know you’re a bright girl. You brought up sequestered training to help me. Am I wrong?”
I looked at him in shock. Even my hiccups were silenced. I had been too obvious. To think he had figured me out this quickly! I lowered my eyes like a child caught red-handed. “No... You’re right,” I admitted cautiously. I needed to tell him the truth. Any second-rate lies would only anger my grandfather. “It seemed like you wanted to send the others to school, and I wanted to help...”
“Don’t ever do that again!”
I flinched in surprise at his sudden roar. His gaze was fierce but level. I bit my lip and apologized. “I’m... I’m sorry.”
“No, you still don’t understand,” Grandfather replied, rapping his knuckles on the table lightly. “What will Pyo and Ak think of you, now that you’ve spoken out against them like that? They must think that you did it to spite them. Imagine how they’ll treat you now!” He continued with evident frustration. “You can’t learn martial arts and your body is severely damaged. What if the twins decide to focus their efforts on bullying you?”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Huh? I didn’t know Grandfather knew the twins so well.
Unaware of my inner thoughts, Grandfather continued to speak. “You have neither your mother nor your real grandmother to support you. Even if your father cares for you, he can’t intervene in playground fights all the time, and he can’t stay at home forever. And don’t make the mistake of thinking I’ll side with you on such trivial matters.”
He may have sounded like he was warning me not to overstep by counting on my father and grandfather to back me up, but I knew he was only saying such things to me out of concern. Why is he suddenly giving me advice? I thought he didn’t like me. Or maybe...?
Maybe the events of the past few days had let him develop a shred of affection for me. In that case... I gulped and decided to lay it all out in front of him. “But Grandfather, what if they pick a fight with me?”
He raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“Pyo and Ak told me that I was a worthless piece of trash and that I was useless because I can’t learn martial arts.”
“What? They... really said those things to you?” Grandfather was speechless. His eyes bulged with anger.
I nodded earnestly. “Yes. That night we had dinner together, when my Father left the table for a moment before you arrived...”
Grandfather remained frozen for a moment, then slammed his fist down on the table. “What ill-mannered little brats! What is Euiran teaching those children? And you just left them to it without telling your father?”
“But it’s just a playground fight.”
Grandfather looked as though he had been sucker-punched.
I let a hint of sorrow enter my face as I pulled out my pre-rehearsed speech. “Grandfather, if I can’t even fight back after hearing words like those, will I ever be worthy to wield a sword, even if I recover my health?”
He had no answer.
“I want to be true to myself.”
Honest, dignified, and resilient in the face of any trial—isn’t that the ideal of all martial artists?
And… my own as well.
* * *
How did it come to this? Frozen with a spoon in hand, I stared blankly at the feast laid out in front of me.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Grandfather asked.
This is all because of those dumplings! I’d been moving to return to my quarters when Grandfather told me to stay and eat with him. I’d been about to say no, but he’d mentioned dumplings and now I was here at this table. I could already imagine how my cousins would react to hearing that I’d shared a private meal with Grandfather.
But the food is just too good to pass up... I barely noticed my feet bouncing with joy under the table as I bit into a dumpling.
“Eat faster! No wonder you’re so scrawny. Here, have some of this venison— I mean, deer meat,” Grandfather said.
“Deer?” I asked.
“That’s right. I suppose you’ve never seen one. They’re light brown and look like young cows.”
I picked up a thin strip of marinated brisket. Delicious! I was left speechless at how good it was.
Grandfather frowned at the overcome expression on my face. “You’re eating good food, why do you look ready to cry?”
“Because it’s so good...” I mumbled, then quickly added, “I’m sad that Father couldn’t join us.”
“That’s no reason to be sad. There’s plenty left for your father, so eat up!”
I giggled and scraped every last bit off of the plate.
A moment later, Grandfather opened his mouth again. “Every time you talk it’s ‘Father this, Father that.’ Do you really like him that much?”
I nodded. Wasn’t it obvious?
“How’s Euigang these days?” he asked.
I tilted my head at the strange question.
“I just mean, how is he doing in general? Aren’t you stuck to his side all day?”
I blinked a couple of times before ticking Father’s schedule off on my small fingers. “He gets up early in the morning for a light training session, and then he has breakfast with me when I wake up. Then he drinks some tea and goes on a walk with me, then he teaches me how to write, then he looks through his books all afternoon. When I’m taking my nap, he goes out on errands, and—”
“No, not that kind of... Never mind.” He stopped speaking midway, realizing that his question had gone over my head.
What is he trying to ask? I still didn’t understand. I pondered for a moment before putting the plate of venison down in front of him like I was just a kid who didn’t know anything. “Here, you should have some too, Grandfather.”
Whether it was due to my intense bout of hiccups or how nervous I’d been to be spending time alone with Grandfather, my eyes kept sliding shut after our late but large lunch. This was the problem with being a child: The will was strong, but the body was weak. I was too busy trying to cover my yawns even to drink the high-quality tea before me.
Grandfather clicked his tongue at me.
Eyes only half-open, I excused myself lamely. “This is usually my naptime...” It was also the only time I spent away from my father each day.
“Sleep here, if you’re so tired,” Grandfather said.
“But—”
“You’ll end up falling asleep on the ground halfway back to your room if you don’t.”
“Grandfather, please. I’m not a kid.”
“Then what are you, an adult?” he scoffed at my reply, but I was already half gone.
“Well...” I tried to stay awake, but with every passing moment, it became more and more difficult just to keep my head steady. “Then if it won’t be... a bovver...”
“Ha, where’d you hear an expression like that?”
An old servant guided me to a bed and helped me lie down. The comfort of the thick blanket placed over me dragged me into sleep almost immediately.
I could hear Grandfather’s voice coming from my bedside. “Let me ask you one thing.”
“Yes...?”
“Do you know anything about your mother?”
“Mmm...”
Looking back at it now, it was quite a serious topic. Grandfather might even have asked me to stay for lunch just to ask me that question. But I was half-asleep and couldn’t think that far.
“I don’t know anything. He didn’t tell me a-anything,” I mumbled. “But... I’m not dumb...”
“Dumb?”
I laughed weakly. “How could I not know... that my mother left me...”
Grandfather’s eyes widened in shock, but I had already fallen into a deep sleep.

Chapter end