Chapter 1. Entrance Ceremony?

Chapter 1. Entrance Ceremony?

[... The game is trash, but it's a fucking hot porn game. Honestly, what does a porn game need gameplay for? If it gets you horny, that's all that matters. But that's exactly why it's more infuriating. The sex scenes are ridiculously hot. The female characters are nonsensical perverts, sure, but it's a porn game, so that's fine. But fuck, the protagonist's intelligence is on chimpanzee level. And the story... if you can't write a story, just half-ass it. The sex scenes are hot as fuck, but the process of getting to them is a fucking tumor. And the protagonist, Lee Hoyeon, is just...]

"Hoo."

After finishing the game review I'd been writing as a hobby for years, I stretched my sore body.

What started as a hobby eventually turned into a job.

Sometimes I get ads and make some money.

The initial passion was long gone.

No matter how much you love something, once it becomes a job, you start to hate it.

But every now and then, a game comes along that reignites that old passion, like the one I reviewed today.

"Goddamn, I'm so fucking pissed."

'I thought, 'Finally, a masterpiece that'll make my balls clap like a seal!' But after playing it, I wanted to puke.

The sex scenes are hot, but you have to grind through a shitty RPG for three hours just to see one.

Soon after, comments agreeing with my review started pouring in.

"I agree. The gameplay is trash, but it still got me horny," and similar stuff.

'Yeah, even Buddha would have to admit this.'

One comment caught my eye.

[god6974]: "LMAO. What, you think you'd do any better as the protagonist? The story carries this game, dude."

Normally, I wouldn't respond to dumb bait like that, but I was still pissed at the devs for ruining such hot heroines. So I replied in anger.

[Me]: "If I were the protagonist, no joke, I'd be fucking every girl in sight."

[god6974]: "Wanna bet?"

[Me]: "Bet what, dumbass? Go work on yourself or something."

The dude replied instantly, like he'd been waiting for me to respond. Definitely an attention-seeking fuck.

I blocked him before he could say more and flopped onto my bed.

Instead of wasting time on clowns like that, I needed to figure out what game to review tomorrow.

Ding!

'Who the fuck is texting me this late?'

I barely get texts since I blocked every ad account and have no friends to text me.

[You gonna take the bet or not? Make up your mind.]

The sender was [god6974].

'Who the fuck...?'

The name from the review section popped into my head.

'Isn't that the dumbass from earlier?'

I don't have any friends who'd pull a prank like this. And my family doesn't even know I write porn game reviews.

[god6974]: [Ignore me one more time and you'll regret it.]

[Me]: [Who the fuck are you? Keep this up and I'm reporting you.]

I was gonna report him either way.

Not that I expected the cyber police to do much, but what else could I do?

[god6974]: [Come on. Bet with me. Think you can do better than the protagonist?]

[Me]: [Fuck off. I'm reporting you.]

I was a little nervous, but the sheer ridiculousness of the situation made me relax.

Imagine being so obsessed with a game that you harass some random reviewer. What a loser.

I saw a glimpse of our country's doomed future in that one comment. Not worth my time.

Getting stalked like this probably meant I'd gotten famous. Maybe not a bad thing.

'I'll report him first thing tomorrow.'

I put my phone down and closed my eyes, thinking about tomorrow's game plan.

*

"...Excuse me? Hello?"

Tap, tap.

'Fuck off. I'm sleeping.'

"Hey. I don't think you should be sleeping here."

'I'll sleep if I want to—wait, what?'

I was in my studio apartment when I fell asleep, but now some girl was waking me up.

My mind snapped awake.

In front of me stood a cute girl who looked vaguely familiar.

"Who sleeps during an entrance ceremony? Were you too nervous to sleep last night?"

Entrance ceremony?

I looked around. I was in a massive auditorium filled with students in matching uniforms. The upper levels were packed too.

Nearby students were glaring at me.

A floating text above the stage read: [32nd Victoria Academy Entrance Ceremony].

Floating. Not a banner—actual floating letters.

"What the fuck..."

I went to bed in my apartment and woke up here.

And the place felt familiar.

Then I remembered last night: that internet troll obsessed with [Sex Academy], a porn game.

[Next, we will hear the freshman representative's speech and oath.]

"..."

I glanced down.

A name tag clipped to my chest read "Lee Hoyeon."

Wow.

The floating text, the familiar uniforms, the heroines I'd seen in the game...

I'd somehow become the protagonist of [Sex Academy].

'What the actual fuck.'

Scanning the crowd, I recognized faces from the game: Lumi, Lucy, Elise, Nam Daeun... all heroines from [Sex Academy].

[Freshman representative, please come up to the stage.]

The ceremony continued, regardless of my existential crisis.

A blonde girl stood from the front row and walked to the stage.

Her long hair shimmered with each step, her pale skin like fresh snow. Her confident eyes radiated arrogance.

Her tits bounced slightly with each step, and her round, firm ass swayed with hypnotic allure.

"Whoa, is the top student a foreigner?"

"She's the daughter of some foreign mega-guild. Apparently, she aced the written exam."

"Hot and smart. What a combo."

The auditorium buzzed as the girl reached the podium.

That was Elise, daughter of a French guild leader and one of the main heroines.

She unfolded the speech on the podium.

"Good morning, fellow students and parents..."

Typical stuff.

"Now, the oath."

I wanted to get up and figure out what the hell was happening, but I stayed put.

[That concludes the 32nd Victoria Academy Entrance Ceremony. Thank you for your attendance.]

The students scattered afterward.

I quickly headed to the dormitory.

*

I tapped my smart watch against the door sensor and entered.

The dorm was way bigger than my old apartment.

I tossed my uniform onto a chair and flopped onto the white bed.

"What the fuck do I do now?"

I pinched my cheek. It hurt. Not a dream.

My reflection in the mirror showed Lee Hoyeon's face.

"..."

I thought 'status window' in my head.

--------------------

[Lee Hoyeon]

▶ Strength: 34

▶ Stamina: 35

▶ Agility: 30

▶ Endurance: 34

▶ Magic: 36

- Unique Ability: Combat Sense

- Skills: None

???: ???

--------------------

Holy shit. Status window.

'Combat Sense' was Lee Hoyeon's signature ability.

I was officially a porn game protagonist.

"Hmm..."

Wasn't this actually a good thing?

I was hot as hell, with a top-tier combat ability.

No downsides so far.

Ding.

My smart watch vibrated.

[Lee Hoyeon, you are assigned to Class A. Please report to the first-year building, Class A, by 9 AM tomorrow.]

Class A—the same as in the game, packed with important characters, mostly girls, obviously.

"Let's hit the shower and think this through."

I stripped and jumped into the shower. Afterward, I threw on some casual clothes from the closet.

Toweling my hair dry, I stepped out.

"Huh?"

An unfamiliar envelope lay on my desk.

'That wasn't there before.'

I picked it up. A plain, sealed envelope with no markings.

"Must've missed it earlier."

Probably just dorm rules. I'd been too distracted to notice it.

I tore the seal open.

Light and letters poured out and rearranged themselves in midair.

Chapter end