BornAndTorn 82 A "good" idea 2

"While your story answers every question I had, I find it hard to believe you given your behaviour."

"What could I even gain from lying to you? You are in charge of this world to a big degree only second to the system itself, what could I do that you can not revert?. I am far away from any players, that could force you to adapt your actions. I know next to nothing about this world, so any ambition to change this world is nothing more than a fools dream. I am having my hands full with just surviving in this place. " I said in an unperturbed fashion.

As the horde of monsters continued to die in the lake getting torn to shreds by the strange fish inhabiting this sea. I pondered on what exactly had left a dubious impression. It surely knew, that my first story, was nothing more than a joke to toy with it for a bit. It should have been obvious, looking at all the things I deliberately left as clues next to me. Even if it did not pay attention to the fate of these monsters, it could easily guess that I have been lying by all the holes in my story.

The strange state of mind could only be explained by this infuriating something trapped inside of me. How the hell did it even accomplish that feature, inducing my whole body in such a wonderous state? Maybe I should ask the Observer about it, as inquiring information was impossible at the moment. For whatever reason, it refused to answer to me and my questions. Did I offend it, by forcing it to put an end to the trance it had put me under?

Was my act of using the poison really that untypical for me? This hypothesis seems laughable, from all the outrages deeds I have committed so far, there should be no doubt left, that I have no qualms about using anything I can get my hands on. Honour or shame was not something I cared all too much about.

The decision to not continue the endless fight should also be a no-brainer as I wanted to live a little longer in this strange world. I had done so much to have my little piece of heaven, far far away from any players and I did not want to lose this benefit through one stupid decision

During my whole thinking process, the Observer had yet to speak another word. Yet I had already run out reasons, that might be the cause for this miscommunication. How could I convince the Observer, that I do not want to deceive it? Doubling down on my story will not make the story any more believable.

Despite my continuous thinking, I could not come up with a solution to my problem. Maybe I should just wait to what the Observer has to say before I continue this thought process. After all, it is capable of reading my thoughts, so it would know my confusion.

Right after I had finished my thought the Observer voiced his thoughts.

" Any outsider would believe you on the spot. You are nothing more than a victim of chance, that got dragged into this unfortunate situation. Just managing to survive by giving away valuable intel and dragging your wounded body to an island in the middle of a lake."

The voice of the Observer sounded a bit different than usual as the voice appeared in my brain. There was a faint trace of disappointment in it.

" Your story was just too perfect. Everything had just been orchestrated from the moment you set foot into this area. Your first bewilderment was just a tool to let your ant queen escape from your body to scout the area to adapt your strategy. Falling in a trance fighting the monsters, was nothing more than a ruse to lure me out. As if, that monster dwelling inside of you would have taken over your body just now. It would have done so much earlier if it had the qualifications to do so. That means that you let it take over your body on purpose correct?"

It stopped and waited for me to confirm or deny these allegations but I did neither and only asked it to continue its deductions.

" Your primary target was to come into contact with me and even If I did not reply you would not have suffered a loss. WIth the ridiculous demand you stated, you were aiming to acquire certain information from me. You had no way of knowing, whether I would actually follow through with it. My suspicion is that you wanted to learn more about the youths that had tortured you prior to your arrival. But I wonder why you went through all of that preparation, for what seems to be a low payoff."

Let me get rid of the big misconception that is plaguing your mind. I could not care any less about those nutjobs. What benefit would any knowledge about them bring to me? I have never seen anyone in the whole time I have been here, so there is a big chance, that they are somewhere entirely different. Although the premise of vengeance has a certain enticement to it, I won't act on a whim and pass up on this opportunity.

That being said, let me just dispel the rest of your doubts. My target had been to get to know whether you had lied to me in the beginning or not. Nothing more and nothing less. This should not be something, that surprising to you giving all my prior statements. I could confirm, that you either lied to me or deliberately did not tell me the full truth. Whatever your intention behind doing so was, is secondary.

Your authority enables you to wield the power to determine my fate at any point in time, therefore I am still of use to you, otherwise, you would have disposed of me already. With my current position in mind, I decided to set up this little act.

With the knowledge, that all the things you have stated possibly being lies, I am left with no other choice, than treating each word you have said and will say with that mindset.

This change should not affect the current status of our current relationship but will have an impact on its future development.

" Which benefit do you expect coming from telling me all of this? There seem to be only downsides to it from my point of view."

The most fitting description would be to call it a safety measure. I did not know, whether this was just a test from your side to see how I react or something entirely different. But the true reason might be that I hate false expectations.

Furthermore, it is within your capabilities to read my thoughts, therefore keeping my thoughts a secret from you is just too cumbersome. All the preparations and risks involved are totally not worth it.

"Why did you willingly gave away this method to temporarily escape from my monitoring?"

You would surely suspect, that something was wrong if my thoughts disappear from time to time. There is not much use to keeping secrets if they cause me more trouble than they are worth. Outright telling you the method carries far fewer risks with it and should work in my favour given my position.

" This goal aligns with your personality. According to your usual behaviour, you are defiantly hiding more than you let me in on. That much seems fair but proceed with caution. The future is full of uncertainties. "

It left those words behind before the contact stopped, whether that last statement was a blatant threat or "heartfelt" advice is not up to speculation. Lifting my weary body, I grabbed the horn, that already had been covered in the blood of many unfortunate creatures.

Slowly moving forward I approached the monsters, that tried to approach this island only to be stopped by the vicious sea life eating it.

The future had never truly been in my mind, everything related to it happens haphazardly. Finding a purpose for my life has always been my goal, but strangely whatever answer I found myself left me with the same kind of empty feeling. Was it supposed to be this way, I will likely never know.

After I had crossed the lake and left it with many small fishes still gnawing on my flesh, I started to attack the horde of monsters, that had shifted their focus to me. I had to move my body constantly in order to avoid being surrounded by these predators. Whether I decided to dodge the claws from the bear in front of me or stepping forward to ram the horn into its eyes, alternates and changes the future by a lot.

Some roads may lead to premature death, others will lead to certain victory. I would be lying if I knew which one I had to take in order to achieve the impossible. I had decided to dodge the attack by ducking it, this choice eliminated many other options I could take but enabled me to do many other things as well. But regardless of what I would choose my path was destined to deviate more and more from all the initial choices that I could have made.

The missed attack from the bear resulted in a shift of its balance. This flaw was a consequence of its actions and I could launch the horn into one of its eyes if I intended to do so. Instead, I aimed at its legs, to destroy the footing of its strengths.

Piercing one of the legs it has been standing on, forced the bear to react to my offence. Yet, this small mistake it had made, will lead to its demise, as it failed to compensate for the disadvantages, that resulted out of its first attack. If it knew the outcome prior to attacking it surely would have chosen otherwise, but in the end, it had chosen wrong and died for it.

Time did not stand still while I fought against the Bear and many other monsters were influenced by my acts and their choices changed based on my decisions. This was just a mere battle between a few individual beings, yet it was already a complex equation.

But realistically speaking, does this complex equation truly matter? None of my actions would truly change the course of history. If I lost my life here the world who still continue without me. If a monster dies by my hand it just respawns in a few minutes. This equation is nothing but a minuscule part of this world. Insignificant and negligible in the grand scheme of time.

Future? Why should I bound my worth to this concept?

I will not bind myself to any useless concept, that dictates my fate. Live for the moment, fight for a better tomorrow. Why do I have to follow anything, that forces me to do something?

it's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I am alive. These words appeared in my mind and summed up exactly what I felt.

There is not much I want from this life. I do not have big aspirations or big dreams or a burning desire to leave my mark on history. I want to see the world and just be. I just wanna live My life.

Like Frankie said I did it my way...

That truly is a good idea.

Chapter end