Black Romance Chapter 9

Jessie

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The lock popped and the door swung outward, giving way to a bright burst of light .

"Get up . "

Lifting my head, I blinked rapidly, trying to focus on the figure . Virgo was standing with his hand out, his brows furrowed into the bridge of his nose .

AdvertisementPushing myself up off the ground, I took his hand and let him help me up . "What day is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden onslaught of light .

"It's Wednesday . " His voice was deep and harsh, not caring at all that I had spent three days in that room . "And you need to get back to work . "

My entire body ached, my muscles tight and tender from being cramped in the small room . Pins and needles started to ripple up my legs, sending electric snaps across the skin .

"Can I shower first?" Keeping my head on my feet, the light hurt my eyes, giving me an instant headache . "And maybe something to eat?"

Grumbling, Virgo yanked me along, making me walk faster than my tired legs could carry me . "We're not a fucking hotel, Jessie, you should know that by now . Then again, there's a lot you should know, and yet you still like to fuck with me . " His nostrils flared as he looked down at me . "You have one hour in your room to do whatever the hell you need to . Don't make me come looking for you, you won't like what happens if I have to come get you . " Giving me a firm push, Virgo stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching me go up to my room .

I didn't argue . The last thing I wanted was to be tossed back into that room, with just water to hold me over . I got lucky this time, my only punishment was the solitude . I wasn't sure why he hadn't sent someone to hurt me .

Maybe he had given up on physical pain because I didn't react to it like the other girls . I didn't scream, I didn't beg them to stop . I shut down and escaped into my mind, refusing to let him gain any satisfaction from my suffering .

Or maybe he just knew that being completely alone was far worse to me than any pain he could try and drum up . It was awful not being able to talk to anyone else there, but at least knowing people were around me felt less lonely than none at all .

Making my way into my room, I flopped my body onto the thin mattress, curling up into the smallest ball I could . I wanted to cry, I could feel the water as it crept up over the thin edge of my lids, but I didn't, instead forcing it back down into the depths of my soul where everything else lived .

I didn't cry anymore . There was no point in shedding a tear over shit I couldn't control . That part of me, the human part that had feelings and emotions didn't exist anymore . I had locked everything up, hoping that one day I'd be able to unleash them all and live normally .

The only emotion I could feel at all was hate .

Hate for Virgo .

Hate for this godforsaken place .

Hate for anyone who stepped foot in the club .

I wanted to kill them all .

What did that make me? Was I a monster too?

I didn't feel like a monster . But what do you call someone who can only imagine tearing the balls from a client and stuffing them down their throat?

What name do you give to someone who dreams about slicing the throat of a man and basking in his tears as he slowly bleeds to death at their feet?

You're a fucking monster . But you weren't born this way, you were created .

Laying down for a few minutes, I reluctantly dragged my ass out of the bed and took a quick shower . Washing my body, I scrubbed my head and nails, watching the dirt swirl in the water at my feet and disappear down the drain .

I wish I was normal . I wish my life hadn't turned out this way .

Wishes . . . Wishes were God's way of making you feel even less significant . My mother had called us the innocent, and I believed her . If that was true, then how could he turn his back on the innocent and not listen?

There was a time where I used to pray . I would kneel down every night and send him my heartfelt wishes . Wishes of being found, wishes of being free, wishes of not being in pain anymore .

And all he gave me was silence . I was done praying to someone that never answered .

Throwing on an old pair of leggings and a grungy t-shirt, I made a quick sandwich and ate it as fast as I could .

My room wasn't much, about the size of a really small dorm . I had a bathroom and a raggedy old couch, a small hotel sized fridge and a closet full of clothes I didn't pick out . There were bars on my windows, and locks on the outside of my door . Everything was brought to me; food, clothes, hygiene stuff; the bare essentials to keep me alive .

I was as much a prisoner as any other criminal, except my crime was just being alive .

Chapter end