Beyond the Noisy World: The Long Lost Eight Sects Chapter 3: No Man is Good (1)

“Dr. Ding, I still like to call you Dr. Ding. Actually, I’m here not because I want to change my opinion on men, but mainly I want to know how to change my mother’s opinion on me. I don’t want her keep forcing me to go on blind dates.”

The speaker was a young woman, sitting with her shoulders not fully relaxed, elbows suspending, and hands on sides of her thighs which closed together. Her back didn’t touch the sofa and, while talking, her head leaned forward slightly.

This was the third consultation between Ding Qi and the visitor. During the previous two talks no breakthroughs had been made, more or less due to the counselee’s obvious resistance and her strong impulse of self-defending.

In the first “intake interview”, Ding Qi had told her not to call him Dr. Ding because the relationship between them was counselor and counselee rather than that of doctor and patient. However, Ding Qi had to compromise out of the principle of respect and acceptance since she insisted on calling him that way.

The so-called “intake interview” starts since the first time a consultant receives the counselee. Through techniques such as listening, raising questions, reflexing and guiding, the consultant should ascertain the counselee’s explicit and implicit purpose, find the potential psychological problems, and collect and organize relevant information file about the counselee.

This counselee had finished her intake interview.

Ding Qi did not show a smile, but he was listening sincerely and focused and said with a gentle and patient tone, “What we should change is not only opinions but also what to do; in addition, the focus should be you not your mother. At the beginning, you thought you had nothing wrong; it’s just your mother worried too much. After our conversation, you come to realize that you do have inner conflicts which have bothered your life, so it means we’ve made progress along conversations, right?”

While speaking, Ding Qi “opened” pages of record—not of a notebook on the table but in his mind, like that of a laptop or PC file.

Name: Liu Guonan

Gender: Female

Age: 27 years old

Occupation: Graphic Designer in New Media Industry

Place of birth: Local (namely Jinghu)

Education level: Undergraduate

Marital status: Unmarried; No Previous Marriage History. According to her mother and her self-report, no stable relationship ever. Judging from the content of their conversations, no sexual experience so far.

……

Problems by Initial Diagnosis: The visitor insisted that no man was good. Her mother worried a lot for it and had arranged many blind dates for her, persuading her to find a man and get married. The counselee found her mother’s worry unbearable and was quite bothered by it. When describing the counselee’s history, her mother indicated concerns about her daughter’s sexual orientation.

The counselee seemed to be seeking help for psychological consultancy passively at the repeated request of her mother, but she was willing to try psychological counselling as a solution. She had made three appointments and for the last two she had come all by herself, indicating that subconsciously, she expected to get help in spite of the explicit resistance.

She claimed her original purpose was not to solve her issues, but simply to avoid her mother’s nagging and to use this as an excuse not go to blind dates arranged by her mother. Though not going through test of chromosomal abnormality, preliminary diagnosis showed that the counselee had no homosexual tendency.

For most lesbians couples, the active party usually had the problem of sexual role identification disorder while the passive party had the issue of sexual partner choosing. Gay couples the other way around. The counselee presented no deviation in sexual role identification or partner choosing. Rather, she was just convicted that no man was good. What she claimed and did reflected exactly a psychological status of a female’s self-identification and choice.

The counselee had clear recognition of and viewed the opinion she held, the situation she was trapped in and her bothers as a personal character which happened to be at odds with those of others around her. She felt bothered by it and demonstrated consistency at the psychological level, which was also in accord with introverted and perfectionist personalities.

The possibility of psychotic symptoms could be excluded, and no characteristics of mental disorders were detected. She did have certain inner conflicts but within the range of mental activities for a normal person.

It was hard to imagine all the information was “opened” in mind, as clear and fast as a flipbook. Systematic induction of memories and information was completed without turning a hair. However, this wasn’t some kind of superpower but a skill of an outstanding phycologist after long-term professional training, something distinguished him from an average person.

Mastering this ability requires being extremely focused and long-term training. In theory, this is a must for all brilliant psychological consultants but as their gifts and endeavor varies, they naturally master this skill to different extents.

Ding Qi was undoubtedly very gifted and devoted, so he mastered the professional skill to the top level. Prof. Liu Feng had even named this skill as “Mind-Book Reading”—a name not widely recognized in the industry though.

In the process of psychological counseling, unless approved by the counselee, the consultant mustn’t do on-site recording, especially throughout the preliminary intake conversation so as to avoid doubts and aversion from the visitor. Therefore, this requires the consultant to be able to accurately memorize what the counselee has said and to capture the most relevant core elements from the counselee’s segmental speeches throughout the hour-long conversation. All this is done in the consultant’s mind.

The summarized information can contain various tables and files, which means that the consultant is filling up in his/her mind all kinds of tables and documents while talking. This professional technique will also be applied in later conversions in order to give the counselee timely and reasonable feedbacks.

Often, it is only after the counselee has left that the consultant can write these down in case of forgetting. Before the next consultation, the records should be reviewed again because during the conversation these cannot be referred to on spot but presented and used in mind.

The consultant also has to be careful not to be distracted in the process. He/She must pay constant attention to the content of the conversation and the counselee’s reaction when, at the same time, materials stored in the mind keeps reforming and being used for feedbacks. Despite his age, Ding Qi could be called a master of “Mind-Book Reading” in this regard.

The temperature and light in the consultation room were very comfortable, and there were no redundant furnishings that might cause the counselee distracted or unsettled. Only two sofas, a short one and a long one, and one coffee table without pens or notebooks but only two paper cups on it.

A pen might become a harmful weapon in special occasions, so it’d better be avoided. Even when a pen is a must, it should be placed out of the counselee’s reach. Walls of a consultation room are sound-proof, but the door can’t be locked up—measures to prevent accidents from happening as well as to protect the consultant’s safety.

Patients with mental disorders that are easily diagnosed through simple observation and inquiry would usually be sent to department of psychiatry for treatment. In theory, they are not targeted clients of consultants, but measures should be taken just in case. Most counselees, at least here, had psychological or emotional issues.

While Ding Qi was sorting out the “Mind Book”, Liu Guonan responded, “I didn’t think I have any issues but after two rounds of conversation with you, I suppose I have some issues to solve, I do have… Dr. Ding, many people around me believe I’m sick. Do you feel the same way?”

Ding Qi replied seriously, “I’ve answered this question the first time we met. I told you that you didn’t have issues, at least in medical terms, you didn’t demonstrate neurotic or psychotic syndromes. You are a normal person, but a normal person may have psychological bothers from time to time and be in a state of mental unhealth sometimes, which affects his/her life.”  

Liu Guonan nodded with satisfaction, “Yes, you are very professional and principled. You gave me this analysis last time… In this case, how can I make my mother stop bothering me?”

Chapter end