Become a World Boss? No Thanks! Chapter 8-9

World Boss? No Thanks! 8: If You Can't Eat Meat, How About Dirt Instead!?

"Cough, ptooey…" I promptly spat out the seemingly adorable but deadly life form before it could choke me to death.

I initially thought that it was a soft, mushy slime, kind of like a fruit slushie, but the moment it slid down my throat, I knew I was wrong; who would have ever expected such an unpleasant sensation, not me clearly!

Its consistency felt almost like mud and was basically inedible. 'Damn, even though I'm starving right now, I'll have to pass on this. Endure, endure…'

"Fumu, wub wub."

'Oh, what do we have here? That slime seems extra mad now that I spat it out. Hey, I didn't even eat you to begin with...you're so hard to swallow after all.'

"Fumu fumu." The slime's jelly twisted into the shape of a tiny fist and began feebly punching me.

*pah pah*

'Sh*t, I can't take it anymore, it's too cute! I think my nose is about to bleed.'

'Where's the heartless fellow who tried to eat this adorable little creature, sheesh. Just look at that, its gelatin is still covered in drool. Truly a monster, that fellow.'

'No, no, it wasn't me who tried to eat it. How should I say this...it's my split personality. That's right! The Evil King True Dragon was the one who tried to eat it…'

'Alright, alright, it's that guy's fault, here, I'll apologize on his behalf.'

I gently extended a claw towards it as a sign of goodwill. Wobbling, it looked at my extended dragon claw and then turned to look at my broad, grinning choppers filled with kindness and mirth.'

'Eh? Why is it trembling in fright?! I don't mean you any harm, here, handshake handshake...maybe it's my smile?'

With that in mind, I put on an even more radiant smile.

'Eh, why is it running away. Come back, I'm really lonely by myself…'

'I get it, you don't like others smiling at you, right? Because the slimes have no face of their own, I have to be expressionless as well.'

Thus, I put on my best expressionless.jpg.

'Mhm, looks like it's finally working out. Just look at the little slime jump onto my claws. That elegant jiggling, it's so alluring...oh my, it jumped onto my head directly.'

'Oooo, it's so cute. As expected of Slime-chan, everyone's idol. No wonder it was voted the most popular monster amongst all the RPGs...that soft, slender figure, those clear, black eyes and that cerulean shade of blue...so cute!'

However, food was still an issue as my stomach was quick to remind me.

*rumble rumble...*

"Fume?!"

'That's right, Slime-chan, my tummy is hungry. Do you know any barbecue stall nearby run by some skilled master? Ah, I'm dying here.'

At that, the slime jumped off my head and pointed at the soil.

'Ah. No, I can't eat that…'

However, it didn't seem to understand me at all and proceeded to demonstrate the proper etiquette for eating grass and soil. Judging by those "mu mu", it seemed to be enjoying itself as well.

'No, even if you show me that expression, I won't eat dirt…'

'No matter what, I'm still a dragon and this dragon wants meat!'

With that in mind, I began frantically searching around… 'Found it...right over there. That textbook example of a herbivore: a snowy white deer. Tasty and safe to eat, whether it's reality or in-game! I've decided, I choose you!'

'Even though its five horns look rather strange...but no matter how I look at it, there shouldn't be a problem, right?'

'Here I go! Itadakimasu!'

Seeing me pounce, the white deer merely stood there and with a gentle swish of his head, tossed a [Wind Blade] at me.

'Hmph, does it look like a low level skill like that will damage me?! Come then, bring it on!!!'

*puchi* The [Wind Blade] rushed at me with subsonic speeds and...damaged me. 'Waaah, it hurts so much!'

4731!

'Hmm? This...this script is a little off, isn't it?! Isn't that damage a little too high!?'

I immediately brought up the status menu…

HP: 4301/9032

'Isn't that too painful, what's going on here?! Ahhh, despair!'

'Don't tell me this white deer is a big brother as well?! Ahem, Big Brother, please don't be angry, I'm just joking with you…'

*weep weep weep* As I continued trembling, I slowly backed away from the deer. It didn't chase after me and seemed content to gaze at me from a distance.

'Just you wait! Three decades eastward, three decades westward! This dragon will have his day, someday! *weep weep weep* Once I become a Martial Emperor, I'll come get you!'

'I...think Slime-chan is right, for a low level like me, I shouldn't be so picky!'

Thus, after taking a deep breath, I shoved my face into the dirt.

'That's right, the ancients once said, at the height of one's arrogance, one must eateth dirt! The ancients were right!'

'Itadakimasu!' *weep weep weep*...

[Congratulations, Widdle Dragon has earned the title, Dirt-eating Dragon King. Furthermore, Widdle Dragon has earned the passive skill [I Want to Eat Dirt]! Soil digestion rate has increased by 10%!]

'......'

'F^#k you! You hear me, system, f#@k you!'

'A passive like that I can live without! I don't want to be such a weak sauce boss anymore!'

Footnotes:

Credits:

Special thanks to Kaung Thant Win Naing!!

World Boss? No Thanks! 9: Because I Didn't Know How to Continue So I Did a Time Skip!

"Fumu fumu."

"Ow ow roo."

Amidst a vast field of swaying grass, a slime and a dragon roared in perfect harmony. Slime-chan was currently chomping down on a layer of earth and soil; she seemed rather focused on that task. As for me…

'Exactly what the heck am I doing?! Why am I munching dirt as well…that white deer was truly a formidable foe, I almost kicked the bucket back there. Looks like you can't judge a deer by their horns either, don't cha know!'

'Also, why isn't there a damned [Appraisal] skill in this RPG of mine. Why is my isekai experience so different from others...if I had info on that white deer, that mess wouldn't have happened at all! As a boss, why can't I inspect a damn thing, exactly whose evil idea was that?!'

'On a side note, once you get used to eating dirt, it's not that bad...how should I say it, it tastes just like slime…' Beside me, Slime-chan inexplicably shivered.

'Based on what I've observed so far, in order for me to survive in this world, I need to carefully observe the monsters around me as well. Otherwise, I have to spend the rest of my life eating dirt…'

[ [Simple Logic] Proficiency has increased to Lv.3!]

'I see you agree with me as well, System-kun.'

'I guess eating dirt so contentedly doesn't me suit me after all (I'm full already anyway), either way, I should grow stronger first!'

…..

Three days later…

'Huhu, impressive, to think you were actually able to fight with me to this extent…' I couldn't help but sigh with admiration at the foe in front of me.

"Hiss!" Amidst its death throes, a blackwinged python flared its obsidian colored wings and slithered slightly to the side as if it was trying to scare me off with a last ditch attempt at an attack…

'Perhaps that might have been able to scare off some ordinary critter, but who am I?! I'm a dragon, that's who. There's no way I'll be scared off like that! I've seen such threats a dozen times over already!'

'After extensive and prolonged observations, I've grasped the movement patterns of all the grassland creatures! It's definitely not because it managed to scare me off previously, definitely not!'

"Hiss!" Its jaws snapped open and fired off a purple blob at me. Skill--- [Poison Bullet]!

I immediately jumped to the left and swiftly dodged that blob. Glancing to the side, I found a slowly blackening patch of dirt where it landed as if it was in the process of being corroded.

'I have to say, this poison is truly powerful. You're just a python and yet you can actually use poison! Were you able to pick up this special skill simply because you are a serpent…'

'However...I've already prepared my defenses against this skill of yours! For this dragon who had gone through the process of eating dirt, eating grass and eating insects, and for this dragon who had undergone long, long periods of physical training, how could he allow you to spit on him so easily!?'

'Accept your death, Blackwing Python! Take this, [Bite]! This is the skill I picked up after all that insect eating. Those critters have an unexpectedly hard shell, don't cha know! And that's why, this bite of mine, will definitely penetrate that hide of yours!'

My jaws opened wide and revealed a set of razor sharp fangs that promptly and viciously bit into it. Working my lower mandibles to their utmost limit, I continually tore into that blackwing python.

As I did so, the blackwing python continued flopping about. However, no matter how much it struggled, it wasn't able to escape my powerful lower jaws. All it could do now was continuously fire off more [Poison Bullets] to try and hurt me. Unfortunately for it, such attacks just seemed so feeble before my might.

'Time to die.' *chomp* I violently whipped my head to the side and tore off a decent chunk of its flesh in the process. Thus, with regret and hate in its eyes, it glared at me for one last time.

'I'm sorry, Mister Python and also, thank you. You will soon become my first taste of meat in a long time and live on within my stomach.' I couldn't help but let forth that mental lamentation.

'This Full-Immersion experience is just too real, I swear. I'm starting to feel a little guilty about killing it already. However, what choice do I have? Dragon's gotta eat meat! Hahaha!'

[Widdle Dragon has gained 20 XP!]

[Widdle Dragon has risen to Lv.8! [Bite] Proficiency has increased to Lv.4]

'Sigh, you might be wondering why I only managed to reach Lv.8 after three full days? Alas, I truly had no say in this matter...in a RPG, the two fastest ways level up were basically these two, completing missions and completing instances.'

'That's right, none of these methods were usable for a world boss like me. Thus, the only other option for levelling up was to grind mobs. Only by mindlessly piling on XP was I able to achieve such a stable rate of levelling up.'

However, based on my current situation, finding mobs and drawing them away in a Full-Immersion RPG like this simply took too much time. That was why this method could be said to have the lowest efficiency rating.

In these three days, I discovered a number of things. For example, it wasn't guaranteed that I would gain a 1% boost to my attributes whenever I levelled up. It probably had something to do with some conditions I wasn't aware of.

When I discovered that point after reaching Lv.3, it left me upset for quite some time.

Another thing I discovered was about this skill of mine called [Boss Oppression Strength]. It seemed to create a boss-like aura around me and any creature weaker than me would flee at the sight of my greatness. As for those who were stronger than me, they seemed to immediately raise their guard upon noticing me…

'Really, what's the use of that damned skill?! Do you know how hard it was to find meat because of that?!'

'Moreover, it seemed to be continuously levelling up as well! It was already Lv.6 and higher than any of my other skills…'

Footnotes:

Credits:

Special thanks to Kaung Thant Win Naing!!

Chapter end

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