Ball of Nothing Chapter 234 - Zero Faces His Fears

Lunch was a silent affair and highly uncomfortable for everyone. Ruth returned in time to help Mitchnew cook but Hua Tuo couldn't get his apprentice to cheer up. Zero seemed to have retreated into a shell and Mitchnew was worried.

Ruth didn't feel comfortable looking at Zero's meek behaviour. He felt as if he'd done something horrible and couldn't help but blame himself for it. He did a lot of reflecting inside the forest while he roamed around with no destination in mind. The words he coldly threw at the teen before he left bothered him a lot. Seeing how much it actually affected Zero made the vampire lose interest in food. He ate mechanically, not able to enjoy the taste of Mitchnew's special spice mix.

The meal was completed in silence and Ruth tried to escape the gloomy atmosphere by volunteering for dishes duty. Mitchnew was smart enough to leave as well. Hua Tuo looked like he wanted to talk to Zero alone and the ex-assassin decided that it might be a good idea for someone else to try the soft approach.

Zero wasn't very responsive when the dishes were cleared. He continued to stare at the polished wooden table in silence and Hua Tuo decided that enough was enough. 

Without another word, Hua Tuo told Zero to follow him. The teenager did so without protest but his eyes still looked dead as his feet shuffled along. Hua Tuo didn't comment on it and brought them to the most secluded place on Endow Hill that he knew.

Zero didn't really take notice of where he was going until he heard the rush of water. When he looked up, they were at a very beautiful lake with a huge waterfall at least twenty metres tall. Zero looked at his mini-map and blinked. There wasn't any forest in the vicinity apart from the one they were in. Something felt off about this place and he quickly snapped out of his brooding mood.

Hua Tuo waited for the realisation to settle down and was amused that it took Zero a good three minutes to realise they were no longer in the same dimension. He led Zero right through Sleepy Cave and to a different dimension that Hua Tuo discovered. This could be said to be Sleepy Cave's greatest mystery because it didn't matter what other paths Hua Tuo took. If he followed this path, he would never fail to arrive at this lake and waterfall.

Zero blinked at the lake where the waterfall was connected to. It was strange.

"Shifu... why does the lake not move?"

Hua Tuo wasn't disappointed at the keen observation. Indeed, it was no ordinary lake and waterfall. He brought his apprentice here for one purpose. While Zero was strong and powerful, it didn't mean that there were no weaknesses. Hua Tuo discovered this place on accident and luckily, he had Buddha's talisman to protect him the first time he was lured into the water.

Zero inspected the lake and blinked. "Lake of Reflection?"

Nothing more was said and Zero wondered if there was something wrong with Mind's Eye because usually, he would be seeing a short description of the place. Right now, Zero was having difficulty working out the translated script that was disfigured by Mind's Eye system. There was something preventing him from knowing the mysteries of this place and that made Zero more curious.

"The lake surface is not disturbed even though the waterfall is very violent... shifu, I think there's something wrong with this place. It's not on Endow Hill either. Where are we? What are we doing here?"

The physician expected just as much. Zero as a teen was still as inquisitive as his younger self. It was nice to know that something won't change easily. The physician didn't say much and walked calmly to right behind his apprentice.

With a mighty shove, he spent the unsuspecting Zero down into the lake and watched as his student panicked. Zero hasn't really learnt how to swim and struggled vigorously to stay afloat. Although he wouldn't drown and die, Zero felt that he was in danger if he didn't get out of the water. The lake was strange and screamed suspicious even before Zero fell into it. Now that he was in it, Mii and the system kept prompting him to activate emergency measures because they detected threats to Zero's mind.

For some unknown reason, Zero couldn't take his eyes away from his teacher who looked very calm on the dry land, watching him struggle. Zero trusted Hua Tuo but right now, he couldn't understand why the physician would do this to him. There were no traces of amus.e.m.e.nt or malice. Hua Tuo was calm, like the surface of the lake and there was a serious look in his eyes.

Hua Tuo needed Zero to sink to the bottom of this lake so he silently cast calming magic on the brunet who didn't suspect a thing. He also added a sleeping spell gently to let Zero stop struggling. Slowly but surely, he watched as his disciple started to sink a little before floating on the surface of the lake like a balloon.

Mii stopped panicking and monitored the status effects closely. She also took the chance to materialise and glared at the Sage God.

"What have you done?!" the strawcherry fairy screamed.

Hua Tuo's gaze was cold as he contemplated turning that annoying fairy into strawcherry milkshake. Was she trying to dispel his hard work? The trial had only just started.

"If you're not going to be quiet I'm going to call the Great Gods to seal you up for a while. Zero's going through a trial right now. His combat training is not progressing lately and if Truen wants to push his plans ahead, we need Zero to catch up."

Mii didn't comment. It was true that everyone was worried if Zero could complete his medical training with Hua Tuo on time and earlier because Truen was almost done with his magic training. In all honesty, Truen didn't really need to study under Hua Tuo because his job was to become a bodyguard and Zero's guardian on their travels. However, Zero doesn't know that. While Zero trains with Merlin, Truen would be making preparations by setting up his business and expanding his connections. They were running out of time if they wanted Zero to complete his training phase here on Earth quickly.

Satisfied that the strawcherry fairy wasn't yelling at him any longer, Hua Tuo sat down cross-legged and meditated. The Lake of Reflection was a very good place to analyse oneself and see the inner world as it is. Even though he attained Godhood, Hua Tuo was still unable to master his cultivation as skillfully as Buddha. The first time he chanced upon the Lake of Reflection as Zero dubbed it, the physician almost lost his sanity.

The Lake was a cesspool of thoughts from the souls amassed over the years. If there was one accurate way to describe this inner dimension, it would be like the mind of Sleepy Cave. 

From what Hua Tuo understood, the waterfall was the continuous flow of mana used in the cave. The waterfall's flow and personality depended heavily on the will of this Lake of Reflection. On some days, the thoughts are peaceful but on other days, it is tumultuous. These thoughts often led curious adventurers astray and lured them to take a bath in the lake. Many adventurers would join Sleepy Cave's messed up life form at the bottom of this lake and become part of it. The Lake of Reflection read into the deepest fears and desires of a person's soul before trying to brainwash them into giving up on life to join them in this eternal form of 'immortality'.

Humans were afraid of dying and as an ex-human, Hua Tuo could understand. Still, dying was not the only fear humans had. Hua Tuo learnt that the hard way. He was afraid of failure and the guilt of not being able to stop the war plagued him even after becoming a God. he imagined that it would be much worse for Zero whose greatest fear should be being abandoned and not being good enough after seeing what his past self had accomplished.

Mii could only watch helplessly and hope that Zero would not lose to his fears after hearing Hua Tuo's monotonous explanation of this place. The physician only reassured her that if he sees the Cave trying to devour Zero, he will get them out of there immediately.

Zero heard voices and felt weightless. Where was he again?

He opened his eyes and was greeted by darkness. Why did this feel so familiar?

Without his sense of sight, the young doctor felt everything becoming clearer. There was no sense of touch or smell either, the only thing Zero could focus on was the constant buzzing of noise in his ears but that didn't feel right either. These voices didn't travel through his ears, they went directly into his mind. It didn't matter what language they spoke, Zero could understand them perfectly. Also, it didn't matter if there were ten people or a hundred people talking at the same time, Zero could understand each and every one of them perfectly. His brain was starting to hurt from the overload of information.

It didn't take long for Zero to be horrified by his lack of physical form. This felt very similar to being in the void when he meditated. Worse still, Zero couldn't feel himself moving from where he was. It was like the beginning all over again but worse. The voices won't leave him alone and only became rowdier, demanding his attention but Zero couldn't reply to any of them. He wasn't able to.

"It hurts!"

"Mommy, I'm scared..."

"I want to go home, please let me go home..."

"Where am I? Who am I?"

"I don't want to be alone, come back!"

"Don't leave me here! You promised we'll always be together... where are you?"

Disturbing voices and thoughts kept attacking Zero and he felt the fear that every individual felt strongly if not more. Zero felt like he was going to go insane and felt sick. Yet there was nothing he could do, he was stuck.

"Join me? I'm scared."

"I'm lonely, would you like to be my friend?"

The two new voices that joined scared Zero greatly. Why did they sound so familiar? Whose voice was that? Why did he feel like he knew them?

Sight... Zero finally saw who these voices belonged to and in a tiny space, there were at least a few thousand people whom Zero didn't know. It terrified him that all those people were walking around aimlessly, talking to nobody in particular. Some walked right through Zero and Zero was slightly reassured after he saw that he still had a physical body in this weird dream.

"Will you be my friend?"

"Thank you for saving us, won't you join us?"

Zero turned around and saw the two familiar faces he only saw once. They were the Moontaur sisters he tried to save before. What were they doing here?

Zero smiled and ran over to meet them. Unlike the other people in the room, they seemed to be aware of Zero's existence and the doctor was happy that he could finally talk to people he knew even if they were strangers.

"What are both of you doing here? Have you been well?"

The older Moontaur sister clung onto Zero's arm and the younger sister clung onto Zero's other arm. They smiled and led Zero away.

"Join us," Kayla the silver-haired older Moontair smiled.

"We can have so much fun here together! Isn't that right, big sis?" Layla the blonde Moontaur smiled.

Zero looked at both sisters who were smiling and chatting happily, talking about all the things they could do here today, tomorrow, the day after and next month. He tried to entertain them for a while but his mind wasn't here.

"Sorry, I have to go back..." he apologised and the moment Zero said that he felt something was wrong. The people who weren't bothering him earlier all turned their glares towards the young doctor and Zero was startled by how the Moontaur sisters were also glaring at him like he'd destroyed something sacred.

"Are you leaving us?" Kayla asked.

Zero gulped and didn't know what he should be answering. He wanted to leave and find Hua Tuo but the sisters clung onto his arms tighter.

"You can't leave, your teacher has abandoned you. You weren't good enough at your training remember? Why should you go back when they're only disappointed with you? They would never love you back because you're not good at combat. But over here we love you and want you to stay. Why must you leave us for them?"

Zero froze. He felt conflicted. Compared to Mitchnew and Ruth's disapproval, Hua Tuo's uncharacteristic coldness before he tried to drown Zero, the people here were nicer and wanted him around. Zero finally felt like he had somewhere to belong and to rest. He wasn't alone, he had many new friends even if they weren't as good as Baal or Truen.

Still, something didn't feel right. Zero didn't like the idea of replacing Baal and Truen. True, if possible, Zero would never want to be alone. Travelling and going on an adventure alone in this big world when he knew nobody and nothing about how things worked was scary. He also could not help but feel sad at not being able to create such beautiful places. His past self was brilliant in every sense of the way the Great Gods worshipped him. Zero could never dream of being even half as good as Solo.

"That's right," Layla smiled gently, all the previous hostility wiped away from her eyes. "Why should you go out there and be miserable all over again? Over here, you can have anything you want and always be happy. You don't need to struggle or worry about a single thing that you don't want to. There is enough for everybody."

Zero wanted to agree but he looked at the people and found that it was strange. Like the Lake of Reflection, they all wore that same calm expression like some bad joke of cloning. Was that what Zero wanted to become too?

Suddenly, he understood what the Lake of Reflection meant. It didn't matter who these people were, they were telling Zero things that he secretly wanted but could never have. Zero was afraid of being alone and didn't want to be lonely so the Lake gave him friends. Zero wanted to be normal above all else so they gave him people who acted all the same so Zero wouldn't be left out. Last but not least, Zero hated being inferior so the Lake removed expectations from the ideal world.

All these were nothing but illusions born from Zero's insecurity and he shuddered. What would happen if he truly believed in happiness here in this fake world? Would he never be able to return to the people who were waiting for him back at Endow Hill?

"No, I must decline. It is a very nice offer but I cannot stay. I have people waiting for me back home, I must go."

The apprentice wasn't quite expecting for the meek crowd to suddenly growl and try to tear him apart. Zero instinctively tried to escape and when they gained on him, the young doctor was forced to assume an offensive stance, ready to fight back and kill if he must.

At this point, there was a crack in the space and Zero almost cried in relief at seeing Bob.

"Hurry up, young master! I can't hold this for long, let's get out of there!"

Zero jumped into the portal and vanished from the weird dimension, happy that he didn't fall for their honeyed words.

So what if Zero wasn't perfect? He would rather be imperfect and himself than perfect and just another boring existence who didn't know why they existed. As they travelled back to Endow Hill, Zero made up his mind. He had been too cautious during his training about not hurting anyone especially Ruth and Mitchnew. He wasn't doing them a favour by being mindful, he was showing them disrespect by not giving it his all.

In order to improve, he would have to face them head-on like real enemies trying to harm him and his friends. Just like how Zero faced himself and his insecurities back in the Lake of Reflection's strange dimension, Zero would face his teachers with the same courage. No more running.

This time, Zero would throw in everything he had to learn earnestly. He couldn't be like Solo with the talent to create but Zero would harness his power to destroy and use it wisely.

He was going to tell Solo all about the things he did instead of the things he saw Solo made. He was going to take ownership like Solo told him to and make this world entirely his.

Chapter end