A God's Apocalyptic Entertainment 30 Acceptance

I staggered to the side as vomit gushed out. Ella rushed towards me feeling the pain racking me, but as she closed in, I flinched away and pushed her with all my strength.

Not expecting the resistance Ella was thrown away from me.

I didn't care. The name mentioned before flashed through my mind repeatedly as I continued to vomit.

Jena!

Who was it, what were they like? Where they a good person? What was their life like? Did they have kids?

The questions assaulted me, backing me into a corner in my mind.

My hand at this point was digging so far into my neck that skin was coming off.

I had liked the taste.

I HAD LIKED THE TASTE!

Before I found out that it was human blood I thought it was cordial. I didn't question it; I had even liked the taste.

My mind was stuck in mud, I couldn't think past this. I had enjoyed the taste.

I gripped my neck even tighter, I wanted to kill myself.

I didn't blame Ella too much in this, I was surprised at myself. I felt I should have hated her, for what she had fed me. But she was 2 days old, she literally didn't know better. But me, my sense of taste! How despicable am I?

I lost myself as tears fell from my eyes and I started shoving my hand down my throat. I needed to vomit, I have to vomit! I tried my hardest to clear my stomach, to get rid of the taste in my mouth. Even though Ella had been hurt from her fall, my emotions must have influenced her, as she stood straight back up and rushed towards me again.

She ran up behind me and grabbed on tightly. The contact made me thrash about. I threw her off again and continued to force myself to vomit. Even when I couldn't vomit anything else out, I started dry retching.

I continued this for a few minutes as it began to hurt a lot, but I never stopped.

The taste wouldn't go away!

It stuck to the back of my throat and wouldn't let go. It had a death grip.

Why wouldn't it go away!

I slammed my hand on the ground, causing it to tremble repeatedly. Because my body had been evolved a few times over, even this didn't damage my arms.

I wanted to feel pain; I wanted to feel something other than the taste!

My hands once again reached towards my throat and reached in, I was trying to claw out the taste. I had lost my mind at this point, I knew this wouldn't help but I had to do something.

After a few minutes of the futile attempts, I just laid there in defeat.

Why did I like the taste!

My body was being racked by sobs, as warmth once again hugged onto me. It was Ella again, she hadn't disturbed me after I knocked her back the second time. Having calmed down more, she had walked up to me now.

"I'm sorry Father, I don't know what I did, but please stop crying"

Her voice rang out as she held me. Her voice seemed to trigger something in me as all my rage and sorrows were directed towards Ella. I snapped my head towards her and burst forth with all my strength to smack her back.

My hand came around and backhanded her as she tried to comfort me. Even though she was very strong, with her endurance stat, my strike was vicious and even lifted her off her feet.

My tears cleared up as I stared at the thing before me! It was all her Fault!

My anger was out of control as I stalked towards her, I wanted to beat her up. Wanted to vent my pain! To brutalize her, for what she had done!

As I moved closer towards her, I saw the damage I had inflicted. My hand had cut across her face and left a huge bruise on her right cheek. One of my nails must have cut her lip as it was bleeding and smearing red on her face.

Her eyes had tears in them and one of them was half closed. Having her hair all messed up and her skin bruised, she looked up at me. But I couldn't see hate in her eyes for what I had done.

I could only see self guilt and acceptance of what I was about to do.

As my rage rose my head also started to cool down and made me think clearer.

What was I doing?

I felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on my head, my rage instantly being extinguished. I looked again at what I had done to her.

Did I just do that to my sister?

What a shit human being I am.

I lost all my strength as I reached Ella and she looked up at me in confusion. She looked at me as if asking why I wasn't going to continue.

What was I in her eyes?

I fell to my knees and pulled her in for a hug. Her bruised face was buried in my shoulder and I caressed her hair, trying to sooth her.

I'm a bastard!

All I could do was sob as I hugged on to her. Ella even patted my head trying to comfort me. It just made me feel even guiltier.

I remembered what I thought before. It wasn't her fault. She knew no better, she was only 2 days old. Everything to her seemed right. She was only trying to help me.

It had been me who had enjoyed the blood taste!

It was me who had lashed out in anger at someone who was trying to help!

She was trying to help me and I did such a thing!

I'm not worth of being a brother!

I'm not worthy of being a father!

I don't even have worth as a human being!!!

I hate this world!

I hate this life!

I hate myself!!!

Was I even human anymore?

I had to think hard as the question entered my mind. I didn't think I was anymore. What had made me human in the first place? What had kept me separate from a monster?

It was my reason, and my morality.

But now looking at myself, I think I didn't have that anymore, my body had changed. I had killed people. I had even drunk another person blood! And I liked the taste!

Dammit!

I wasn't a person anymore, the evolution system had changed me, not to mention being imprinted on.

I was something more than human now, a thing that could eat another and like it and a thing that could kill and not feel remorse.

I was afraid to look at my status now; I knew it would confirm what I was afraid of. I knew that if I looked at it, my attribute points would have changed. By drinking that blood that damn growth skill would have kicked in and changed me even more.

I was now something that fed on others to grow stronger. I wasn't like Ella that was born that way, but I was changing in to something else.

The thought of change had always been in my mind, ever since I had been thrust into this apocalypse. I knew it would happen at some point and when I was bound to Ella it accelerated. But I knew at some point I would have to go and kill that basted god and to do that I would have to become something else, something more.

This realization struck me hard, as I thought about the blood I had drunk. The thought still made me want to vomit, but I would have got to similar point sooner or later.

Maybe not eating a person, but something would have happened.

As the realization started to sink in I slowly calmed down. The taste that wouldn't leave my mouth was slowly starting to ebb away and disappear, as my heart grew cold and callous. Even my head started to stop hurting and grew cold beyond belief.

At some point I would have to give up being human to precede and avenge my family. At some point I would have to lose my morality and principles to survive and make it through to the end.

I looked down at Ella. I would lose all my principles, all my being, all my humanity! Just so I could kill that shitty god and get my revenge.

But I made a small promise in my heart at this time. I wouldn't betray Ella; I wouldn't hurt her out of rage again.

I would have to teach her a few things, so that a situation like this never happened again. And maybe show her some tough love if she did something wrong, but I couldn't blame her for this one.

I would protect the only family member I had left.

I looked down at the blood on my hand and assessed the amount of damage that I had caused myself. My throat had claw marks on it, and small amounts of blood dripping out. I had ripped into my throat to try and remove the taste of blood. If I tried to shout I would hurt myself.

Looking at Ella's injury I touched her bruise, it pained me on the inside to see what I had caused. Ella was smiling now that I had recovered. She could feel that I was now better.

My resolve was set in stone.

Staring at the damage I had done, I raised my hand and pulled out my sharp blade. Beckoning towards Ella I made her step back slightly before I cut myself. Putting pressure on where the cut was, I moved it over Ella's mouth and spoke to her.

"I'm sorry"

My voice cracked slightly as I spoke to her.

"This is my apology"

I let the blood slowly leak down for her to eat. I knew she liked to drink the blood of her meals, she could have some of mine, I had enough to spare at the minute. I had figured out that the nutrition that she took in accelerated the regeneration ability. By feeding her some blood it would speed up her recovery.

She looked slightly worried as I cut my hand, but with my insistence she started to drink my blood and smiled in happiness.

My guess was spot on and I was rather surprised at how fast it acted.

Right in front of my eyes I could see her bruise starting to swell down and the cut was healing. But it might leave a small scar.

I felt my guilt swell up as I saw the small scar around her lip.

I let her drink my blood for a while longer as I stared upwards.

I couldn't see through the roof, but I felt as if I was staring straight at the damn god. My heart turned cold as I hardened it.

I would do whatever it takes, to take down this basted. No matter how long it takes, or what I may have to do in the future.

I would knock him off his damn pedestal of power.

Chapter end